skirting the issue…

Just when I thought I had all the knitting books I needed and more…


This is a new one by Interweave Knits and is right up my alley. I keep being reminded that it is a very, very good thing that I don’t have a credit card, else I’d have bought this one right away.

(I have a strange sort of mental disorder which equivalates “credit card” with “free money”. (I gather I’m not alone in this, but it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with, really). I only learned about this issue when Citibank kindly sent me a pre-approved credit card many years back when I had first moved to Toronto, gone to journalism school and developed a king-sized beer habit.

A few months later, I hit bottom when I attended at the video store to rent a $4 video using the plastic and it was refused. Now, I have had many, many humiliating life experiences relating to my own stupidity… but having your card seized and cut up in front of a line of about 20 people over a four dollar purchase comes fairly near the top of that list.

I gather since then that the practice of sending out pre-approved credit cards has become illegal in Canada. This is a good thing, I think.)

Anyway, I really, really don’t need a book on skirts, given that I am still hoarding the yarn to knit this skirt, which I had initially decided I must knit last summer!


And there’s another dress design in the works (or at least, in the murky depths of my brain). Think “leftover Curlilocks”:

(Not in this colourway, alas. I’ll have to content myself with fuschia, eggplant and plum, this being a stashbuster and all…)

…and “short wedding gown”…(and no, I am not getting married. Ever. You can quote me on that. Although it would be a good excuse to register at the yarn store…hmm.)

Actually, if I were ever to tie the knot with official sanction, I’d probably wear this dress:


Or I guess I could knit another one with all that Handmaiden stash:


Having said all that, I really should be concentrating on the SOTSii:


…and not to mention the Bespoke Jacket:

Here’s my progress on that so far (the right front)…


I won’t be wearing it for a while, though, what with the “minus 15 feels like minus 30” weather these days. So no big rush, eh?

A very happy Monday to you all…

Secrets No Lies: 3rd clue complete!

Quack is rejoicing! Why?

I finished Clue 3 of my Secret of the Stole II today! (Daisy is continuing the party inside. It’s bloody cold!)

I decided to add some beads starting at Row 151.

I’m somewhat regretting this decision, or rather regretting having bought cheapo local beads that I can’t use my smallest crochet hook to put on. So, I’ve had to string all the beads onto the yarn.

However, I think the beads add a bit to the stole… what say you?

This represents, by the way, 430 metres (470 yards, or one full 50g hank) of Malabrigo laceweight. I wonder how many metres were actually frogged? I’m glad I’m not quite nerdy enough to keep that total – it would just be too depressing.


I guess it was worth all the frogging after all. And guess what? I didn’t make the Friday midnight deadline for the KAL… and (drumroll please) the world did not come crashing to an end! Hmm. I guess I’m just not as important as I had thought…

So, I’m all set up (touch wood) to start Clue 4, perhaps this evening. In the meantime, I started another project yesterday: the Bespoke Jacket by Libby Baker (I don’t have a photo of it…).

I’m using Knitpicks CotLin, doubled, for this jacket. I do like the look of the linen stitch so far. The original jacket called for just one colour (of Cotolino) so of course I’m going with five.

I’m actually thinking of trying to go for a Hudson Bay Company Blanket effect, just for a laugh. (Any Canadians reading this blog will no doubt be familiar with the Hudson Bay Blankets and coats). Picture this:

.. with bright (and some neon) stripes!

Or, maybe I could just steal my mother’s HBC blanket (heh!) and make myself this coat.

Great – just what I need, another project. I’d best hold off on that until I finish this…

Off for a lovely brunch with the ladies now. Happy Sunday!

The Brouhaha press clipping service

Sometimes I get a real kick out of looking at newspapers. Yesterday was a good day in this regard:

I mean, check out this photo here. Couldn’t they muster up just a tad more enthusiasm after winning $24.2 million?

Maybe they were posing at the same time for the passport photos in order to get the hell out of here as soon as possible?!?


(This was a photo taken the day before yesterday after the latest storm. Yes, yes, I know – it’s pretty. Just try walking $(#*&@(*$& around in it when you have to go to work… especially since no one bothers to shovel the sidewalks any more. Sheesh.)

Now, please don’t get the idea that I actually read the Toronto Sun rag. I don’t – which you might have guessed by seeing the main headline and knowing a little bit about my political views. I just saw this one in the cafeteria downstairs from my workplace. Really.

But the “Doctor Horror” banner at the top of the Sun drove me to grab the nearest copy of the Toronto Star to see what was up.

This guy, if you haven’t heard about him, is alleged to have spearheaded an international organ transplant/donation scheme where live people are paid (or mugged for) their kidneys. He was caught yesterday. This is what the Star said in part about that:

According to the Himalayan Times, Kumar and a Nepalese associate identified
as Manish Singh checked into The Hotel Wildlife Camp under Singh’s name, and
were assigned room 6 at the resort, renowned for nature safaris.

Wearing a hat and sunglasses, Kumar apparently asked for a copy of the English daily, which carried a front-page story of the global manhunt for him, then minutes later, returned it to the front desk with the article cut out.

Suspicious of such behaviour, the clerk alerted Nepalese police who stormed the room and arrested Kumar without incident. Singh, however, managed to escape.

OK. Now, just how swift was that?! I can hardly believe it (and I usually believe everything I read in newspapers…don’t you?) The guy has been on the run for years. Interpol last week did something that they almost never do… issue a directive that he should be arrested anywhere in the world that he happened to be found, jurisdictional issues notwithstanding. And what does he do… decide to add to his scrapbook!

Sheesh! I think I smell a Darwin award!
.

I was also tickled by a little article I saw in the Globe and Mail by Ivor Tossell called Say

No to Chain Letters. He starts off by saying:

Here’s a question for all the armchair anthropologists out there: Why do right-minded adults still forward chain letters? If ever there was a habit renowned for spreading lies, bothering friends, and making people look foolish, this is it. If ever there was an expedient way to send a little bundle of irritation to a loved one, it’s here.
Yet on and on they go: Quotes that were never spoken, anecdotes that never happened, inspirational messages so hackneyed they’ll ruin your day, and fraudulent alerts about missing children who never existed in the first place.

Indeed. Then there are all those testimonials about the virtues of V!@gr@ and derivatives that keep clogging my inbox on the work system. Of late, we’ve seen a few rather nasty and racist chain letters about Barack Obama as well, one of which someone who shall remain nameless saw the need to forward to me. Suffice it to say that I am no longer on THEIR little list!

There was also this pretty photo of some body art in the Globe:

This shot was taken at a body art competition in Kiev, Ukraine. Love the blue!

I finish with something that was actually not in the newspaper today (as you will gather) but was sent to me by my Handsome Intelligent Devoted Dependable Innovative Prince Among Men TM uncle Dennis (or it is “Cousin Dennis”? I haven’t quite been able to figure out the relationship – it’s one of those strange greek things. Oh well – he is related to me somehow, luckily for me).

Anyway, it is a photo of a Greek construction team at work:


In case your reading skills in Greek are rusty, the guy in the middle is a malakas. This is one of the few Greek words that most people seem to know – if you don’t, it literally means “wanker ” and is typically used by Greeks in place of “@$$h0le”. Heh.

Happy Saturday, and please wish me luck on the SOTSii – I am going to try to make some headway on Clue 3 today, Clue 4 just having been issued yesterday. Sigh.

the potential evils of landlordery

Before I begin today’s rant, let me show you something very pretty that I’ve been meaning to photograph for a long time:


This is a crocheted hat with freeform applique which was made for me by a lovely woman called Cathy from the Freeformations group. It was sent to me while I was in England this past December.

The applique is detachable, and she sent me another one for a different look:


Unfortunately, it’s been too inclement to wear the hat of late. Roll on, spring! (at least it finally stopped snowing…).

Now for the bad news.

First off, I cursed myself by gloating about my progress on the SOTSii, obviously. I had to rip back at least a dozen rows last night and am now very near the start of Clue 3 again. Sob. No more bragging for me (that is, if I can find the SOTSii in the big piles of snow outside my apartment building, having flung it off the balcony!).

Second, I read an
article in the Toronto Star the other day which infuriated me for obvious reasons.

Specifically, the owner of this house in Scarborough (in the east end of Toronto):

subdivided the house into 18 rooms and eight bathrooms, and rented the rooms out to tenants for $400 each. According to the Star,

The two owners of the property were each fined $5,000 for infringing the City by-laws. The earning potential on the house, correspondingly, was $7,200 per month if all the rooms were rented in a given month. I quote from the Star article:

…the [rooming house] landlords are making big bucks off the backs of desperate tenants. The operators rarely flinch when ordered to pay fines because they’re making so much money, city councillors say.

(And, in my experience with this type of landlord I would hazard a guess that that they were, and that the tenants were kicked out illegally if the landlord came by on rent day and the rent was short a bit. The landlord, by the way, lives down the street with this family).

What was even more galling to me: this property was being advertised on the Internet as a place for newcomers to Canada to live, and the web ad offered newcomers a ride from the airport to the house when first they arrived. So, again in my experience, this landlord was likely preying on the relative ignorance of these tenants about the laws in Canada and the living conditions that should be a given here. This level of exploitation, I find disgusting.

The flipside to this problem is that, ironically, in certain parts of the city these houses are being actively shut down because old by-laws in certain neighbourhoods prohibit rooming houses altogether, which leads to atrocious set-ups like this one (the Toronto we know today is comprised of six former cities, all with different by-laws and many which are still not harmonised to date).

So, why is it a problem that these set-ups are illegal in some parts of Toronto? Well, many people simply cannot afford to live any place else. For example, no mention is made in the article of what happened to the tens of people who were living in this house when it was shut down last summer.

I get very depressing in thinking how little the landlord and tenant scheme has progressed since these times:

This is a painting depicting serfs in their living space. Back in those days, peasants (who later became known as “tenants” were bound to the land and dependent on their landlords for protection and justice. If anything, if this is a correct statement of the system then, things seem to have gone backwards as the “protection and justice” elements appear to have gone missing altogether.

And, as ever, it’s these guys who run the show:

So, what is the answer? More affordable housing in the City, I guess… except that the City has virtually stopped building it. Of course, they say there is no money.

How to fund afforable housing projects, then? I say: introduce a small tax on multi-residential private landlords of a loonie ($1) per month per unit that they own. There are over 250,000 private multi-residential units in Toronto (according to these <a href=”
http://www.toronto.ca/housing/pdf/quickfacts.pdf”>statistics from 2006. So, $12 per unit per year would generate over $3 million which could be invested in portable rent subsidies or in building more affordable housing units.

Why should the private market landlords bear this cost, you ask? There are a couple of reasons:

(a) they make lots of money in Toronto. So much money that, even with a high vacancy rate, they keep the rents elevated and many units vacant. This suggests to me (although I’m not an economist) that they are managing to make money even with buildings which are sometimes up to one third vacant at any given point. Too much money, in other words.

(b) there is an argument to be made that private multi-res landlords would actually benefit in the long run from a scheme (even one partially funded by them) that saw more affordable housing in the City. This is because lower-income tenants end up moving into their units, which they can’t afford, run up arrears (which are often not collectible by the landlords) and then leave. I saw a position paper from the landlord lobby a couple of years ago which estimated the landlords’ fiscal losses at $2,700.00 on average when a tenant is evicted for non-payment of rent. So – less lower income tenants in their buildings, more money for them, no?

Simple, eh? But of course, rent controls on vacant units would have to be introduced (as Mr. McGuinty’s government promised to do several years back and then never bothered!) so that this tax was not passed on to incoming tenants.

Man, when I’m dictator, things will change. Wait for it. The revolution is coming…

Happy Friday!

Fleece Artist Goldiehair Shawl!


My latest FO, hot off the needles!!! And so easy you wouldn’t believe it. I recommend this knit to anyone.

The pattern came with a skein of the Goldiehair (which is a luscious silk/mohair/nylon blend) and is all garter stitch. Excellent TV knitting – although actually I knitted all but 10 or so rows of this either on the subway or at a legal conference I attended earlier in the week. I’m such an outlaw…!

I decided to take the shawl out to the balcony to see how she deals with the snow and cold:

This reminds me of a fuzzy stained glass window (does that make any sense?)

I then brought her inside and decided to sew some beads on the few parts where colour had pooled:

The beads match the green colour in the shawl and there are some black opalescent ones as well, although the colours don’t show so well in this picture.

I’m very happy with this piece… and I will certainly have to guard it with my beady little eyes when I wear it to work tomorrow.

Specs:

Yarn: Fleece Artist Goldiehair – Fruit Punch colourway (one skein – 125g=500m)
Needle size: 5.5 mm
Beads: from Arton in Toronto
Start date: 30 January 2008
Finish date: 6 February 2008

The recommended needle size was actually 6mm but I didn’t have a set with a long enough cord. So I tried the 5.5mm and liked the fabric. I did bind off with my 6mm needles though, to avoid crinkling.

Anyway, I love it!

So now for a little rant about the evening news (because I couldn’t leave you without at least one sourpuss thought. I am not Pollyanna, after all). I don’t know why I bother to watch the news, by the way. All that is accomplished is that I get alternately infuriated and depressed.

Now for today’s dose of what I consider to be rank governmental stupidity: the Ministry of Education has released a report recommending, among other things, that students not be penalised for turning in homework assignments late, nor given a mark of zero for the assignment if they don’t turn it in at all. Students should be marked only on what they decide to turn in, apparently. This is to avoid students becoming stigmatised by low marks.

WHAT?!?!?! Man, I was born a generation too early!

Am I the only person who sees something wrong with this?!? I mean, I have a couple of work deadlines for Friday. I would LOVE to go to work on Friday and tell my boss “Sorry – I didn’t feel like doing all that research. Now, where’s my paycheque?”.

What kind of lesson does this teach kids, anyway? (if I may be so bold as to venture any opinions about child education given that I am childfree, that is). I’m completely flabbergasted. Is it really true, like Pink Floyd said best, that we don’t need no education?!?

The best that I could figure out from the little snippet was that the government feels this is necessary to address the fact that some kids present with learning disabilities and other kids have problems at home which might lead to issues with homework. In that event, what’s wrong with hiring extra tutors and counsellors to find out how to support these kids?!?

Oh… oops, I forgot. That would cost money.

End of rant. And to finish off, here’s my new shawl saying goodbye:

Bonus snap of JJ to the left, rivetted to the news and about five minutes before he threatened to throw his whisky glass at the screen because there was an inane news item about George Bush being gifted a hockey jersey. Sigh.

Oh – I’m making a bit of progress on the SOTSii – I haven’t been able to do much all week, though:

This is through Row 140. So, I won’t be done this clue by Friday. I’m amazed at how chilled out I am about that, given my type-A predilections. Maybe I’m getting more into the process than the product?

I guess there is light at the end of the tunnel:

If it ever stops #$%(*#@$&(@* snowing, that is.

Happy Thursday!

what the well-dressed Barrister and Solicitor wears to work…

I know… the photo is a bit blurry. It was taken by JJ, who is not used to the new camera yet. It’s a photo of me wearing barrister robes (which a colleague of mine left behind at our training day… of course I had to prance around in the apartment wearing them. I don’t have my own).

And here is the Loch Ness Lawyer!

(I can’t blame the blurriness on JJ this time. And I don’t think I’ll convince him to pose for another photo wearing the robes and a See Ya Jimmy Wig. Sigh.)

This is actually what I wore to the legal conference today:

Everyone loved the dress. And a couple of people actually tried to steal the River Rock scarf right off me. These lawyers have no shame, I can tell you!

The training, as these things go, was very productive indeed.

See the little orange marker? I knitted all the amount above that today while at the conference. (My boss was very impressed, by the way).

Should finish it tonight (the SOTSii must wait… I’ve been having beverages with the colleagues and I believe in the adage “don’t drink and knit lace”, frankly).

I bought this little tote bag at the conference:

The plan is to put freeform pieces on it around the circle – so that I will actually use it! Stay tuned…

And – I decided to drop by the laundry room when I got home this evening – look what I found!

A Misty Mountain all-weather jacket, and:
A black fleece! Both in my size! hee hee.

The legal seminar was surprisingly good. I learned that my ancestors still have a lot of influence in the legal process in Ontario:
(This is the guy who was “a bugger for the bottle”, according to the Three Bruces.

Obviously I’m a direct descendant…!)

And – the best part of the training was seeing Eugene Meehan, a litigator from Ottawa who is into plain writing. His goal is to banish legalese. Gotta like that. I like the plain writing myself, as you might have gathered – but you may well see improvements on the writing style in this blog after his presentation!

Eugene happens to be Scottish, like JJ (although they don’t know one another – I checked with JJ). I never, ever thought I would go to a legal training and see footnotes like:

* or, as my grandfather would say when I tried to reply to my mother with any sentence beginning with “But” – “Save yeer breath tae blaw on yeer pooridge”.

Very, very educational.

So, it’s been a guid couple of days… but back to the grind today. And they’re calling for a storm. Just this past Sunday, they called for lovely balmy (8 celsius) weather today. I don’t know why I bother watching the weather, actually…

Happy mid-week!

oh no! A craft I’ve never done….

A handsome, intelligent, devoted, dependable, innovative uncle of mine who just bought a motorcycle

CORRIGENDUM: This post has been revised – the original post simply referred to “an uncle of mine”. It was rather churlish of me to forget to enumerate all of his fine qualities – which he wasted no time reminding me about, by the way. He is a prince among men, clearly. Sorry, Dennis!!

sent me an Email the other day, saying “I bet I’ve come across a craft you haven’t done yet.”

Well, I regret to say (given my big reputation as craft maven of the 21st century and all!) that he was right. Apparently, people are making fancy costumes out of… balloons!

I mean, check this out:

Now, any of you who have been coming here for a while know that this beauty would set my little heart aflutter. (But, as much as I like the hat, I do think it would look better with my Carmen Miranda headgear:

What say you?)

And here are some more wild balloon costumes:

A disco ball hat?! Hmm… Apokreas (greek orthodox version of Mardi Gras – the Greeks having to be different, it actually happens on a Saturday) must be coming up… which I really should know, and would know if I had a church calendar. Or if I ever bothered to go to church, for that matter… oh well.

Anyway, maybe I could use this as my costume? Um, perhaps a tad risque for that purpose, not to mention inadvisable for other reasons in Toronto in February…

So, how about this one?


Another homage to Carmen! Man, she has a lot to answer for. Must watch that Donald Duck movie where she appears again…or, how about this one!

An ideal Gay Pride costume, I think! I should make some up… I could probably get thousands of dollars selling them on Church Street during the festival…

But it’s not just costumes they’re making from balloons… there are some fancy evening dresses as well!

Check out this beauty in progress above – here is the finished result:

Pretty in purple. I do hope my friend Jennifer doesn’t read this – she will want one. If you ever meet Jennifer, do not leave any purple garment unattended around her. I’m serious.

Although it is lovely, I think this one is more my style:

Sadly, in reality I cannot see ever making, much less wearing one of these. Why? I have a deep dark secret – I’m scared of balloons. Profoundly scared. This is probably why I don’t have kids, actually – if I’m in the vicinity of a balloon I tend to cross the street – which is virtually impossible at a kid’s birthday party, I suppose. So, I would probably be hyperventilating a month in advance of planning the kid’s parties… sigh.

(Yes, yes… I know. Ridiculous. However, no more silly, I suppose, than being scared of clowns. Are you scared of clowns? I hadn’t realised how many people were until I sent this linkaround my past workplace suggesting that I make eight masks as a little uniform for us to wear at the Landlord and Tenant Board. I had several freaked-out responses in return, and two serious requests never to send anything like that again. I felt badly… but just had never thought about the possibility of clownphobia. There but for the grace of God go I….

And in light of my balloonphobia, you can only imagine how terrifying I found this photo. I could hardly bear to upload it as that meant I had to look at it again.

My hands are now starting to shake too much to type. So, back to some pretty stuff…).

Here is my favourite with a fancy matching pillbox hat (!!!) and another lovely evening gown:

Don’t you love the scalloped edging at the bottom! I wonder if it’s any simpler to make than picot edging… hmmm….

And, there’s even a wedding dress!


One question – how do you preserve it after the wedding? I smell a money making scam:

Brouhaha Heirloom Storage: we see to all your balloon dress storage needs*.

*we are not responsible for any breakage, deflation, etc and your one-time storage price is not refundable. I don’t care that I charged you $500.00 telling you that it was far cheaper than paying $60-70 a month over time…always read the fine print before signing anything a lawyer gives you, OK? Expensive lesson but it could have been worse… it’s not a cell phone contract after all where if you want to break the contract they make you mortgage your firstborn! (I didn’t have a first-born to mortgage so they basically told me I would owe them $25.00 a month into perpetuity. Many, many strong letters, aggrieved phone conversations and complaint to the CRTC later, I was finally released from the contract. Which I guess I should have read. So there.


Well, that’s enough beauty for one post, I think. Although I won’t be rushing off to the balloon shop anytime soon, it’s always wonderful to see ultra-creativity!

Cheers,

Kristina

PS. Just looked up Apokreas… it passed on 2 February! Sigh.

PPS. I had a very productive work training day yesterday…
Lots of talking heads = lots of knitting time. At the seminar I knitted everything from the little slip of paper (an impromptu marker, if you like) to the top!



Valley of the Beads – a Brouhaha design!

You might well wonder who this class act is who dropped by my apartment yesterday (given that there aren’t too many class acts who make it to one’s place when one is living on the wrong side of the ravine…

Is it one of those English princesses who go around with the crazy wide hats, dressed down for the Canadian winter? Or Grace Kelly or Greta Garbo, paying a visit from the afterlife?

Nope.

Just little ol’ me, wearing my newest design – a fancy new cotton/silk blend top!

(This is a photo of JJs breakfast, which he flung off the balcony in disgust after I kept whining at him, “Do I look fat in this top?!?!?! I know you say I don’t, but DO I?!?”:

And no, he didn’t manage to toss it all that far. A squirrel came along, took it and stashed it there. Now at least I know where to look if any yarn has gone missing mysteriously… ! And 12 hours later, the food still sits there…)

The top was constructed with a Moebius tube for the top/bust part, courtesy of the fabulous Cat Bordhi’s Moebius knitting technique. It was a bit of an experiment and halfway through I was ripping out the little hair that I have left – but all’s well that ends well, I think.


Here is a close-up of the Moebius fold and how it works with this top, which I call the Valley of the Beads because of the crevices created by the magical Moebius:

Having said that, taking a look at Aphrodite’s bustline, I’m inclined to rename it “Valley of the Silicone”. I mean, check it out – she’s gone from an A cup to a D cup overnight, apparently!

Her breasts are now bigger than mine!!! It’s quite the site to behold, actually – even some of the local wildlife apparently came by to have a look:

(Damned pigeons… they probably just wanted to steal the beads! And do I spy with my little eye the footprint of Glasgow’s answer to the Loch Ness Monster?

Eek!!!! … but I digress…)

So how did a dressmaker’s doll manage to get a boob job? Well, I must confess that it’s all my fault. She came to me the other day whining that she was sick of wearing a training bra. I tried to give her the little “make the best of what you’ve got” speech but she wouldn’t listen and just started snivelling about how the other kids were better endowed than her.

Well, she had a good point there. So I signed the consent form that she shoved right at me, and I guess the dirty deed was done on Saturday when I was running around like a jackass crafting. I think I’m just jealous because hers are firmer than mine now. Ah, foolish youth!

Anyway, isn’t the top sparkly and lovely? I’ll give you some specs below, and there’s also the “Making of… the Moebius-bosomed top” Tutorial.

(Please note that it is not a “pattern” as such as in order to learn how to do the mosaic cast-on you will need one of Cat Bordhi’s magical knitting books – highly recommended, by the way!)


Specs:

  • yarn: Svale of Danegarn (DK weight cotton/viscose/silk blend)
  • needle size: 4.00mm (47″ addi turbo and 24″ Clover bamboo)
  • beads: 6/0 size gunmetal and olive coloured beads by Earthfaire.
  • start date: 31 January 2008
  • finish date: 2 February 2008
  • size: 32″ circumference for 34″ bust (mine, not Aphrodite’s)

Notes

  • I’m so happy that the Moebius concept worked out for this top! I foresee many more… I wasn’t quite sure it would work out.

  • I knitted the Moebius first and bound it off, then picked up stitches around one side of it and knitted the bottom down in the round (see my tutorial for more info).
  • I was originally planning a stockinette bottom part. However, I still had quite a few beads left so decided to adapt Sivia Harding’s lovely River Rock pattern, using a larger rib and somewhat different rocks. Thanks, Sivia!

  • I didn’t quite know what to do about straps and mulled over several ideas (which I ramble about in the tutorial).> I finally just decided on a 12 stitch 4×4 rib with one rock in each strap:

Anyway, I’m quite happy with how it turned out. If anyone is interested in the concept and wants guidance beyond my various rambles, please feel free to Email me directly.

(NB. there is a tutorial of sorts, really more of a ramble, on how to design something similar for yourself – click here if interested.)

Cheers,

Kristina

how to make your very own fabulous Moebius-bosomed top!!

Are you craving a slinky sexy show-off-your-assets silky top to banish the winter blues (or, if in Australia or anywhere else where it is summer right now, to prance around with at the beach)?

If so, do I have the tutorial for you!! Well, perhaps not “tutorial” so much as “half-assed step by step ramble on how to put together your very own custom fit Moebius-bosom top” (and if you’ve tripped across this tutorial by accident, check out the original blog post for more pics!

Legalistic type bumf: Please feel free to print out for your own use and to share with other knitters or link from your own blog. However, kindly do not repost in full without crediting me. All rights reserved. Moebius technique is the work of Cat Bordhi and is not reproduced here. The idea for the beaded bodice is adapted from the River Rock scarf by Sivia Harding.

Secondary warning… this post is very, very long. It has some technique photos and that’s my excuse.)

1. Get one of the Treasuries of Magical Knitting by Cat Bordhi for instructions on the Moebius cast-on technique.

I know, I know – some tutorial when I’m telling you to shell out cash up front (unless, of course, you already have one of these wonderful books!). However, you won’t regret it.

(And please note that I can’t vouch for any other techniques to accomplish this effect, which is basically knitting a short scarf in the round which is attached at both ends with a half-twist in it. Except that Cat explains it far better than I. Get the book. All page references given here are for A Treasury of Magical Knitting.)

2. Do a tension/gauge sample.


Now, as you might have gathered, I’m not a big fan of swatching in the ordinary course. However, for a top like this it was necessary because even a couple of inches differential over the whole Moebius would mean that it would be sagging on me.

The yarn I used was Svale of Dalegarn (a DK/worsted with cotton/silk/viscose blend – 50g=108m). I got a tension of 20 sts and 28 rows over 4″ / 10 cm using 4mm needles.

Oops – this step assumes you’ve picked yarn! How silly. You see the specs above. The Svale is very nice to work with, and results in a soft fabric. Some good subs would be:

– Ella Rae Silkience (cotton/modal/silk/rayon
– SWTC Oasis (soysilk – but caution, it might sag)

If you don’t want the silky sheen, I’d go for a light cotton. If you want ultra clingy, try Cascade Fixation. And of course there’s always Handmaiden Silken… STOP!!

Oh – you will need circular needles of 47″ length for the Moebius. For the rest of the top, if planning to knit in the round, pick whichever needles best go with your body size. I used 32″ circulars, which would work OK for a medium or large as well.

3. Decide what size you want to make for yourself.

I should note that in the pattern for myself there were several inches of negative ease. This means that for a 34″ bustline (my bra size is 34C) I elected to make a smaller top to ensure a close fit – 29″ or so.

Cat Bordhi makes this very easy by providing a chart of how many stitches to cast on for a Moebius Scarf (at p.20). For my purpose (because I wanted something very closefitting) I erred on the side of caution and came up with a number partway between “my” size and the next smallest – 144 stitches.

For your purpose, you’ll need to decide if you want the bust piece super tight (like mine) or less tight (as would work out with Cat’s recommendation for the scarf size).

Example:

– my stitch tension was 20 stitches per four inches or five stitches per inch.
– I wanted a 32″ circumference.
– at my tension, to get a 32″ circumference, I would have to cast on [32×5=] 160 stitches.
– however, I wanted it a bit closer fitting so elected to go with 144 stitches or approximately 29″ circumference (my sample was quite stretchy).

If you are not as much of a showoff as I (which I imagine is quite likely!), I’d go with two or three inches of negative ease.

You will also need to know how wide you want to make your Moebius strip. For this, I suggest measuring yourself wearing a comfortable bra (by which I mean, one which provides good coverage, mind you). Take the measurement right from the bottom of the cup to where you think you want the Moebius to cover up to:

Mine was seven inches. If you are more modest than I, you might want to add an inch or two.

NB. One suggestion (which Cat kindly gave me in an Email) to double-check all of this: cut up an old t-shirt in the approximate length and width and try it out to see what works for you… then calculate your stitch tension per inch and multiply by the number of inches you want. (And… follow the time-honoured adage “Do as I say, not as I do” because I was too foolhardy lazy free-spirited to do this, but it is a good idea.

Clear as mud?

FAQ: How many skeins of yarn will I need for my top?

Well, I don’t know if you’ll be any wiser at the end of this question: but if you’ve got a similar tension to me and use the same or a similar yarn, I can give you a rough guide.

My moebius strip took 90g of yarn and contained 6,400 stitches (25 rows x 256 sts) plus cast on plus cast off = approximately 6,800 stitches worth for a seven inch wide Moebius.

The ribbed portion took 180g of yarn and contained 9548 stitches (77 rows x 124 sts) for an 11 inch length. With casting off, I approximate 9,750 stitches.

The straps took approximately 25 grams of yarn total (this is a high estimate – I didn’t actually weigh it) and were 840 stitches (70 rows x 12 stitches) – with casting off let’s say 880 stitches worth.

So:

total stitches = [6,800 + 9,750 + 880=] 17,430 stitches (wow! Don’t let this put you off! My Curve of Pursuit had something like 90,000 stitches in it…)

total grams of yarn = [90 + 180 + 25 =]270

total yardage: this yarn had 108m per 50 grams or [108 / 50 =]2.16 m per gram. So – the total is [270 grams x 2.16] = 583 metres.

This worked out to just less than six skeins of the Svale. Now, I don’t vouch for the math, but if you know how long you want the top to be and how big the Moebius, AND you have a swatch, you can work it out for yourself! See why swatching is important?!

End of speech.

Stressed out yet? Fear not. This was the hardest part by far. Trust me. And I’m not even good at maths!

4. String some beads onto your yarn.

For this pattern you will need to put the beads directly onto your working yarn. Here’s how: You will need dental floss threaders (available at most drugstores):


I think they look like nooses. JJ thinks they look like lassoes (I think he watched too many westerns growing up…or maybe I’m just warped. Probably both things are true…).

Anyway, put a long tail of your yarn through the “noose” part (and if you want to save yourself a lot of effing and blinding, make it at least nine inches or so. You really don’t want to be picking up beads off the floor, do you?! I learned this from bitter experience).

Then slip some beads onto the long part like so:

…and push them down over the noose onto the yarn. Simple, eh?

As a rough guide as to how many beads to start with – I used 2 skeins (100g) of my chosen yarn for the Moebius and placed 342 beads in it. So – if you want a similar amount of beads, go with 170 or so beads on the first skein to be safe.

You might want to push groups of them down further into your skein before starting to knit, to avoid them all bunching up. But – it’s good exercise! You should see my biceps!!

4. Find some stitch markers.

If you’re as lackadaisical as I tend to be, you may well not even know what these are. So, just in case:

The ones on the left side are removable (and I will confess that I didn’t know what these were until I saw them mentioned in a crochet book a year ago or so). The other ones are the regular kind. Removable stitch markers in particular are your friends. Use liberally.

Since I left this note rather late in the tutorial, you may not be in a position to go out and buy removable stitch markers. Waste yarn and a tapestry needle will give the same result. Just take at least six inches of the waste yarn and thread it through the live stitch with the tapestry needle, letting both ends dangle.

6. Start knitting!

Finally!! you say!!

Cast on the appropriate amount of stitches using the Moebius technique.

An alternative… you could, I suppose, just knit a long strip in the appropriate length and width then just fold over and sew together. I believe Elizabeth Zimmerman did this. It will not be a true Moebius strip but could well work.

Start to knit, placing a marker at the beginning of the round. If you are planning to use beads, you should place another marker midway through your stitches (so as to distinguish between the front and the back). Note that while you are knitting this it doesn’t matter which is which… just that half your stitches should be marked off as “front” and half as “back”.

Bead pattern:
I would encourage you to experiment with this. However, if you really want to go with mine, here it is (mine was done over 25 rows and 72 stitches – half of 144 for the total – for an approximate width of seven inches). You could use stitch markers to divide off your sequences. Mine was done over a nine stitch sequence and repeated eight times, knitting all rows – you could choose to knit, purl or alternate – up to you!):

Row 1: knit.
Row 2: place bead (PB) between 7th and 8th stitch; repeat
Row 3: PB between 6th and 7th stitch
Row 4: PB between 1st and 2nd stitch
Row 5: PB between 3rd and 4th stitch
Row 6: PB between 4th and 5th stitch
Row 7: PB between 5th and 6th stitch
Row 8: PB between 6th and 7th stitch
Row 9: PB between 2nd and 3rd stitch

Rows 10-12: knit (or purl) all rows

Rows 13-20: repeat Rows 2 through 9, but backwards. That is, start at Row 9 (which is now Row 13) and end at Row 2 (which is now Row 20).

Row 21: knit (or purl) one row.

(time to scrap the nine row repeat!)

Row 22: PB between 1st and second stitch and then every third stitch after
Row 23: PB between 2nd and 3rd stitch and then every third stitch to the end of your front piece
Row 24: PB between 3rd and 4th stitch and then every third stitch after

(this results in little left leaning diagonal slashes.

Row 25: Knit (or purl) one row.

After this (or after you’ve finished the number of rows you need to get the width you want!), it will be time to cast off.

FAQ: How do I place beads?
Simple! Knit to the stitch just before where you want to place the bead, then insert the needle into the back of the next stitch (k1b) and shove the bead right to the base of your working yarn.

Bring the yarn over the needle as you do when you are knitting without beads…

…then slip the stitch off the needle. Voila! (Oops – the photo for that one didn’t turn out. Oh well.)

If you’re purling, the same principles apply. Do not worry if the bead doesn’t look like it’s sitting normally. This will correct itself. I promise.

7. Cast off your Moebius then pick up stitches to knit the body of your top.
I recommend the applied i-cord castoff that Cat Bordhi favours (and displays very well with photos in the book at p. 28-29). The technique can also be seen here. It is a bit tedious to my view, but worth the result.

Put a removable stitch marker on the first stitch. This will form the centre front of your top.

Why a removable marker? I just want to save you the heartache that comes from your flinging stitch markers under the couch by accident in the deluded belief that the stitch marker will not go missing from the needles…

#$&*@#($*#@&$(*#$. I believe that the underside of my couch is Toronto’s biggest graveyard for stitch markers. I should note that I don’t really know, as I haven’t ever cleaned under the couch in some time. But I’m digressing.

Cat also describes how to pick up stitches beneath the i-cord (in the hat pattern at pp. 66-67). Pick up the stitches as if to knit on the right side, but inside the moebius itself. It doesn’t matter which side you select – trust me!).

The trick here – you only need to pick up HALF the bound off stitches (in my example, 144 instead of 288 – the Moebius technique results in your knitting double the amount of stitches in each round that you have cast on. All will make sense when you see the Book.). The other half will form the top opening.

Now, if you decide to try on the tube top at this point and find it to be loose and hanging down on the top, fret not. I did, and it wasn’t worth it. All will work out.

8. Knit the body of your top.

The number of rows you knit will depend upon how long you want the top.

First row: join work to knit in the round, marking the first stitch (which is at the centre and front). Knit to just before the last stitch in a round (that is, the stitch before the marker). Slip that stitch to your right needle, remove the marker, replace the stitch you just slipped to the left needle, then knit the next three stitches together – this decreases two stitches from your total. Place a removable marker on your right needle just before the resulting stitch (new first stitch of the round).

I did all of this to eliminate a little gap that had formed at the base of the moebius fold. If you need to repeat it on the second round (as I did), no problem. Just make sure you factor in the reduced stitch count.

After this, what you do is up to you, really! I had initially decided just to do a plain stockinette – and I still think that would look very good with the Moebius at the top. However, I had some beads left and so I elected to pay honour to Sivia Harding’s lovely River Rock scarf pattern with a similar pattern.

I used a 4×4 rib for the entire base. Beyond that, I don’t feel comfortable sharing how I placed the beads because it is very highly derivative of Sivia’s pattern (which I would recommend that anyone try – it’s in the No Sheep for You book or possibly available through her website. Check out her blog while you’re at it for some of the most beautiful lace patterns I’ve ever seen!).

The rib has the benefit of not needing any waist shaping (which I find to be a pain, although I like the end result enough to go for it).

All this to say – go wild and do whatever you want! It’s your top! A little flared “skirt” at the bottom would be lovely too – or cables – or whatever your little heart desires!

9. Come up with some straps for your top.

I would encourage creativity here… having said that, I kind of chickened out and went for
rather common or garden knitted straps.

I had actually thought about using a necktie to sew in some straps…

… but didn’t really have anything in the right colours (this was the closest. Must go to Goodwill soon!). JJ has one which would have been perrrfect, but I value my life and I don’t know what quality it would have if I took scissors to his favourite necktie!

Other ideas include:

– wide grosgrain ribbon
– i-cord
– x back knitted straps (check out the X-back Ribbon Tank on knitty.com for instructions).

I went with a 4×4 rib (like in the bottom of my piece) and placed one “bead rock” on each strap:

Oops – the photo is sideways! Oh well. You get the point, I’m sure.

Whichever method you choose, here’s a trick to figure out the correct length. If you’ve got someone to help you out, try on the top and hold up the Moebius to the point at which you want it to rise (or fall, depending upon your mood…!). Then get your friend to measure from point to point over your shoulders.

If you don’t have anyone to help you out, or are impatient to get it done… take said favourite bra, try on the top over it, and mark with safety pins where you want the top to fit. Then measure.

(You may have noticed that in both photos with the measuring tape I have measured from the end of the tape. I tell JJ that this is because I want to practice my maths skills. The real reason is that it came wound up like that, and I’m too lazy to rewind it all. Sigh).

Anyway, I then picked up stitches in the appropriate places and knit the straps on. To bind off, I picked up an inside stitch under the i-cord on the opposite side together with my live stitch and bound off that way.

10. Find your fanciest hat and go to town showing off your fabulous new top!
I hope this tutorial has been somewhat useful, or at least marginally amusing. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to drop me a line!

Cheers,

Kristina

PS. I do realise after the fact that this tutorial jumps from point 4 to point 6. I’ve made an editorial decision not to change it to the proper numbering as I think this boo-boo goes with the tone of the post… 🙂

a hard day’s work

Yesterday, I stayed in out of the thaw (because there is nothing I can’t stand more is being splashed by cell-phone wielding maniac SUV drivers on Bathurst Street. I swear they speed up deliberately in order to find a big puddle and splash me!!) and got quite a bit of knitting done.

First of all, a new top which I designed myself is FINISHED! This is part of the top in progress:

More pics to follow tomorrow – I need to get JJ to take one of me for once. I suspect I will look better in this top than Aphrodite, difficult as that may be to believe.

Next, I did a swatch for another design project – another top (man, I’m so original!!!)

The yarn is Ella Rae Silkience – lovely stuff (cotton/modal/silk/rayon blend). This sweatch is knitted on 3.75mm needles – the yarn actually calls for 4.5 – 5mm but I wanted a tighter fabric for my purpose.

I also did a few rows on the SOTSii. Photos will ensue once I have done some more work on it, probably today.

Then I started plotting a mosaic I have in mind: a self-portrait based on The Scream.

This isn’t working out all that well, actually. I think I’m taxing my artistic skills, and should probably just concentrate on reproducing the original. Besides, my model leaves to be desired:

Agh.

I also spent some time yesterday studying the culinary arts courtesy of the Toronto Public Library:

Have you seen Alton’s books? (I know Holly is a big fan). I find him a tad irritating on the Food Network but the books are quite amusing and also talk a lot about the science in preparing food, which I find interesting.

Having said that, it was a big mistake to bring the “Gear for your Kitchen” one into the house… or at least to look at it in JJs vicinity. He immediately seized upon it and started making a verbal list of all the kitchen gadgets we have (and do quite well without, if I do say so myself).

He then went to get a copy of our lease to find out if tub smokers were prohibited (answer: they’re not, as such, but I suspect that “no flammables” covers it. JJ, however, has a long history of not listening to my legal advice, usually to his peril).

I started to get a bit worried, and finally had to remind him that our covenant upon moving in together did not sound like this:

(His response? “Oh aye? And just hoo much does all that yarrrn that you keep sneaking in here thinking ah’m no’ lookin’ cost, anyway?” Good point.)

And finally, I tried to find some cover art for all those relationship/knitting books we were plotting away at earlier this week. Remember these?

– Living in Sin – Stylin’ Knits for Shackin’ Chicks – Divorce Knits – Reclaim your Style – Say No To Booties – Fashions for the Childfree.

Surely this must work for one of them:

I’ll use “Doghouse Knits” as a working title, I think… any other suggestions?

(And, by the way, I’ve been industrious, haven’t I?! Aren’t you impressed?!?)

Well, time to stop blatting on, and get JJ, also known as:
out of bed and out to Loblaws and the all-hallowed Store of Liquors to pick up the week’s provisions.

Happy Sunday!