Well, my big culinary excitement yesterday was that I tried out a new macaroni and cheese recipe (not from either of the Presto or Romerhopf cookbooks, mind you!). It seemed a big hit with the other member of the household.

Almost, anyway…
This was JJ’s plate after finishing dinner. (don’t you love our placemats, by the way! How Martha!)

What is up with that? He couldn’t choke down that one last piece of macaroni? I mean, was he going to turn into Mr. Creosote and explode??

So, of course, I couldn’t leave this alone…

KB: What was wrong with the dinner? Why couldn’t you finish it? Did you eat too much of that fudge and spoil your appetite?! I knew I should have hidden it.

JJ: Er….

KB: I mean, you’re always telling me that you want plainer, more British food. So what do I do? I make you macaroni and cheese. How much plainer can you get?!? And homemade – too – not that frozen stuff from the President. There was not even one herb or spice in it. I had to force myself to leave the vat of oregano alone, and doctor up my own after, which doesn’t taste as good. And, how do you thank me? By leaving some. You can’t even be bothered finishing one last little piece. Next time, you’re getting KD!!!

JJ: I dropped that piece on the floor. That’s why I didn’t eat it

KB: (pause, thinking “Hmm….”)

KB: Are you suggesting that the floor in this place is so dirty that you couldn’t eat that piece of macaroni for fear of some dire kind of disease?

JJ: Well… no, but it had a bunch of that fluff from that yarn you keep flinging around here – and how do I know there wasn’t a little shard of stained glass like the one I stepped on the other day?

Hmm. Good points.

Today is Saturday, with the whole day lying ahead of me. What shall I do? Not particularly a great day to go for a walk… Hmph.

I think I’ll practice my dance routine.

That should wake JJ up…too bad I don’t have a set of conga drums, though. New Year’s present? Hmm…

Then maybe I can con him into a trip to Michaels… given the weather it might be time for him to change the door decoration! And then of course to the Irish pub next to Michael’s…

Or, I could always work on some freeform.

Yes, yes, I’m a shameless self-promoter… if you clicked the above link you’ll see that I managed to get another article published on WhipUp! It is surely only a matter of time before I become a world-renowned novelist or craft doyenne holding court on the House and Garden Channel.

(What would that show be called, anyway? Hmm. “How Not To Clean”?)

Time to plan the day’s activities. Happy Saturday! Today, it should be noted, marks the 60th anniversary of the Red Scare. Seems these days the only offensive behaviour Hollywoodites are accused of is drunken driving and shameless displays of wanton excess. Progress?

(drumroll please…)

First, some news: Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I had another article published on WhipUp –Check it out!

Sir John, Eh? proudly presents:
The Mason Dixon Knitting Baby Kimono – baby baby size (1.75″ waist and 2″ height)

And… a mini warshcloth!!

Both knit with Svale Stork fingering cotton on 2.5mm needles. Part of an art series on miniatures…the Baby Curve of Pursuit was the first.

And now onto the main topic for today:

Does anyone remember these… the German equivalent of “Martha Stewart meets Weight Watchers” cookware?

Another great find at the workplace lending library! I do not own one of these contraptions, but when did that ever stop me before?

It must be soaked in water for 15 minutes before using. Hmm. Does this mean it doesn’t have to be soaked after using? I can certainly live with that!

However, it’s possible I’m missing something in the translation. This book was originally written in 1971 in German. Alas, no photos save those on the front and back covers:

Several versions of the Romertopf cooking vessel on display here. The differing sizes, I get… but why a separate one for fish? I’m confused.

Unfortunately, the “authoress” (“authorina”?), Wendy Philipson (a good German name?) does not shed any light on this dilemma. She was actually charged with adapting the German version into English – and so got to try out all the recipes in the book, which, according to her, has “certainly provided a pleasing addition in contrast to the spheres of German-English interest in which I am normally occupied.”

From perusing the cookbook selections, it would appear that the “spheres of German-English interest” revolve around massive quantities of this ingredient:

Perhaps that’s why they don’t include a photo of the authoress. It is only a pocket-sized book and, given mass consumption of sour cream (because I don’t think that light sour cream existed in that day), her photo might not actually fit!

Aside from copious usage of sour cream, the book offers lots of helpful tips on cooking meat, as well as other topics:

(a) Taking responsibility for one’s actions

… even a Romertopf can’t make poor quality old flabby beef taste like young, fresh meat! So, don’t blame the Romertopf unjustifiably if the meat is old and tough!

They must have edited out “…you stingy jack@$ you!” And just when I was ready to toss the Romertopf off the balcony, too!

(b) Eating Healthily

Cooked in the Romertopf, pork is less fatty and therefore more digestible – and contains fewer calories – but it is nevertheless deliciously tender. Try some of our recipes and see for yourself!

A query – where does all this fat end up going, then? Soaking through the terra cotta?

(c) Dieting

This being the early 70s, there is a lot of information for “slimmers” in this book.
About 1/3 of the recipes are followed by the admonishment “NOT FOR SLIMMERS”!!! (Sometimes, qualified with “Unfortunately…” before it.) If you happen to be watching your weight, you should know that all the knuckle dishes (knuckle of beef, knuckle of pork, etc.) are good for you – unless, perhaps, you eat the knucklebones?

It is difficult, however, to see why some of the recipes are evil and others aren’t. For example, a French Liver Pie with streaky bacon, 1 c. cream, 1 c. sour cream, puff pastry and butter is apparently OK, while the Sweet and Sour Pork made with 1 T cornstarch, pineapple and chicken stock is verboten for dieters. I mean, they didn’t have this stuff around then, did they?

But then again, I’m forgetting that those were the days when carbohydrates of any kind were considered food sent by the devil to plague people – one slice of bread was good for at least 5 lbs on the hips or so the logic went. Thus, a recipe for Chinese Steamed Fish that says “Excellent for slimmers – WITHOUT RICE”. I guess that’s why all those Chinese people are such porkers, while the Germans are so svelte by comparison:

(d) Vegetarian Living

Speaking of pork (I know – odd segue, but bear with me) – this book even has a vegetarian section. How exciting – I have a lot of vegetarian friends and so am always looking for interesting dishes.

Here are some of the choices under the “Vegetarian” category:

– red cabbage with streaky bacon
– stuffed tomatoes with streaky bacon
– Portuguese beans with streaky bacon
– chicory rolled in ham
– mushrooms with bacon
– stuffed cabbage leaves with minced pork

I must say that I do learn something new every day. I hadn’t realised that up until 1972 or so, pigs were considered to be vegetables. I wonder if I can con my veggie friends into chowing down on some pork: “I know you think you can’t eat it, but the Romertopf cookbook says it’s vegetarian… see?!”

There’s even a recipe for moussaka – with meat!

And – finally, desserts – I guess this is why you would want to have more than one Romertopf hanging around the house – it wouldn’t do to cook your dessert in the same vessel you just used to cook your Knuckle of Veal with Sour Cream and Butter (NOT SUITABLE FOR SLIMMERS!).

In order to intensify the dietary message here, the “slimmer” messages start to vary:

– not suitable for anyone wishing to stay slim!
– not for anyone who wants to lose weight!
– not for weight-watchers!
– not suitable for anyone on a slimming diet!

DUH. And, I’m trying to figure out why one would go to all the trouble to soak this huge heavy dish for 15 minutes just to make flambeed bananas that you could do in a frying pan in about 10 minutes! Also, I’m not sure which dish you would use for “dessert” – the fish one or the meat one?

I’m so confused. I guess I’m just not cut out to become a Romertopf housewife. SIGH. Life is full of disappointments, isn’t it?

But then again, today marks the 44th anniversary of the debut of Doctor Who on television. So, with every cloud it’s possible to find a silver lining…

Happy Friday!

Hi all:

When last we met with our intrepid heroine (to wit, me) she was on her way to work and was just about to cross Spadina. But you must bear with me for a brief craftual pause.

She then mysteriously got transported to The 49th Dimension, where she was able to finish (finally!) this blanket:

Another stashbusting project – the Ugly Argyle Repurposed Sweater Blankie. It started life as an argyle sweater in progress. An argyle sweater, mind you, with entrelace seed stitch and stockingnette stitch panels. What the hell was I thinking! I hated this knit from minute one – to top it off for some reason it ended up looking like about five sizes too big… so I shoved it into a box where it stayed lo these many years (at least five or six).

I rediscovered it recently, and decided to start a log cabin border. This got tiresome very quickly so I decided to crochet the rest instead. Finished size approximately 36″x36}! I can’t remember what brand of yarn it was – probably Zellers Finest 100% acrylic. The crocheted part is formed of various worsted weight half-balls of wool, cotton, etc from the stash. I don’t remember who came up with the pattern.

But where was I? Oh yeah – at Spadina and King. So, I continued along my less than merry way to work – wearing my magic newsboy cap!Extra, extra – read all about it!!

Stop digressing, Kristina! SIGH. When crossing Spadina westward toward my office, this is the first thing I see:

Another ad for a proposed condo building. Quelle surprise. What a high falutin’ name for a condo complex, though….

But check out the young woman in the ad sipping her latte! She surely has no recollection of the days of austerity heralded by the “V sign” (neither do I, mind you, but I can read a history book…). Lady – are you looking for a condo here? If so, all those soldiers fighting all those wars have finally made it possible for you to enjoy the lifestyle you’d like to become accustomed to in a unit half the size of this guy’s suit closet:

You’ve come a long way, baby!!!

But hark – I see my office!!!

Oops, wrong office. That would be the “one Friday afternoon every month boardroom” where the tenant advocates meet and discuss highly pressing and sensitive legal issues…

The tenant advocates used to have a different boardroom on the odd Friday afternoon. It was a pub known as Toad in the Hole, and featured a pool table, dart boards, and a quiet, nicely shabby ambiance that spoke of many pleasures past. Now it looks like this:

A condo development in waiting, no doubt.

This stretch of King Street West is a part of our fair city in transition. Thus, you see neighbourhood one-of-a-kind businesses like this:

… within 1/2 block of high falutin’ chain shops like this:

If you’re looking for a leather jacket, you can probably save yourself $500 by picking one of them. Guess which one?

Having said that, Perfect Leather does not feature these photos of fabulous people with (presumably) very fancy lifestyles in its windows:

I imagine they’re all set to move into the Victory condos when they get built three years from now.

(And yes, this is the same place as the Hide House. It used to be called Acton Leather and the first shop was in Acton, Ontario, a sleepy little place northwest of Toronto. Someone must have clued them in along the way that in order to have credibility in Condoland one must rid oneself of any homey type names. But they forgot to remove the logos on the side of the store… which is next door to a Cooper Mini dealership, by the by.)

This “gentrification” (but I prefer the term “condofication” in this area of town, at least) has also affected the character of coffee joints in my work ‘hood. In this regard, I’m reminded of one of JJs favourite tunes, Loch Lomond (as performed by Runrig – and highly recommended they are by me as well!). To paraphrase:

Ye’ll take the high road…

… and ah’ll tek the low…

… and ah’ll be a’ the Smoke Shop afore ye!

(wi’ an extra loonie or so which will pay for mah mid mornin’ Diet Coke…)
Guess which coffee shop I frequent?

And, here is another (welcome, to me, anyway) sign that this neighbourhood still retains its less than salubrious characteristics:

A peeler bar!!!

(Ahem, excuse me, a very high end “gentlemen’s club”… just ask the Toronto police officer who had recently been alleged of assaulting a dancer there and threatening her with a gun. He had a good reason to be there, mind you. According to both him and his lawyer, they carry delicious chicken wings. I’ll never find out, given the $10 cover and $10.00 per bottle of beer… so who am I to judge? The judge and jury must enjoy wings – he was acquitted yesterday.)

Having said that, I see they have an apartment for rent above the club – maybe I should consider moving closer to work!

Then again, maybe not. I only hope that when I return to my Duty Counsel (aka Lawyer of Last Resort) gig at the Landlord and Tenant Board next year that I do not actually wind up seeing the tenant who actually takes this apartment there for an eviction hearing. Here is my speculation on how that conversation would go:

Kristina: So, the landlord says you owe $3,000 rent. Do you?

Tenant: Well, yes… but…

Evil Kristina: But me no buts!!!

Tenant: Eh?

Kristina: Oh, never mind. Why did you fall behind in the rent?

Tenant: Well, there’s way too much noise there. The music goes on until four in the morning. I can’t sleep. The landlord doesn’t care. So, in fact, I don’t owe anything at all. My only question is, do I have to pay the $150 filing fee for the landlord’s application?

Kristina: Well, it’s not as simple as that….(while Evil Kristina whispers, nay… shouts!… “You moved in above a strip club! What the #)($*@#)$(*@)#$(@#* do you expect?!?!?!?”…

And so forth for another 20 minutes or so.

Anyway, time to get to work. I think I’ve mentioned that, being a very important legal researcher at present controlling lots of highly confidential information, I work in a very high security environment. Even the kitchen is a locked fortress!!

I managed to remember the code to get in (no small feat as it is different from the code to the main entrance… how do you think I keep my girlish figure???) – only to find this on the whiteboard:

Not only had it not been erased since Hallowe’en when the original tribute to my Hallowe’en costume was posted, but there have been embellishments! As you can see, I was so touched that my hands were trembling when I took the above photo. I tried again and got this detail shot:

Hmm. Do you think that this is actually a tribute, or a passive aggressive comment by an anonymous co-worker on my lunacy?

Well, it was then time to stop the analysis and get to work. Off to the Inner Sanctum:

(This sign actually should read “ATTENTION!!!! DO NOT POUND ON THE DOOR MULTIPLE TIMES AS IT DISRUPTS AND FRIGHTENS THE SUPPORT STAFF. YOU WILL BE MADE TO SUFFER VERY DRASTIC AND UNSPEAKABLE TORTURES IF YOU DO NOT SIMPLY RING THIS BELL (ONCE ONLY, PLEASE) INSTEAD” for all the effect the current version of the sign has. Sometimes we Canajans are just way too polite).

By some miracle I remembered the code and got in. And, I can’t help but breach our high-level security protocols to give you a peek as to the sign you first see when coming into the office:

NB: for those people south of the 49th or across the Atlantic or Pacific, “L.L.B.O.” is Canajan for “Booze Sold Here”. I think it’s some weird holdback from the days of the British Empire…)

And now you know the real reason that I love coming to work every day!!!

In signing off, here is another picture of the Cabled Newsboy Cap I made a couple of years back (and as you will see, it’s not really sepia coloured, although sometimes I certainly look to be so!)I can’t remember what brand of wool it was – something soft and non-scratchy. Pattern found in one of the Debbie Stoller books. It was fun and quick to knit.

Oh – and happy birthday, Jamie Lee Curtis! Doesn’t she look fab! She doesn’t need a newsboy cap to cover her rat’s nest… er, hair.

For those of you who don’t know me, I live, work and craft in Toronto (not necessarily in that order). This makes me either a Torontonian or a Tranian. Of late, however, I’ve been wondering if this should be changed to “Condolander”.

Why? It takes about ten to fifteen minutes for me to walk from the St. Andrew (the Scots are everywhere!!!) subway station to my office along King Street West. I forgot both my iPod and my crochet when coming to work yesterday – so had to entertain myself in other ways (the fellow commuters did not seem to appreciate my dancing as much as they usually do. Maybe it was the singing…).

By the time I stopped trying to play “human iPod with surround sound speaker system” and started paying attention, this was the first thing I saw en route:

Ah. And just when I had managed to forget I was in Toronto….

But what is this next to it? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No – but it shares a name with a bird and rhymes with “crane”. I’ll spare you the guesswork as to my tortured mind. It is a crane (of the sort used for construction).

Don’t tell me they’re turning the CN Tower into condominiums!!!! Sigh. It was only a matter of time, I suppose. After all, this part of town is prime Condoland.

The Toronto area has 249 projects currently being marketed or in the construction stage, representing 58,000 units, making the city the largest condo site in North America, according to consulting research firm Urbanation.

– “Condo Sales Booming”, Toronto Star, 15 November 2007 (Tony Wong, reporter)

Moving right along: when I was a young wee impressionable lassie living in Kingston, Ontario (home of more penitentiaries than any other city in Canada, by the way! and before you ask, I am not an escapee!), I looked so forward to moving to Toronto as I had heard the streets there were paved with gold.

Imagine my surprise and consternation to learn that this was all a pack of lies. Instead, the streets in Toronto are paved with…

Granite.

And, on this topic, can anyone explain to me this “Hall of Fame” phenomenon that leads to enshrining your name and signature for all eternity… on the sidewalk? For my part, when I am rich and famous I assume they will be erecting a big shrine in my honour… not some tatty stone in the ground that looks like those tombstones people buy when they can’t afford to (or otherwise don’t want to) shell out tens of thousands for an upright monument.

I mean, when did these movie stars all get together and decide “I want my name immortalised on the sidewalk in front of some theatre in Toronto so that everyone can step all over it and throw their cigarette butts and garbage on top of my signature”? I don’t get it.

Having said that, I was glad to see one of my favourite comedy troupes commemorated.

SCTV – home of Bob and Doug McKenzie!!. I do hope I haven’t stepped on them before, eh? I’m such a hosehead that I’m sure I probably have…

Anyway, it’s about time to pull in for some fuel. Shall I go here?

… or here?

I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to see a hot dog/sausage stand that is open at 8:00 a.m. Toronto rawks!!

Here is the all-hallowed Metro Hall.

And, in classic Toronto heavy-handed symbolic style, the hot dog cart is located right in front of Metro Hall, where our municipal politicians work (sic?) so hard to keep Toronto the Good going.

Some of them work (sic?) there, anyway – others are banished to another building up on Queen Street West which, just to make things simple, is referred to as City Hall:

Ah, that 70s architecture. Bet you didn’t know that there were aliens in Toronto! I wonder if they only send the green politicians there… heh heh heh.

I should hope, however, that none of our City Fathers have been banished to Toronto’s Old City Hall.

But, from the look of things down at Metro Hall, perhaps they are intended victims of crime instead?

And – would that be so surprising, really?

Here is the view from the Metro Hall corner:

Another blasted condo development project. I get very depressed every time I see it. I often attend work trainings at Metro Hall (because they give free space and I work for Legal Aid) and have fond memories of staring out the window at the Duke of Argyle pub with the big Keith’s banner (“Reluctantly exported from Nova Scotia”) – a beacon of light and a place to drag the colleagues after the session for the true educational component – beer, deep fried pepperoni and gossip. Here is the pub sign, already partially hidden by the construction:

Sob.

Right in front of this condo development is this sign:

As usual, my photography skills are sorely lacking (I was balancing a cup of Tim’s Finest at the time. Skipped the street meat cart). The first word, you’ve likely gathered, is meant to be “Transforming”.

Well, some of the scenery along this particular stroll certainly transforms the way I see life in Toronto these days…

… and not for the better, I might add.

(And, another (possibly stupid) question of the sort that keeps me awake at night: is there any logic in renaming a street in a major Canadian street after a baseball team?

How ’bout them Leafs, eh??)

But I digress. Here are some more shots of the awe-inspiring transformation of my city:

(Who is moving into all of these places anyway? I keep seeing in the news that every time they open sales for a new condo complex, they have to limit it to three units or less for purchases. I am a lawyer and I live with a well-paid pensioner who also continues working, and we can’t afford one, let along four!!)

And an out-and-out eyesore:

A condo sales office! In case you’re wondering what “M5Vlife” might mean – join the club. “M5V”, however, is the postal code signifier for this area. A postal code life. My father, who spent his life going ballistic whenever anyone made the mistake of asking for his postal code (because he came from a place where you could just put the person’s name and town on an envelope and it would reach the intended recipient – after, of course, the rest of the villagers had passed it around…) would not be best pleased.

So, what are the hallmarks of a “postal code life”? Apparently, according to the colourful ads, the following:

(a) Iconoclasm

“They’re not really all 500 square foot cubes – some are 800 square feet! And – you can pick either beige or off-beige or white plaster on the drywall!!!”

(a) Green and Clean Living

On a blue background, no less. Are they worried about being dinged for false advertising? Judging from the depth of the hole in which the carpark will be located, they probably should be. Unless, of course, that hole is actually going to house the movie theatre and ballroom…

They have a blog!!! I’m not going to link it as I don’t want any competition… but this will give you some idea of the prices:

M10A – 1BD+Den (747sf)

M22A – 1BD+Den (696sf)

M22B – Studio (411sf)

Your opportunity to be the first to buy at King West’s Best Designed and Best Valued Condominium! Prices starting from the low $200’s [emphasis added]!

$205,000 (just to pick a number – what’s a few thou between friends?!) for 411 square feet? Why not just rent a storage locker – $100/month and you can rent another one next door to stash all your craft gear!!!

And here’s another one I passed just down the way:

The portion to the left resembles the last slum apartment building I was in to try to organize the tenants – except I think in that building the units were bigger.

People who pass by “glas” houses shouldn’t throw stones, I suppose. Or, is that “people who live in glass houses? At $200,000 for 400 sq ft. I won’t be living in one any time soon – so, I’m good.

And finally, I reach King and Spadina, which brings to an end the first leg of my work-bound tour.

The photo was taken looking south on Spadina from the southeast corner of King. More cranes and new buildings.

This photo will give you an idea of how this intersection looked a century ago (although it is taken at Queen Street, 1 block north, looking south onto Spadina):

And to think that only 30 years or so before that photo was taken (in 1877, to be exact), Thomas Edison announced his invention of the phonograph!!!

Ah, progress. Without it, you wouldn’t even be reading this rant (if you’re made it this far, that is). But it’s a double-edged sword.

Apologies for yet another post today – (and please don’t miss out on my work craft blasts. However, I’m sure you’ll understand my anguish when you have a look at the following

On Yahoo! news I was of course intrigued to see the following photo of my craftual cohorts’ apparent relative:. Duckies in the news! I was chuffed.

Then I read the headline: Can this duck make your child sick?

Things have gone too far!!! Today, ducks are demonized… what tomorrow? They could be coming after your dog or cat next…

Please, please consider writing one – nay, many – strong letters to your politicians. These duck rights abuses must stop… NOW.

Signing off to start writing and phoning…

Kristina

Hello all: and happy anniversary to Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, who was a former prince of Greece although he is not Greek. Go figure. I like to think of myself as a Princess of Greece, but am sad to report that they missed my respective families in the selection process for this high honour.

Now for a news flash!!! Apparently, rubber duckies
are now threatened by mass destruction and decimation!! Click (here
to see how you can help!!

And now for some craft blasts from the past. My Duty Counsel colleague Adelaide (who is the longest serving permanent Tenant Duty Counsel in Ontario and a staunch defender both of tenants’ rights and of the rights of her coworkers, has kindly agreed to model for this photo of one of my knits (which is now hers):

Doesn’t she look lovely? And isn’t that a fancy purse? (I had nothing to do with selecting her purse, I’m sad to confess.)

The knitted T-shirt she is modelling was a staff gift in honour of her 65th birthday last year (and that in itself will tell you how committed she is to tenants – still on the job every day).

It was knitted in Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece and is a close cousin to this top that I kept for myself:

Sideways top
Originally uploaded by BespokeByBrouhaha

Both were made from a pattern from Knitters’ Magazine, Spring 2005 edition.

Next up is a little something I’m taking to the office today to put up: a felted bulletin board!

This is a Treasure from Trash made last summer or thereabouts. I scored a (rather ugly, to my view) sweater at Goodwill, and decided to felt it and sew pieces back together as a little sewing exercise. I have put this up on the blog before (I can’t find the post for it!) but like the floating effect in this newer picture better… heh heh.

And here is some Frankensteinish detail. It’s supposed to be herringbone stitch but it turned out more like cross-stitch, unfortunately.
And some more lame sewing:

detail

However, the end result should jazz up the office (not that it probably needs it…)

And now onto something that will never jazz up my office, courtesy of the Presto cookbook which has fascinated me so greatly over the past few days…

Now – this I have to confess I like – at least the colour. But I can never acquire a serving dish which resembles an indentured servant for my house. My leftie credentials would be shot completely. I’d probably lose my job and end up having to find my own cart to push around to collect beer and liquor bottles to pay my rent.

This, on the other hand, would be an excellent addition to my household:
I think it’s really cute. I can only hope that I will be the first one to spot it when they put it out at the Value Village. There might be bloodshed if I view it in someone else’s cart…

And now for something completely different…

A destroyed law text! While ripping it to shreds, I half expected the Law Lords of Centuries Past to throw scrolls down upon my head…

I’m now having fun plotting to deface it further. Stay tuned.

I do hope that Adelaide approves… I haven’t shared my nefarious plan with her as yet. And here is another “strike the pose!” shot…

You’ll note the fancy beautiful purse in the righthand most side of the photo, on the table. Just in case you thought I walked away with it…

And, in parting, someone far less pretty than Adelaide. I came up with Kristina’s first Photoshop item … (I downloaded a free trial last night…) which my Canadian friends might get a kick out of:

(For others, “Carmen Mulroney” is an ex-Prime Minister who has been in the news again of late because he has some questionable past associates. The Man in the Moon is our current PM, Harper).

Cheers,

Kristina

…although my life would be a whole heck of a lot easier if I looked like her.

Maybe I should clarify something about the subject line. I don’t really want to be alone. However, I will admit that I am not the easiest person in the world to live with (I hope that my mother is not enjoying a beverage as she reads it, else it will be projecting out her nose momentarily).

Among other reasons, this is because my natural habitat is Slobus tremendosis. You will probably have gathered that I preferred to put up a second post today (Here is the first.). As JJ is not the neatest person in the world either, and is prone to squirreling away piles of paper in particular, this makes for a rather chaotic home environment at times.

In this regard, I’ve recently come across some vintage cookbooks and have had cause to wonder about how I can make some changes. See how happy these women look?

This is an ad from the back of one Presto Cookbook, circa early 1950s. For my part, I have never thought that it was fun to “keep house” in any way, shape or form.

So, I thought I’d start to reform my errant ways by consulting the cookbook and making JJ a nice hearty home-cooked meal for when he returns from work this evening. I don’t mind cooking.

However, sadly, nothing that Presto had to offer quite appealed (you can look forward to the reasons why tomorrow).

So, it seems as though I’ll be stuck with this option instead:

NB: I have gathered that JJ might not be 100% happy with being quoted on line. He has not said so, but keeps looking suspiciously at me when I’m drafting these blog posts and sitting here chortling to myself. So – you’ll have to put up with only my side of the conversation for the time being. His part is represented by ellipses. My apologies as JJ is far more entertaining than I – and has a cuter accent as well.

“Honey, I thought we’d dine al fresco tonight! I know it’s November and all, and it’s only 4 degrees (39F in America!!!), but I thought since the leaves are still on the trees…!”

(Can opener and everything. I’m very impressed with myself. Having said that, things are so much easier for the modern homemaker these days…

Hmm… maybe I could find someone to buy the can opener? It’s Starfrit!!! I should be able to get at least $10…

“Oh… I gave you mini ravioli to take to work for your lunch today already? Hmm. Well, you can just have the beans then…”

…

“You don’t want beans? What do you mean you don’t want beans… you’re british! You went and paid $3 a tin for Heinz beans in Tomato Sauce from England at that shop in Cobourg last year! Are you telling me you don’t like Canadian beans? What the hell is the matter with you!!”

…

“Oh sorry, you’re not British, you’re Scottish. I keep forgetting. Anyway, how can they be so different?! They’re beans. They’re even by Heinz’s for godsake. Only the Canadian ones cost 75 cents a can at the No Frills instead of $3 a can, and you don’t have to trot all over Toronto or drive all the way to that overpriced britisher shop in Stratford to get them! Might as well just make that $5 a can, including gas… “

…

“I know I keep buying feta from Greece when the Canadian stuff is half the price. That’s different.”

…

“No, I don’t have any proper sausage rolls. I only have those ones from President’s Choice that you refuse to eat because they have chicken in them instead of beef or pork.”

….

“Yes, I know the President’s Choice people are a shower of wankers for making chicken sausage rolls and fooling people into buying them by not putting “chicken” in big print. We’ve had this conversation before. A few times, in fact.”

….

Yes, I can make scotch pies but they’ll take 40 minutes.”

….

“I can’t use the microwave because you broke the plate in it… remember?!? OPA!!!”

….

“Oh, skase [shuddup!] Just get yourself a drink, would you?!?”

“There’s none left? Well, whose fault is that? You know I don’t touch the stuff…! It smells like varnish.”

….

” ‘So says the craftaholic glue sniffer’ “… ha ha, very clever, JJ. Why don’t you just have some of this instead?”

“Yes, yes, I know it’s eyetalian muck and it looks like bile to boot. You’re the one who bought it, not me! There’s nothing else left!”

…?????????

….

“No, there’s no 12 left either… you polished it off the last time you ran out of White and Mackay!”

…

“I’m not surprised you don’t remember, actually. You had finished off half a 40 of scotch and then you hit the ouzo? Which came all the way from Greece, mind you.”

…

” ‘Via the Dupont Street LCBO’ “, yes, I’ll concede that. But I had been saving it for a special occasion…
…..

“Not ‘the next time I run out of Keith’s”, no. I never run out of Keith’s. That’s because I know when to go and replenish my stock.”

….

“Why should I have to replenish your stock too? I go to the Beer Store for my stuff. It’s too expensive at the LCBO. Besides, you just passed the LCBO today on your way home from work!”

….

“No, we’re not calling Dial-A-Bottle. Don’t you remember they ripped us off last time and you ended up with a bottle of Bell’s that you don’t even like and that ended up costing $65.00 or something ridiculous like that?!”

….

“Sure I can order liquor ‘on the line’… that’s ‘online’, by the way. But we won’t get it tonight.”

….

“This ‘damned machine of mine’ is quite useful for many other purposes, actually…”

And so forth, and so on. I really don’t know how they did it in the 1950s and kept smiling.
Hmm… maybe I’ve been staring at this item on my work bulletin board too often?

Good news: I just found this, which I had stashed under the sink to use in greek boozy stews…
… because this helpmeet stuff is enough to drive me to…I really don’t know how they did it in the 50s!

On that note, off to clean the Augean stables…er, the bedroom….

At least, my side of the bedroom. JJ can bloody well clean his own.

On second thought, I think I’ll pass on the bedroom and head out to the Store of Liquors – a move more calculated to promote household harmony. And I can stop at the churrasco and pick up a Portuguese chicken for dinner…

Hmm. Maybe I have figured out this happy homemaker bit after all… !

…or so says Steve Singh. I agree heartily.

Sadly, however, in my case, art and commerce often intersect. I – queen of Value Village, stashbusting and late night laundry room trash hunting forays – do not want to tell you how much I shelled out at Loomis and Curry’s yesterday on this stuff:
So, what’s all this then! My newest foray into the crafting world, inspired by the fabulous work of Brian Sawyer

I get to deface a book and call it art!!!!

This is the book in question (which I am using with the kind permission of the author).
No commentary intended on the quality of the book itself – this was the closest thing we landlord/tenant types had to a Bible until the statute recently changed and the new Gospel According to Jack came down from on high.

Rather, the book fits my intended theme perfectly – Feudalism in the Modern Age. We’ll see if it works.

On top of the book is an angel hole cutter. Check this out!

Legal angels! Courtesy of my weekly professional reading requirement:
(I read it already. I promise. I didn’t just look at the job ads like everyone else does…)

Anyway, a great excuse for some cool new art toys. And I’m sure JJ will be thrilled when he comes home from work to find the kitchen table covered with the latest socio-political-artistic endeavour. I can just hear him now. “Oh, grrrrrrreat, some morrrre piles of crrrap in the living room.”

Here, for the record, is one of JJ’s living room piles of crrrrrap – and it’s not Scottish, so I can say that!

NB: the maps were a laundry room find last evening. JJ was enthralled. And now I have something to throw back at him the next time he rolls his eyes when I say I’m heading down to the laundry room without laundry.

And, here’s another:

They who live in glass hooses shouldnae throw stones, ey Jimmy?

(I will not use the word “Jock”, even in jest. It’s forbidden in this house. Were I to even think about using it, JJ – far away at work – would know, and would invoke the spirit of William Wallace to come and smite me where I sit.

Even though JJ is actually Irish …[ducking to avoid the sword of Braveheart]).

But, again, I digress. I should note that there are many items here which are from the Stash of Brouhaha:

Leftover playing cards from law school days! Some people preferred to meet at the Duke of York and play hearts and 21 rather than attend class. Not me, of course. However, I did teach them 31 (the greek version of 21 – we Greeks have been such trendsetters for aeons. Unlike, mind you, the Scottishers who just ran around painting themselves blue for centuries and couldn’t even fight off the pantywaist English… I’d better duck!). Hours of amusement…

Memories of Refrigerators Past.

This, for the historical record, is the current JB Household Fridge Display:
And you know I’m not going to let this one go with just one photo…

Gotta Love the Dollar Store!
A little light pinko humour:

Akbar and Jeff – my favourite cartoon!

Warning: Adult content ahead!

This is JJs contribution to the fridge decor. It was one of the few things he brought with him when emigrating from Scotland. It’s actually the back of a business card:

Ah, those Brits. Such a sense of style and class! Sounds like my kind of pub, actually…

Requisite Landlord/Tenant legal commentary:

And on that note, back to the main topic – artistic commentary on the state of the law…

Some more stash items:

luxury (but free) glossies from the Store of Liquors. And, yesterday’s fun at work: reproducing Landlord and Tenant Board decisions on coloured paper:

(check out this paragraph.

If anyone can give me a good reason why the member put the word “whorehouse” in quotation marks, it’s worth a pint of Keith’s.)

Anyway, onwards and upwards! Must clean the house before starting on this. Hey Jock! D’ye think Braveheart would help with a spot of pile-shifting???)

But before I leave you, please note that on this day in 1558, the Virgin Queen succeeded to the throne of England. (Help!! Braveheart is coming for me…!!!!!aaugugughghghgh….).