what spice are YOU?

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I found this cool webthing on Wannietta’s blog:

What Spice Are You?

Your Score: Juniper Berries

You scored 100% intoxication, 50% hotness, 100% complexity, and 75% craziness!

You are Juniper Berries!

You’re a drunk. No, really. Cool it with the hooch.

Just kidding. You’re really good at adding flavour to boring old life. You can be astringent at times, but once the harshness passes, you’re quite relaxing. And you smell good, too.

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test

I got a kick out of this, and it’s pretty accurate too (aside from the “hooch” bit. I, of course, would never overindulge in alcohol. Not so’s I remember, anyway…)

The link is above if you want to try it out. There’s only about 10 questions or so in the quiz.

Cheers,

Kristina

disorderly houses

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I’m never sure whether to kiss or curse JJ for introducing me to TV culture as he sees it (before moving in with him, the only TV I watched was Law and Order reruns. I had actually lived for the first seven or eight years in Toronto without a TV set – and this before internet days!!! How did I amuse myself?! Don’t ask).

Because of his evil influence, I am watching way too much of the offerings on the House and Design channel. One of my favourite TV shows these days is How Not To Decorate – which features two really camp gay Scottish guys telling people off for their home design faux pas.

Last night I was watching Colin and Justin’s latest programme and hooting at the incredibly bad taste of yet another couple. JJ said to me, “You should take a look in the mirror at yourself.”

WHAT?!?!?!

KB: Well, I don’t know that they’d favour all of the piles of newspaper and old mail that you keep in the living room, but aside from that, what is wrong with the decor in this place?

JJ: Tek a luik around ye, lassie. The only nice things are the thing ye’ve made, and ye cannae enjoy them for the rest of the junk.

This exchange gave me sulking rights for the rest of the evening. But today when I got home from work I came to appreciate his point.

First, I went into the spare room to try to excavate tonight’s dinner from the deep freezer:

This is the Rowan’s All Seasons Cotton destined for my Tilted Duster.

JJ has a point. It does look a bit junky.

So – I replaced it all with this:

My latest yarn acquisition – some Needful Kim (cotton/acrylic) which I bought on Sunday because it was gloomy out and I thought some summer yarn would cheer me up. It worked.

As I left the spare room, I took a look at some of my art in the corridor leading back to the living room:

Well Known Trite Student Dig Art Piece No. 1; and

Slightly lesser known sister of Well Known Trite Student Dig Art Piece No. 1.

Hmm.

On to the living room:

Perrier Ad Mounted on Particleboard (acquired at the Goodwill Gallery for $5 about 10 years ago); and

Perrier Ad #2 Mounted on Particleboard (also acquired at the Goodwill Gallery for $5 about 10 years ago).

Hey! It’s a diptych!!! It must at least have doubled in value now, don’t you think? And I don’t think that the beige background colour is nicotine stain… is it?

And here are my artistic arrangements which are so lovingly displayed on the IKEA “Billy” bookshelf which I got free with an apartment about 12 years ago (is it true, by the way, that everyone in the western world has owned a “Billy” at some point? I have three):

Emergency wind-up radio, Betty Boop music box, valuable Greek antique wine set, personalised demitasse cups, yarn, antique candles, and reindeer. C. 2004.

Air Freshener #1, radio cord for stereo, Goodwill coffee cup/loonie holder for laundry, valuable tin soldier collection (JJs), CDs, cigarette packet, penny jar and important mail (c. 2004-2007); and

Stereo Speaker No. 1, brass telescope from Winners, Air Freshener No. 2 and Stereo Speaker No. 2 (c. 2004).

All extremely valuable items, no?

And, let’s not forget the ultra-rare Greek Antiquities Collection. Really, I should take some of this stuff on the trip to England and see if the British Museum wants to display it together with the Elgin Marbles!

Then again, maybe not.

It’s just lucky we don’t live in Quebec, where it is a criminal offence to keep a disorderly house.

I do hope, upon sober second thought, that Colin and Justin do not drop by (which well they might, given that they now stay in Toronto part-time and are from Glasgow like JJ – they probably know each other!). We’re probably too far gone even for their help.

JJ: Ah told ye so.

KB: Ah, shurrup, Jimmy!!!

It’s my blog, so of course I get the last word!

A terrific Tuesday to you all. And a very happy birthday to Ronnie Corbett, compatriot of JJs but much funnier than him (ducking to avoid TV remote sailing toward my head)…

blasted Mondays

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(a) I was walking to the gas station for smokes and other provisions yesterday when a car whizzing by at about 80 km in a 50 km zone splashed me from head to toe. As a result, I got whacked in my (bad already) knee with a chunk of ice, and my iPod no longer works (I think it’s shorted out. I tried again this morning, and no go). Couldn’t get the idiot’s licence number. Good thing I didn’t have one of these!

(b) this morning it is two million below zero, or three million with the windchill. I slipped on a patch of ice this morning and got coffee all over me.

(c) the bus I take to work was diverted today due to an accident on Bathurst Street. The detour itself didn’t bother me – but I despite the attitudes it brings out in other residents of my fair city, some of whom were literally yelling at the driver “I don’t care if there’s an accident – I NEED to get to Bathurst station”. His answer: “Walk, then.”

(What does this photo relate to? Nothing, really. It just cheers me up to look at it. I actually had this shot of Dr. House playing Prince George set as my wallpaper on my work computer screen for a while. I chuckle every time I see it. I love The Black Adder!)

(d) I have an all day meeting today – usually this particular meeting is good for a few laughs, but I suspect most of the participants (from other parts of the province) will not show due to the lousy weather. This might impact on my ability to knit during the meeting (that is, if I have to participate more… usually I just like to sit there and nod my head wisely).

WAH!!! I know, I know: “Oh, you can’t knit during your meeting? Poor little baby. Ranting on virtual paper sure puts stuff into perpective!

On the upside, I did make a lovely dinner last night: Roast Loin of Pork “Cinghiale” by my favourite sexy TV chef, Nigella Lawson….

… and when I start to get depressed by working on my feudalism art piece (theme: the Landlord as Pacman – which is too close to reality to be funny, I think sometimes), I can just think happy thoughts about this:

… which reminds me of this:
Dandelion Handmaiden!!

Oh – and on the topic of Handmaiden and yellow-greeny colours, remember this?

Handmaiden Italian Silk, Bile colour (at least, that’s how I’ve come to think of it – as fondly as one can think about bile, anyway). At any rate, I was at Knitomatic yesterday (consoling myself about the godawful weather by buying some summer yarn on sale – will have to take pics at some point) and Haley there told me that that colour had come when she had ordered moss green! Moss green!!! All I could think of (but luckily, didn’t say) was “Don’t eat yellow snow”.

(Or dandelion greens, for that matter. My great grandmother, who died at 90 plus when I was nine, used to eat boiled dandelion greens every day then drank the water they were boiled in. The colour of this water was a muddy version of the Bile Handmaiden, come to think of it!)

And on that happy note… well, I feel better now, anyway. And so, I’m sure, did James Cross 37 years ago when he was released by his FLQ kidnappers. Not being able to knit at work pales in comparison, really.

winter #$&*(@&$@* wonderland…

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Here’s what greeted me upon waking up this morning:

(Actually, that’s not actually what greeted me upon waking. Instead, I was treated to the dulcet tones of JJ swearing – not singing, mind you – in the shower about snow, tendency of the heating system in the uphill landway snaking out of our parking lot not to be turned on so that Mario, the superintendent can ensure his big end of year “I saved a bunch of operating costs” bonus from the landlord, etc. etc. – this at 4:45 in the morning, mind you.)

Here is the actual (annotated) forecast right now:

-4 °C (24.8 °F)
Light snow (…which will later become freezing rain, which will become treacherous. SIGH).
Feels Like: -13 °C (8.5 °F) (Yeah – thanks for that – -4 wasn’t cold enough?!?!?!)

Sunrise: 7:32
Sunset: 16:42

OK – that’s enough, I’m completely depressed. So much for my little trip to the Shoe Company this afternoon. I was too chicken to drive JJ to work to get the car. I am a big wimp when it comes to winter driving – mainly because I did not drive for the first 15 years or so I lived in Toronto.

So, who shall I blame for this nonsense??? Let’s check out the Environment Canada weather warnings: ah, great. Both a Winter Storm warning and a Freezing Rain warning!!! Sorry for the shouting below – blame the Ministry of the Environment, not me!

A MAJOR WINTER STORM FROM COLORADO IS MOVING OVER THE GREAT LAKES. THIS WINTER STORM HAS A LARGE AREA OF HEAVY SNOW AND FREEZING RAIN ASSOCIATED WITH IT EXTENDING FROM THE COLORADO AND NEBRASKA AREAS ALL THE WAY UP TO THE GREAT LAKES AND NORTHERN ONTARIO…

Blame America!!! Amy, tell your local weather guy in Tulsa to take that on my behalf, wouldja?

Do I feel better now? Not really.

Having said that, it gives me a good excuse to put in a bunch more work on JJ’s Brioche Rib Vest – I finished the back yesterday….

(nd it’s even been blocked as we speak. I really do impress myself sometimes. Funny how I almost never block stuff intended for myself, but do an impeccable blocking job on stuff intended for others…)

…and got a start on the front left side of the vest:


So if I’m forced to stay inside all day (although, come to think of it, I will have to venture out at some point for cigarettes. Damn and blast!!!), I might well make some progress on it. I would really like to be finished this by the middle of this week so that I can start on the Tilted Duster by Norah Gaughan.

And the laundry pile, which has reached brobdingnagian proportions?… well, maybe I can manage to get off my @$$ and at least sort it for hauling to the Wash ‘n Fold (I hate to think what that’s going to cost, but the prospect of joining the Sunday fray in the communal laundry room – especially since this month looks to be a dry month for scoring any leftovers from people’s moves – is offputting, to say the least).

I just hope I don’t get too distracted by a long-lost book I discovered while cleaning the spare room (!!! Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles!) yesterday. This is one of my all time favourites, as you might be able to tell by the title. I have consulted this book so much that it is literally falling apart. It is set up like a dictionary, with bizarre links and references everywhere (sound familiar?!), and is worth hours of entertainment as far as I’m concerned. Here’s an example:

Canada: Although no longer a part of British North America, it is clear that Canada retains a sense of decorum. It is illegal, in the streets of Winnipeg, to use a bow and arrow.

See also: Antarctica, beer, gerbil, pumpkin, saints, seaside.

???

Antarctica: The sourth circumpolar continent. One was to reach Antartica is to set off from Cape Beale in British Columbia, Canada and sail due south. But if you only want to go there to see the snow, you might as well stay in Canada. The city of Montreal spent $32 million in the winter of 1979 keeping the streets clear of snow.

See also: ice

Well, that makes sense…

Ice: Eighty per cent of all the ice in the world is in Antarctica. If all the ice in the world melted, the sea-level would increase to such an extent that the Empire State Building would be submerged up to the twentieth floor. People visiting floors up to the twentieth would probably also complain that the refrigerators were malfunctioning.

See what I mean? Hours of entertainment…

Oh, and what are the links to “Canada” and the other five “see also” items?

Beer: The consumption of beer in a privy, toilet or lavatory is forbidden in Manitoba, Canada.

(What fun is that?!?!)

Gerbil: The Canadians have a squad of gerbils trained to sniff out drugs in their gaols.

Hmm… I knew there was a reason I didn’t like gerbils!

Pumpkin: The world’s biggest pumpkin in 1982 had been Canadian, produced by Mr Howard Dill of Nova Scotia and weighing in at 493 1/2 lbs.

I love roasted pumpkin seeds! In Greece, they are called “passatempo” and sold in the streets in the autumn…

Saints: Saint Joseph is the patron saint of both Canada and Belgium. In the event of a dispute between these two nations, he is believed to favour a position of strict neutrality.

I didn’t even know that Canada had a patron saint! How bizarre…

Seaside: If you do like to be by the seaside, try Canada. It has the longest coastline of any country, six times that of Australia. Canada also has the world’s longest street, Yonge Street in Toronto. If you find yourself at the wrong end, you could be in for a walk of over 1,000 miles. Should you pass through Quebec on your way to and from Yonge Street, remember that it is illegal to sell antifreeze to the Indians there.

Enough!!! See what I mean – I can waste even more time reading this book than I can playing the computer backgammon game at work. And that is saying quite a bit indeed.

Happy Sunday – and stay warm! (and, if you’re from some balmy clime where it is 28 degrees celsius and sunny, keep that information to yourself, please!).

Today marks the first day of the Greek Civil War between Communists and Royalists, in 1948. There is a very interesting (and depressing) book about this by Nicholas Gage called “Eleni”, which was made into a movie starring Kate Nelligan… a Canadian.

Why did I have to find that $#*(@@)( book, anyway?!?

PayDay – The Sequel

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(or, how Kristina spent the rent money at the LYS – yet again).

I think I’ve broken my own past record for lack of willpower vis-a-vis PayDay spending. Remember what I said only yesterday?:

…This typically means, if you have followed this blog for any length of time, that tomorrow you will be expecting a big post with about 50 photos of the yarn I am about to acquire today. Well, I have news for you. There will be no yarn purchases today…

That was posted to my blog at 9:10 a.m. yesterday. At 11 or so I went out on an errand to the bank – to cash JJs pensioner cheque and get his half of the rent to deposit into my bank account. I blame the line up at his bank, really – which is up on Queen Street West, also home of Romni. While (im)patiently waiting my turn, the dulcet tones of Deam Martin emanating from my iPod inexplicably faded, replaced by a little voice:

Evil Kristina: Why not just take a little run to Romni – it’s just down the street – and see if they still have any of that Handmaiden Camelspun left?

Good Kristina: We didn’t buy any the last time – because we don’t need it!! And it is not “just down the street” – we’re at Spadina and Romni is west of Bathurst, for goddess’ sake!
Evil Kristina: Ah, come on – it’s not likely that they’ve got any left, anyway – you know how the Handmaiden flies out of that store…

Good Kristina: Usually in your hands!

Evil Kristina: Besides, you need buttons for the Tilted Duster.

Good Kristina: I haven’t even started knitting that yet!!!

Evil Kristina: Look, here comes a streetcar now – let’s just hop in it. It won’t take any time at all…

Good Kristina: I have to get back to the office!!!


Evil Kristina: What is 10 minutes here or there going to hurt? It’s not like you’re punching a timeclock or anything…

Well, I think you can guess the outcome of that little spat. It would also seem as though Evil Kristina slipped Good Kristina some knock-out drops in transit…

As soon as I walked into the store this jumped out at me:

(ahem… having rooted through the Handmaiden bin, anyway). The espresso coloured Camelspun I had seen when they had first got it in – but refrained from buying. How virtuous of me…

But – sigh – there were all sorts of other great colourways of the Camelspun as well. This was another favourite:
I couldn’t decide, so had to take both.

I then wrenched myself away from the Handmaiden area (which, by the way, is extremely close to the cash register. They are evil in there, really!) to look for buttons, and found these:
However, I just couldn’t leave well enough alone. I went back to the Handmaiden section and pulled out a skein of Sea Silk which I had studiously ignored before:


It had a pattern on it!!!


This is the point at which Good Kristina awoke briefly from her deep slumber to protest:

Good Kristina: Have you forgotten about all this then, back at the house?…

…including Sea Silk, by the way, which you just had to have back in the summer, and which still sits there?!?

Evil Kristina: Yeah, yeah, yeah – but those ones didn’t come with a pattern!

Good Kristina: You don’t need another pattern! You went and got that whole Victorian lace book, and then another lace book!!!

Evil Kristina: But this pattern looks easy. We could take it on the trip with us…

Good Kristina: We’re supposed to be trying to design patterns now!!! Why buy another scarf pattern?!?

Evil Kristina: It’s only $2.00.

Good Kristina: What?!? It’s $39.50. Can’t you read?

Evil Kristina: Yeah – $37.50 for the yarn, $2.00 for the pattern = $39.50. Can’t you add or subtract?

Good Kristina, perhaps wisely, gave up at this point.

So, this is how Wonder Woman here, who was going to spend no money on yarn on 30 November, ended up shelling out… um… well, let’s just say it was less than $170.00.

The kind woman at the cash actually asked me if I run a knitting business, seeing as I apparently buy so much yarn there. When I said no, she suggested I join a knitting guild so as to get a 10 per cent discount in future. This might be a good idea…

But of course, this is now it for the yarn spending for the calendar year 2007. I won’t be buying any more yarn until 2008. I am most certainly not going near any yarn store in London while I’m there… I don’t need any more Rowan products either!

(And, if you believe that, I’ve got some really good bargains on never-used Fleece Artist and Handmaiden to show you…)

Happy Saturday! Please note that on this date in 1835, Hans Christen Andersen published his first book of fairy tales. The Emperor’s New Clothes is sounding pretty familiar right now…

Well, I’m off to make some breakfast (my weekend standard – jumbo twister Montreal-style bagel with peanut butter and bacon. I used to make this at work during the week but got tired of everyone asking me if I was pregnant!), then deliver the rent cheque… sigh.

Ribbed… for her pleasure?

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Just when you’ve left the baby at the sitter’s and think you’ve got some privacy…

I guess Quack and Daisy like the feel of this CotLin as much as I do!!!

This is the Brioche Rib Vest (from The Best of Interweave Knits) – a true Bespoke by Brouhaha piece, commissioned by:
JJ… light of my life, apple of my eye, etc.

(Having said that, I made him buy the yarn and some for me besides. He repaid me by picking the colour that I had bought for myself instead of the bland old Oatmeal that I had intended for this vest. I knew I shouldn’t have given him any options… and here I thought that Scottish people liked oatmeal!!)

I very much like this pattern, although I have to say it doesn’t much look like that in the pattern book (the yarn is of a completely different composition). This is the right side:

… and this is the wrong side.
Perversely, I actually prefer the “wrong” side to the right. I will, however, let JJ pick whichever he prefers before starting on the front sections… nice of me, eh?

Even more perversely, I got a big kick out of posing my little duckies on top of it while JJ was watching “Kidnapped” with Michael Caine for the seventh or eighth time (too many bagpipes for my taste, but each to his own…).

JJ did not actually notice what I was doing with this until I was almost finished. I knew he had noticed, though (or perhaps he was just distracted by my cackling uproariously), when I heard that trademark sigh, followed by:

JJ: What exactly are they doin’, then?

KB: Makin’ sweet lurve…

JJ (with his usual sagacity) seemed to ignore this response – until 10 minutes later when he saw the last photo above loaded onto the computer…

JJ: Lassie, why are these ducks screwin’ on top of my sweater, anyway?

KB: They’re not screwing on top of your sweater, they’re just cuddling… (scrolled forward to the first photo)…see, here they’re not just cuddling, though.

(long pause)

JJ: I don’t know what to do with ye. Yer a wee horror. And a bampot. What is this fascination with rrrrubber ducks, anyway?

KB: I don’t know, I must have had a deprived childhood or something.

JJ: Nonononono… that’s yer excuse for buying all that chewin’ gum and blowin’ bubbles and breakin’ them! That can’t be yer excuse as well for this nonsense.

KB: Why not?

Silence. Then:

JJ: Look, Ah’m just trying to watch my video, OK? So behave. Stop muckin’ aboot with those duckies. Gi’us peace!!

KB: You said “duckies”!!! hee hee hee

JJ: (deep sigh, then turns up the volume on the TV).

Puir wee JJ. He has a great deal to put up with, living with a wee bampot like me!

Must sign off now. I want to do a swatch for another sweater before I leave for work. It’s amazing I ever manage to get to work, actually…

Oh, and in parting: today apparently is the birthday of 1976 – Michalis Kakiouzis. Who is he? A Greek basketball player. I always get a big laugh when I think about Greek basketball teams. Even thought I am Greek-Canadian, the only Greek of my acquaintance that appears anywhere near tall enough to actually play pro basketball is Takis here:
Maybe when he’s not blowing his own horn, he’s practicing to be the next addition to the Toronto Raptors! (I suspect he’d have to lose the skirt and the pompoms to get anywhere with that ambition, thought).

Hey…

KB: JJ, did you know that they have pro basketball teams in Greece?

JJ: Really?… what do they call that, then… the PeeWee League?

heh heh heh. The JB household is never short on comedy, I tell you!

The Group of Seven still lives!!!!

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Look!!!! UFOs (the ones with aliens, not the ones with yarn and sometimes needles attached which you might find stuffed into the back of the closet if you’re like me) have descended upon Toronto!!! The Group of Seven just came in on those, I swear to you (the large one must be the Mother Ship).

Er… I’m jesting, really. This is my (extremely lame, even worse than usual!) attempt to photograph the buttons I bought yesterday for JJ’s cardigan in progress. I won’t show you the photo taken without the flash because it looks like mouse dung (and, having lived in 15 apartments in Toronto since I moved here 16 years ago, I have a really good sense of what that looks like!).

Now for some (slightly) better photos: my Mason-Dixon Knitting Miniature Series. (a.k.a. the Group of Seven. I really hope I don’t get visited by seven irate male paint stained ghosts during my sleep…).


It was originally supposed to be the Group of Nine but my ADHD kicked in even sooner than usual.

All of the below were knitted using Svale Stork fingering cotton (lovely stuff, highly recommended!) and 2.5 mm doublepointed bamboo needles (no casualties – yippee!). They were then mounted on little 4″x4″ canvases. JJ will be earning his dinner tomorrow evening by putting them up during the day while I’m at work.

And here they are in clockwise order from the top right corner (how organized am I?!?)

1. Baby Nina Shawl
This is the my original modification of it – my mother’s Christmas present last year.

2. Baby Baby Moderne

Here is my full-size version of this blankie (knitted with Bernat Handicrafter yarn sometime in mid-late 2006):

I’m not big on the colours (aside from the red) but they were what were plentiful (at Zellers) and cheap. This was my first blanket and I didn’t know if I’d go the whole distance, so didn’t want to shell out big cash.

3. Baby Curve of Pursuit

This is an absolutely wonderful pattern by Pat Ashforth of Woolly Thoughts. I truly believe that everyone should try knitting one of her afghan patterns at least once. There are dozens to choose from!

This is my Baby Curve right smack dab in the centre of my large Curve.
4. Ballband Warshcloth

I have never knitted a real warshcloth. Until I knit this one, I had been firm that I never, ever would (never say never!) However, as you may recall I’ve done two high-falutin’ artistic versions: A Woman’s Work no. 1 and A Woman’s Work… #2.

5. Baby Baby Kimono

Again, I’ve never knit the full-sized version. I’m not around babies all that much – well, never. Probably a very lucky thing for them.

6. Circle of Fun

Here is the mini-version of this lovely rug.
I haven’t made it full size – although one day I think I will (I would use Brown Sheep Burly spun or Bulky rather than anything else doubled). However, I did adapt the centre pattern for my Pinwheel Blankie.
This poor blankie was cut down (or bleached) in the prime of its life by some chickenhead who lives in this building and believes it’s a good idea to put an entire bottle of Javex in during the wash cycle. I got that washing machine immediately after (and there were quite a few more casulaties, trust me). A pox on his/her head!!!

And, finally (in my inimitable “couldn’t take a good photo to save my life” fashion – this time I’m blaming the fact that it is dark these days both when I leave work and when I come home):

7. A baby log cabin square

The true colours are something between this:
…and this:

This was my first stab at this concept:


(It has been gifted to Holly Ogre together with some Smarties and Terry’s chocolate orange. Maybe if Holly’s feeling nice today she’ll post a comment linking you to the photo of the full-size version on her blog…)

… and this was my second stab at it (with Fleece Artist Curlilocks and wool slub from one of their afghan kits. I got sick of the yarnovers.)

So, that’s all, folks!!!

Oh, not quite (you didn’t think I was going to let you off the hook that easily, did you?) I know you’ll be shocked, but I did end up going back to the LYS today and acquiring the lemon yellow Super 10…

… and some in a lovely fuschia/purply colour besides. It was on deep discount, so I actually saved money!!! (yes, keep talking, Evil Kristina…).

And, in parting, I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to learn that today marks the 17th anniversary of the resignation of the Iron Lady (now Baroness Thatcher) as Prime Minister of Britain. I’ve decided that when I grow up, I want to be a Baroness too…”Baroness Brouhaha” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Shameless self-indulgence…

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…or, How Kristina Went to the LYS for Buttons Only and Ended Up Buying More Handmaiden and Fleece Artist.

I imagine that just about any knitter who reads this will relate to tales of an everburgeoning stash. My stash drawers and tote box, in particular, runneth over with fancy silks, silk blends and wool by those beckoning sirens, Handmaiden and Fleece Artist.

With this in mind, I set off for the LYS at the lunch break – only, mind you, to look for buttons for JJs vest in the making:

When I got to the LYS, however, I realised that I had forgotten they now close on Mondays!

I remained remarkably calm. After all, there was a huge sewing emporium just down the street. So, I popped in there and got the buttons. I felt quite virtuous that I hadn’t just gone back to the office and tried the LYS again on Tuesday instead.

Virtuous, that is, until 2:30 p.m. or so when visions of this started dancing in my head…

A skein of Fleece Artist Italian Silk that looks remarkably, er. chartreuse. The identical skein, in fact, to one that I had been laughing at the last time I was at the LYS close to my house, Knitomatic I think my words to Leane, who works at the store, were “There is no one in the world who this bile colour would look decent on.”

No one, apparently, except Evil Kristina, to whom the yellowy-green colour was a light beckoning me towards some oasis.

By the time I left work it was pouring with rain which was starting to turn into sleet. I made a steadfast decision not to stop in at Knitomatic (a ten minute walk from my place) and instead to take the bus all the way home.

Until, that is, the Knitomatic bus stop (as I have come to think of it – I can’t even tell you the name of the cross-street!) approached.

The inevitable internal dialogue then began:

Evil Kristina: Hey!!! You forgot to pull the bell cord. Our stop’s coming up.

Good Kristina: I told you we’re not stopping here tonight. The weather is crap, and besides, that colour is horrid.

Evil Kristina: Well then, let’s just go have a look at it again. It will make you feel good to walk out of there without having bought anything.

Good thinking. At any rate, although no one usually gets off at this stop, about five people stood up and made tracks to the door. This was a sign.

So, when I arrived at Knitomatic looking like a drowned chipmunk (oh, did I mention I forgot my umbrella today?), I headed straight for the little baskets where the Fleece Artist and Handmaiden yarns live. And guess what I saw?

A shiny buttercream confection of half silk, half wool – by Handmaiden.

Good Kristina: Put that back. You don’t need it.

Evil Kristina: Of course I don’t need it – I want it! It’s only $31 – a steal!

Good Kristina: But just think of that whole stash of Handmaiden and Fleece Artist that we came across yesterday in the spare room!

Evil Kristina: Did you see any in this colour there?

Good Kristina: Er… no, come to think of it.

Evil Kristina: Well, don’t we need a nice neutral colour for a change to balance off all those jewel tones?

(Good point!)

Good Kristina: NO!!! Besides, since you bought all that laceweight yarn, you haven’t even wanted to knit any more lace! So, what is the point of buying more?

Evil Kristina: I already told you, that’s going to be the New Year’s resolution – lace knitting. Forget that “quitting smoking” bit. You just set yourself up for failure when you try to quit smoking at New Year’s!

Good Kristina: But we don’t even believe in New Year’s resolutions!!!

Evil Kristina: My point exactly!!

(Huh?)

Good Kristina: That doesn’t even make sense, you moron. Besides, we decided at the beginning of the summer that we wouldn’t be buying any more wool, and stick to cotton and other stuff.

Evil Kristina: Oh? So why’d you buy this in August then?

Good Kristina: (grasping at straws) Well, it was cheap. And I still want to knit lace.

Evil Kristina: But the buttercream colour looks so Victorian! It’s perfect for lace.

(Score: 1/0 for Evil Kristina. But, never content to rest on her laurels…)

Evil Kristina: So, what about this one then?

Good Kristina: (exasperated) What about it?!? The buttercream one is meant to be instead of this one. Let’s just pay for it and go.

Evil Kristina: But it’s so funky!!

Good Kristina: It is not “funky”, it’s hideous. Why do you think it’s still sitting there? Because no one wants to buy it!

Evil Kristina: But it’s Italian Silk by Handmaiden!!

Good Kristina: We already have two skeins of that, don’t you remember?!?

Evil Kristina: So? When did that ever stop you before? Remember that week when you searched high and low throughout the city to find Sea Silk in the Ocean colourway after hearing about it on Ravelry…

…and then, the same week – the same week, mind you! – you saw this purple Sea Silk…

…and just had to have it!!

Good Kristina: (sulking) It was my birthday that week.

Evil Kristina: Ah yes, your birthday. Didn’t you buy the Alchemy that week as well, because you just had to make that Oriel blouse which now you don’t even like any more?

Good Kristina: Um, er…

Evil Kristina: And how convenient that it falls right after that stupid Payday holiday you’ve started celebrating to justify your spending to yourself!

Good Kristina: We’re not getting the chartreuse colour. Period.

(long pause)

Evil Kristina: Look, you know you’re just going to come back later in the week for it – and you’ll be pissed off if it’s not there!

(longer pause)

Good Kristina: I don’t know…

Evil Kristina: Look at it this way. You’re knitting that vest for JJ, right? Despite the fact that you have all this other stuff you want to make for yourself? So, don’t you deserve a little treat?

Good Kristina: (faltering) But… if I get new silk I won’t want to finish his vest…

Evil Kristina: Hey, you’ve got lots of willpower. You’ll finish it. He needs it for the trip, right?

Good Kristina: …well, all right then.

Final score: 2/0 for Evil Kristina.

And the moral of the story, you ask? Never go to the LYS for buttons again. There are sewing shops that sell buttons without all of the other tempations that the LYS holds…

Temptations such as this:


And this…


…and more of this…

(The first photo that I took of this yarn, by the way, will show you just how excited I was by my new purchases – jumping up and down!)

Not to mention this:

Good Kristina: Well, surely that doesn’t really count as I bought it on sale 1/2 price!

Evil Kristina: Yeah, but were these two on sale? Huh? Huh?

Good Kristina: Um, er…

You would think that I would learn, wouldn’t you!

Sigh. In closing, last year on this day Harper (the PM)’s motion to declare Québécois “a nation within a unified Canada” was endorsed. I still haven’t figured out what that means, but hey.

Cheers,

Kristina

PS. Actually, the final score was 2/1 for Evil Kristina. She spotted a bright yellow skein of Super 10 on her way out but Good Kristina managed to talk her out of it in light of this:

(Hmm. No yellow. Maybe I’ll have to walk home from the subway station this evening. It doesn’t really take that much longer than the bus…

Yeah, right.)


bad teeth day

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Well, it’s Monday again – time for me to get off my lazy @$$ and back to work.

It’s been a fairly productive weekend on the crafting front – I’ve finished knitting my Mason-Dixon Knitting miniature series (packed it in after 7). They are still waiting to be mounted.

After making the executive decision that I did not need nine miniatures, I then decided it would be a fantastic idea to make a scarf from the remaindered yarn. So I started that:

This is how far I got because I became completely bored with the scarf. I am knitting it horizontally – thus, there are about 2 milion stitches cast on to a 2.75mm 47″ long needle! See?

Whose bright idea was that again?

So – I ended up casting on for a vest for JJ that I had been putting off (after all, it’s not for me!).

This will be the Man’s Brioche Vest by Erica Alexander, found in The Best of Interweave Knits or the Winter 2003 edition of Interweave Knits mag. I could not find a full photo of it on line – even on Ravelry! Surely I can’t be the first person to make this vest!

Anyway, so far it’s a lot more fun to knit than that blasted scarf!

I also did some work on my feudalism altered book project, which is coming along nicely, and ordered a load of beads from Earthfaire.

No big news otherwise from the weekend – however, I have a little pet peeve to share. When I popped into the smoke shop yesterday to grab some smokes, I got stuck behind a woman who was dickering with the guy in the store about her own cigarette purchase. Specifically, she was insisting that she not be given a cigarette package with the
bad teeth on it. This meant that he had to rip open two other cartons of cigarettes before he could locate one, which had this label instead:
(Please note that I am not refraining from showing you the bad teeth warning because it is ugly. Rather, it is copyrighted – or so says Health Canada anyway.)

Now, I must say that I had thought all that fuss about the “bad teeth” warning had died down, although I seem to remember this being a fuss for a lot of people when they first came out with these warnings (which cover half the pack, mind you!). I ended up having quite a bit of time to ruminate over this, as – just when I thought the “say no to a bad smile” woman hauled out a sheaf of lotto forms and decided she needed 98 6/49 tickets. 98! That costs $196!! And the 6/49 draw is twice a week!

Anyway, I really don’t get the insistence on refusing to buy a pack of smokes based on the
Anti-Smoking warning label. I mean, is this how narcissistic we are as a people?

“Oh, smoking causes lung cancer. Oh well. If I continue to smoke, I’ll end up on a ventilator in hospital? Fair enough. Cigarettes have cyanide and formaldehyde in it?

Well, everyone knows it’s the tar that’s bad for you. And I’m destroying other people’s lives with my second hand smoke? That’s their problem. And what if my kids mimic me and start smoking, ensuring a tragic premature death? Well, I’ll be dead by then of lung cancer or emphysema anyway, so I won’t be around to see it.

“Hold on – you’re telling me I’m going to have an unsightly smile…?!?!!?!”

Really. It seems to me that if Health Canada were really serious about getting people to quit smoking, they would scrap all of the other warning labels and force the tobacco manufacturers to use the bad teeth warning. Or, better yet, force smokers to go and sit in a room filled with photos of people with gum disease for three or four days. I just hope that they let me know in advance so that I can start up a company to market fancy cigarette cases!!!!

Actually, when they first came out with these big photographic warnings on the smoke packs, parody labels were being sold practically everywhere, with such bon mots as “Smoking Makes You Hoark Up Brown Chunks” and “Smoking Makes You Smell Like an Ashtray”. I don’t know whatever happened to those, but it strikes me that those types of messages would be a better deterrent than the threat of lung cancer.

This, although it may appear to be a parody, is not one:

And how did you guess that this one is my personal favourite?

A very happy Monday to you… and in parting, I’ll just note that the NHL celebrates its 90th anniversary today! It started up with five Canadian teams only – the Montreal Canadiens (fondly known as “Habs” today), Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, and Toronto Arenas.

good things come in small packages…

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… and I guess I just struck upon the title for my next art installation – part of the cliche series! Who knew?

I have a confession to make up front. A couple of years back, I had occasion to meet a friend’s mother-in-law. From what I had already gathered, the mother-in-law was the one that all those jokes have been written about – and I can’t honestly say I was disabused of this notion when I met her.

The only positive thing that I learned about her was that she did crafts. Specifically, she tsked when I took out my knitting (I was working on something with 4.5 mm needles if I remember correctly and said “I don’t know how anyone can work with those huge knitting needles.”

Huh?

Turned out that she, too, was a knitter. Only, her knitting took one very specific form. She made doll clothes with needles fashioned out of … piano wire!!!

JJ was present at the gathering, and nearly lost half a pint of Keith’s through his nose at this statement. This was good for little inside jokes for the next week between the two of us – speculating on mothers-in-law and garottes, for the most part. Example: one day I came home from work to find my WIP missing. In its place, I located two long strips of the wire JJ uses to tie up plants, stuck through a swatch with a note reading: “Don’t mention the war”.

The worst part of it is, I actually got this joke!

But I digress. What is the confession? That I made fun of this woman for making miniature clothing for her dolls.

And now what am I doing? Making nine miniatures (not one, mark you, not two… nine!) derived from the Mason-Dixon knitting book.

But not with piano wire! (although it might as well be – 2.5mm doublepointed bamboo needles).

The photo shown right at the top of this post is a picture of the Baby Baby Moderne I just made, together with his grandparent, the Baby Moderne. I’d like to be able to tell you that the blurriness in the photo was intentional… but that would be lying to you.
Here is it, by itself and it is 3.75″ x 3″.

Next up: the Circle of Fun rug.
This one is approx. 4.25″ diametre. And I’m here to tell you that the Circle is not so “fun” when one is trying to knit with two strands of yarn on skinny bamboo needles – especially when one has a history of breaking them. How I suffer for my art!

This is the first modified version of this pattern I made last year sometime:

And, last but not least: the Nina shawl.


It is 4″ x 2″. This was my original version I made last year for my mother (I had doubled the pattern width to make a blanket.

And actually, knitting the baby Nina reminded me that I actually want to knit a full-sized Nina shawl for myself. Maybe if I start this week I can finish it by the time we leave for England. I’m always looking for an excuse to buy more Super 10 mercerised cotton…

Um, er… well, maybe I’d best hit the stash first.

I’ve put my freeform project on hold for the time being. I figure that doing freeform fragments will make an excellent travel project. JJ has forbidden me to bring knitting on our overseas Christmas/New Year’s trip but he said nothing about a crochet hook. Nor yarn, for that matter.

And, on the topic of crochet, I’m going to be trying out the pageboy cap from here soon, I think (having located the yarn I bought for it mixed in with the Super 10 stash – it’s right at the front of the photo).

So, no silly walking to the LYS for me, I guess!

Back to my minatures (three to go). In parting, I’ll note that four years ago today, the Concorde made its last trip. I wish it hadn’t. I’m not certain yet how I am going to cross the Atlantic without smoking. Hmm… perhaps that’s why JJ didn’t want me to take knitting needles – he might reasonably fear getting stabbed by me in a nicotine-deprived pique!!