Gentle Reader:

Well, today I feel a bit too Pollyannaish (Pollyanish?) for my liking, but touch wood my fortunes seem to have reversed since the gloom and doom that was Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

How so?

First: remember this?

(I should note that I incorrectly characterised this yesterday as a Moebius shoulder. It is actually a double twist shoulder. Or is that a triple axle? Why do I feel as though I’m watching figure skating?!)

…which I then turned into this with the creative use of some scissors (eek!) and some frogging?

Well, I’m pleased to announce that it has now morphed into this!

And I managed to finish the buttonband last night. (Note that Little Ms Type A came out hollering and screaming “You should be finished the whole thing by now, you lazy twit! But Doug McKenzie came along to save the day. He said:

“Take off, eh?”

And off she took, prissy little wench that it is.

Second: on Tuesday I went looking for this book at Big Box Small-Bookstore-Eating Starbucks-Pushing Conglomerate Chain Bookstore Which Shall Remain Nameless, while at the Eaton Centre (a place I completely detest, by the by. I think of it as the High Temple to the Almighty Dollar.).

Did they have it? Did they, hell, as JJ is wont to say. To add insult to injury, when I looked to see if any other stores carry it (because there are probably five thousand or so in the GTA) the screen said “ZERO available in Toronto”. Oh, come on!!

As far as I can tell, this chain specializes in carrying the million books that I do not wish to read, and none that I do.

Except, however, this one:

So I bought it. (insert hiss of cat o’ nine tails in the hair as I flog myself mercilessly on the back. I’m such a hypocrite.) It cheered me up immensely once I started to read it. Get a copy. And visit her blog, too.

Anyway, yesterday I had a brainstorm: why not call up Pages and see if they had gotten any in yet.

Yes! It came in the day before!!

So, after work, off I trotted merrily (and ajing jing jingling too, I think…) to Pages to snap up a copy. I also found this there:

It even has instructions for how to convert an old manual typewriter (remember typewriters? If not, you may be too young to read this blog!) into a computer keyboard. Very cool.

(Lest you wonder where Good Kristina is hiding herself during this spending spree, I should advise you that books do not count. They’re educational, after all.)

I then went back to the dreaded Eaton Centre to visit the Apple Store with my busted iPod that some wanker destroyed when splashing me with his/her SUV the other day. This visit contained an object lesson for me. I went in prepared for an argument (or at least a good rant) on the topic of “The thing breaks after nine months after being splashed with a little bit of water? It cost $160.00!!! Do you not think that is an extraordinary short life cycle, even by the shoddy standard of modern electronics?!?”

Instead, I was told that my warranty still covered it – and they gave me a new one! One would think that, as a lawyer, I keep receipts and documents for large purchases and would have known this before stewing about it for two days. One would be wrong, though.

(I feel compelled to say, however, that I find the Apple Store completely depressing. I remember going to the arcade when I was a kid – do they still have arcades, by the way? For half a roll of quarters you could amuse yourself for hours and hang out with other kids. It strikes me that the Apple Store is the 21st century version of the arcade… except that no-one is socialising and everyone is being sold big ticket items, including $300.00 [$300.00!!!] earphones for your iPod. Bang&Olaffson headphones, mind you.)

So, all’s well that ends well (touch wood).

And, today I’m taking this with me to ultra-boring legal seminar number 57 of the year:

Hee hee hee.

On the downside, it’s still “-7 C feels like -14 C”. Oh well. If life were perfect, it would be very, very boring indeed (or so I keep telling myself…)

And, you’ll be glad to know that the Encyclopaedia Britannica was first published on this day in 1738. (Do you think it has knitting patterns in it? Hmm…)

I remain,

yr humble servant, kristina

I have some good news and some bad news.

First, as is the custom, the good news: I finished (most of) the knitting on the Brioche Rib Vest cardigan (everything but the edging around the neck and armholes and the button band). I seamed the pieces together and made JJ model it:

Doesn’t he look like a taller version of Napoleon of France?

And look, Ma – it fits!

(even if “Ma” couldn’t take a photo to save her life…)

But wait a minute… let’s have a closer look at that right shoulder:

AGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!! %#$#@&$*(@&$(#*&$(@*#&(*$@&($*#!

I managed to turn the right shoulder into a Moebius strip! Although I love looking at Cat Bordhi’s work, it was not my intention to have it come out like this:

“Hmm, maybe JJ won’t notice,” I thought.

Then I heard:

“Honey, is the shoulder meant to be twisted like this?”

I tried to convince him it was a design feature. He wouldn’t buy it, though. Instead, he started to crack jokes about me getting distracted by watching Henry VIII (before he got super fat) and Anne Boleyn get busy on the season finale of The Tudors.

(Well, wouldn’t you get distracted too?)

This was no laughing matter, however. I may have mentioned that I have a bit of a temper. The vest nearly perished at my hands last night:

Then I thought better of this and decided, more rationally, to unpick the shoulder seam.

Well, guess what? This may be the only time in 25 years of knitting that I managed to sew a knitted piece together perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that I could not even locate the seam. I couldn’t believe it!

So, I had to take the scissors to it at any rate – to cut open the seam. Then I unravelled both sides back to the beginning of the shoulder shaping and reknit that. See?

Almost as good as new.

By this point it was well after 11:00 p.m. so I decided, in my usual level headed fashion, not to attempt to reseam the shoulder.

(I don’t seem to have good luck with cardigans for some reason. Some years back I knitted one for myself and went to assemble it, only to find that I had knitted two front right pieces. I did not fling it over the balcony – primarily because, at that point, I didn’t have one. Let’s just say it went missing a short time later.)

So, all’s well that ends well, I suppose. This evening, I hope to finish it altogether and maybe get a start on the Tilted Duster.

Happy Wednesday – and happy birthday to the late Walt Disney, who brought us Fantasia among many other great animations!

(Looks like the last time I tried to do housework. I can’t help it if the broom keeps walking away from me, can I?!?)

Well, time to finish my energy bar…

…don my coat and scarf:

… and head out into the world. Another day, another bunch of money for some more Handmaiden…

I found this cool webthing on Wannietta’s blog:

What Spice Are You?

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test

I got a kick out of this, and it’s pretty accurate too (aside from the “hooch” bit. I, of course, would never overindulge in alcohol. Not so’s I remember, anyway…)

The link is above if you want to try it out. There’s only about 10 questions or so in the quiz.

Cheers,

Kristina

I’m never sure whether to kiss or curse JJ for introducing me to TV culture as he sees it (before moving in with him, the only TV I watched was Law and Order reruns. I had actually lived for the first seven or eight years in Toronto without a TV set – and this before internet days!!! How did I amuse myself?! Don’t ask).

Because of his evil influence, I am watching way too much of the offerings on the House and Design channel. One of my favourite TV shows these days is How Not To Decorate – which features two really camp gay Scottish guys telling people off for their home design faux pas.

Last night I was watching Colin and Justin’s latest programme and hooting at the incredibly bad taste of yet another couple. JJ said to me, “You should take a look in the mirror at yourself.”

WHAT?!?!?!

KB: Well, I don’t know that they’d favour all of the piles of newspaper and old mail that you keep in the living room, but aside from that, what is wrong with the decor in this place?

JJ: Tek a luik around ye, lassie. The only nice things are the thing ye’ve made, and ye cannae enjoy them for the rest of the junk.

This exchange gave me sulking rights for the rest of the evening. But today when I got home from work I came to appreciate his point.

First, I went into the spare room to try to excavate tonight’s dinner from the deep freezer:

This is the Rowan’s All Seasons Cotton destined for my Tilted Duster.

JJ has a point. It does look a bit junky.

So – I replaced it all with this:

My latest yarn acquisition – some Needful Kim (cotton/acrylic) which I bought on Sunday because it was gloomy out and I thought some summer yarn would cheer me up. It worked.

As I left the spare room, I took a look at some of my art in the corridor leading back to the living room:

Well Known Trite Student Dig Art Piece No. 1; and

Slightly lesser known sister of Well Known Trite Student Dig Art Piece No. 1.

Hmm.

On to the living room:

Perrier Ad Mounted on Particleboard (acquired at the Goodwill Gallery for $5 about 10 years ago); and

Perrier Ad #2 Mounted on Particleboard (also acquired at the Goodwill Gallery for $5 about 10 years ago).

Hey! It’s a diptych!!! It must at least have doubled in value now, don’t you think? And I don’t think that the beige background colour is nicotine stain… is it?

And here are my artistic arrangements which are so lovingly displayed on the IKEA “Billy” bookshelf which I got free with an apartment about 12 years ago (is it true, by the way, that everyone in the western world has owned a “Billy” at some point? I have three):

Emergency wind-up radio, Betty Boop music box, valuable Greek antique wine set, personalised demitasse cups, yarn, antique candles, and reindeer. C. 2004.

Air Freshener #1, radio cord for stereo, Goodwill coffee cup/loonie holder for laundry, valuable tin soldier collection (JJs), CDs, cigarette packet, penny jar and important mail (c. 2004-2007); and

Stereo Speaker No. 1, brass telescope from Winners, Air Freshener No. 2 and Stereo Speaker No. 2 (c. 2004).

All extremely valuable items, no?

And, let’s not forget the ultra-rare Greek Antiquities Collection. Really, I should take some of this stuff on the trip to England and see if the British Museum wants to display it together with the Elgin Marbles!

Then again, maybe not.

It’s just lucky we don’t live in Quebec, where it is a criminal offence to keep a disorderly house.

I do hope, upon sober second thought, that Colin and Justin do not drop by (which well they might, given that they now stay in Toronto part-time and are from Glasgow like JJ – they probably know each other!). We’re probably too far gone even for their help.

JJ: Ah told ye so.

KB: Ah, shurrup, Jimmy!!!

It’s my blog, so of course I get the last word!

A terrific Tuesday to you all. And a very happy birthday to Ronnie Corbett, compatriot of JJs but much funnier than him (ducking to avoid TV remote sailing toward my head)…

Here’s what greeted me upon waking up this morning:

(Actually, that’s not actually what greeted me upon waking. Instead, I was treated to the dulcet tones of JJ swearing – not singing, mind you – in the shower about snow, tendency of the heating system in the uphill landway snaking out of our parking lot not to be turned on so that Mario, the superintendent can ensure his big end of year “I saved a bunch of operating costs” bonus from the landlord, etc. etc. – this at 4:45 in the morning, mind you.)

Here is the actual (annotated) forecast right now:

-4 °C (24.8 °F)
Light snow (…which will later become freezing rain, which will become treacherous. SIGH).
Feels Like: -13 °C (8.5 °F) (Yeah – thanks for that – -4 wasn’t cold enough?!?!?!)

Sunrise: 7:32
Sunset: 16:42

OK – that’s enough, I’m completely depressed. So much for my little trip to the Shoe Company this afternoon. I was too chicken to drive JJ to work to get the car. I am a big wimp when it comes to winter driving – mainly because I did not drive for the first 15 years or so I lived in Toronto.

So, who shall I blame for this nonsense??? Let’s check out the Environment Canada weather warnings: ah, great. Both a Winter Storm warning and a Freezing Rain warning!!! Sorry for the shouting below – blame the Ministry of the Environment, not me!

A MAJOR WINTER STORM FROM COLORADO IS MOVING OVER THE GREAT LAKES. THIS WINTER STORM HAS A LARGE AREA OF HEAVY SNOW AND FREEZING RAIN ASSOCIATED WITH IT EXTENDING FROM THE COLORADO AND NEBRASKA AREAS ALL THE WAY UP TO THE GREAT LAKES AND NORTHERN ONTARIO…

Blame America!!! Amy, tell your local weather guy in Tulsa to take that on my behalf, wouldja?

Do I feel better now? Not really.

Having said that, it gives me a good excuse to put in a bunch more work on JJ’s Brioche Rib Vest – I finished the back yesterday….

(nd it’s even been blocked as we speak. I really do impress myself sometimes. Funny how I almost never block stuff intended for myself, but do an impeccable blocking job on stuff intended for others…)

…and got a start on the front left side of the vest:

So if I’m forced to stay inside all day (although, come to think of it, I will have to venture out at some point for cigarettes. Damn and blast!!!), I might well make some progress on it. I would really like to be finished this by the middle of this week so that I can start on the Tilted Duster by Norah Gaughan.

And the laundry pile, which has reached brobdingnagian proportions?… well, maybe I can manage to get off my @$$ and at least sort it for hauling to the Wash ‘n Fold (I hate to think what that’s going to cost, but the prospect of joining the Sunday fray in the communal laundry room – especially since this month looks to be a dry month for scoring any leftovers from people’s moves – is offputting, to say the least).

I just hope I don’t get too distracted by a long-lost book I discovered while cleaning the spare room (!!! Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles!) yesterday. This is one of my all time favourites, as you might be able to tell by the title. I have consulted this book so much that it is literally falling apart. It is set up like a dictionary, with bizarre links and references everywhere (sound familiar?!), and is worth hours of entertainment as far as I’m concerned. Here’s an example:

Canada: Although no longer a part of British North America, it is clear that Canada retains a sense of decorum. It is illegal, in the streets of Winnipeg, to use a bow and arrow.

See also: Antarctica, beer, gerbil, pumpkin, saints, seaside.

???

Antarctica: The sourth circumpolar continent. One was to reach Antartica is to set off from Cape Beale in British Columbia, Canada and sail due south. But if you only want to go there to see the snow, you might as well stay in Canada. The city of Montreal spent $32 million in the winter of 1979 keeping the streets clear of snow.

See also: ice

Well, that makes sense…

Ice: Eighty per cent of all the ice in the world is in Antarctica. If all the ice in the world melted, the sea-level would increase to such an extent that the Empire State Building would be submerged up to the twentieth floor. People visiting floors up to the twentieth would probably also complain that the refrigerators were malfunctioning.

See what I mean? Hours of entertainment…

Oh, and what are the links to “Canada” and the other five “see also” items?

Beer: The consumption of beer in a privy, toilet or lavatory is forbidden in Manitoba, Canada.

(What fun is that?!?!)

Gerbil: The Canadians have a squad of gerbils trained to sniff out drugs in their gaols.

Hmm… I knew there was a reason I didn’t like gerbils!

Pumpkin: The world’s biggest pumpkin in 1982 had been Canadian, produced by Mr Howard Dill of Nova Scotia and weighing in at 493 1/2 lbs.

I love roasted pumpkin seeds! In Greece, they are called “passatempo” and sold in the streets in the autumn…

Saints: Saint Joseph is the patron saint of both Canada and Belgium. In the event of a dispute between these two nations, he is believed to favour a position of strict neutrality.

I didn’t even know that Canada had a patron saint! How bizarre…

Seaside: If you do like to be by the seaside, try Canada. It has the longest coastline of any country, six times that of Australia. Canada also has the world’s longest street, Yonge Street in Toronto. If you find yourself at the wrong end, you could be in for a walk of over 1,000 miles. Should you pass through Quebec on your way to and from Yonge Street, remember that it is illegal to sell antifreeze to the Indians there.

Enough!!! See what I mean – I can waste even more time reading this book than I can playing the computer backgammon game at work. And that is saying quite a bit indeed.

Happy Sunday – and stay warm! (and, if you’re from some balmy clime where it is 28 degrees celsius and sunny, keep that information to yourself, please!).

Today marks the first day of the Greek Civil War between Communists and Royalists, in 1948. There is a very interesting (and depressing) book about this by Nicholas Gage called “Eleni”, which was made into a movie starring Kate Nelligan… a Canadian.

Why did I have to find that $#*(@@)( book, anyway?!?

Look!!!! UFOs (the ones with aliens, not the ones with yarn and sometimes needles attached which you might find stuffed into the back of the closet if you’re like me) have descended upon Toronto!!! The Group of Seven just came in on those, I swear to you (the large one must be the Mother Ship).

Er… I’m jesting, really. This is my (extremely lame, even worse than usual!) attempt to photograph the buttons I bought yesterday for JJ’s cardigan in progress. I won’t show you the photo taken without the flash because it looks like mouse dung (and, having lived in 15 apartments in Toronto since I moved here 16 years ago, I have a really good sense of what that looks like!).

Now for some (slightly) better photos: my Mason-Dixon Knitting Miniature Series. (a.k.a. the Group of Seven. I really hope I don’t get visited by seven irate male paint stained ghosts during my sleep…).

It was originally supposed to be the Group of Nine but my ADHD kicked in even sooner than usual.

All of the below were knitted using Svale Stork fingering cotton (lovely stuff, highly recommended!) and 2.5 mm doublepointed bamboo needles (no casualties – yippee!). They were then mounted on little 4″x4″ canvases. JJ will be earning his dinner tomorrow evening by putting them up during the day while I’m at work.

And here they are in clockwise order from the top right corner (how organized am I?!?)

1. Baby Nina Shawl
This is the my original modification of it – my mother’s Christmas present last year.

2. Baby Baby Moderne

Here is my full-size version of this blankie (knitted with Bernat Handicrafter yarn sometime in mid-late 2006):

I’m not big on the colours (aside from the red) but they were what were plentiful (at Zellers) and cheap. This was my first blanket and I didn’t know if I’d go the whole distance, so didn’t want to shell out big cash.

3. Baby Curve of Pursuit

This is an absolutely wonderful pattern by Pat Ashforth of Woolly Thoughts. I truly believe that everyone should try knitting one of her afghan patterns at least once. There are dozens to choose from!

This is my Baby Curve right smack dab in the centre of my large Curve.
4. Ballband Warshcloth

I have never knitted a real warshcloth. Until I knit this one, I had been firm that I never, ever would (never say never!) However, as you may recall I’ve done two high-falutin’ artistic versions: A Woman’s Work no. 1 and A Woman’s Work… #2.

5. Baby Baby Kimono

Again, I’ve never knit the full-sized version. I’m not around babies all that much – well, never. Probably a very lucky thing for them.

6. Circle of Fun

Here is the mini-version of this lovely rug.
I haven’t made it full size – although one day I think I will (I would use Brown Sheep Burly spun or Bulky rather than anything else doubled). However, I did adapt the centre pattern for my Pinwheel Blankie.
This poor blankie was cut down (or bleached) in the prime of its life by some chickenhead who lives in this building and believes it’s a good idea to put an entire bottle of Javex in during the wash cycle. I got that washing machine immediately after (and there were quite a few more casulaties, trust me). A pox on his/her head!!!

And, finally (in my inimitable “couldn’t take a good photo to save my life” fashion – this time I’m blaming the fact that it is dark these days both when I leave work and when I come home):

7. A baby log cabin square

The true colours are something between this:
…and this:

This was my first stab at this concept:

(It has been gifted to Holly Ogre together with some Smarties and Terry’s chocolate orange. Maybe if Holly’s feeling nice today she’ll post a comment linking you to the photo of the full-size version on her blog…)

… and this was my second stab at it (with Fleece Artist Curlilocks and wool slub from one of their afghan kits. I got sick of the yarnovers.)

So, that’s all, folks!!!

Oh, not quite (you didn’t think I was going to let you off the hook that easily, did you?) I know you’ll be shocked, but I did end up going back to the LYS today and acquiring the lemon yellow Super 10…

… and some in a lovely fuschia/purply colour besides. It was on deep discount, so I actually saved money!!! (yes, keep talking, Evil Kristina…).

And, in parting, I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to learn that today marks the 17th anniversary of the resignation of the Iron Lady (now Baroness Thatcher) as Prime Minister of Britain. I’ve decided that when I grow up, I want to be a Baroness too…”Baroness Brouhaha” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Well, my big culinary excitement yesterday was that I tried out a new macaroni and cheese recipe (not from either of the Presto or Romerhopf cookbooks, mind you!). It seemed a big hit with the other member of the household.

Almost, anyway…
This was JJ’s plate after finishing dinner. (don’t you love our placemats, by the way! How Martha!)

What is up with that? He couldn’t choke down that one last piece of macaroni? I mean, was he going to turn into Mr. Creosote and explode??

So, of course, I couldn’t leave this alone…

KB: What was wrong with the dinner? Why couldn’t you finish it? Did you eat too much of that fudge and spoil your appetite?! I knew I should have hidden it.

JJ: Er….

KB: I mean, you’re always telling me that you want plainer, more British food. So what do I do? I make you macaroni and cheese. How much plainer can you get?!? And homemade – too – not that frozen stuff from the President. There was not even one herb or spice in it. I had to force myself to leave the vat of oregano alone, and doctor up my own after, which doesn’t taste as good. And, how do you thank me? By leaving some. You can’t even be bothered finishing one last little piece. Next time, you’re getting KD!!!

JJ: I dropped that piece on the floor. That’s why I didn’t eat it

KB: (pause, thinking “Hmm….”)

KB: Are you suggesting that the floor in this place is so dirty that you couldn’t eat that piece of macaroni for fear of some dire kind of disease?

JJ: Well… no, but it had a bunch of that fluff from that yarn you keep flinging around here – and how do I know there wasn’t a little shard of stained glass like the one I stepped on the other day?

Hmm. Good points.

Today is Saturday, with the whole day lying ahead of me. What shall I do? Not particularly a great day to go for a walk… Hmph.

I think I’ll practice my dance routine.

That should wake JJ up…too bad I don’t have a set of conga drums, though. New Year’s present? Hmm…

Then maybe I can con him into a trip to Michaels… given the weather it might be time for him to change the door decoration! And then of course to the Irish pub next to Michael’s…

Or, I could always work on some freeform.

Yes, yes, I’m a shameless self-promoter… if you clicked the above link you’ll see that I managed to get another article published on WhipUp! It is surely only a matter of time before I become a world-renowned novelist or craft doyenne holding court on the House and Garden Channel.

(What would that show be called, anyway? Hmm. “How Not To Clean”?)

Time to plan the day’s activities. Happy Saturday! Today, it should be noted, marks the 60th anniversary of the Red Scare. Seems these days the only offensive behaviour Hollywoodites are accused of is drunken driving and shameless displays of wanton excess. Progress?

(drumroll please…)

First, some news: Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I had another article published on WhipUp –Check it out!

Sir John, Eh? proudly presents:
The Mason Dixon Knitting Baby Kimono – baby baby size (1.75″ waist and 2″ height)

And… a mini warshcloth!!

Both knit with Svale Stork fingering cotton on 2.5mm needles. Part of an art series on miniatures…the Baby Curve of Pursuit was the first.

And now onto the main topic for today:

Does anyone remember these… the German equivalent of “Martha Stewart meets Weight Watchers” cookware?

Another great find at the workplace lending library! I do not own one of these contraptions, but when did that ever stop me before?

It must be soaked in water for 15 minutes before using. Hmm. Does this mean it doesn’t have to be soaked after using? I can certainly live with that!

However, it’s possible I’m missing something in the translation. This book was originally written in 1971 in German. Alas, no photos save those on the front and back covers:

Several versions of the Romertopf cooking vessel on display here. The differing sizes, I get… but why a separate one for fish? I’m confused.

Unfortunately, the “authoress” (“authorina”?), Wendy Philipson (a good German name?) does not shed any light on this dilemma. She was actually charged with adapting the German version into English – and so got to try out all the recipes in the book, which, according to her, has “certainly provided a pleasing addition in contrast to the spheres of German-English interest in which I am normally occupied.”

From perusing the cookbook selections, it would appear that the “spheres of German-English interest” revolve around massive quantities of this ingredient:

Perhaps that’s why they don’t include a photo of the authoress. It is only a pocket-sized book and, given mass consumption of sour cream (because I don’t think that light sour cream existed in that day), her photo might not actually fit!

Aside from copious usage of sour cream, the book offers lots of helpful tips on cooking meat, as well as other topics:

(a) Taking responsibility for one’s actions

… even a Romertopf can’t make poor quality old flabby beef taste like young, fresh meat! So, don’t blame the Romertopf unjustifiably if the meat is old and tough!

They must have edited out “…you stingy jack@$ you!” And just when I was ready to toss the Romertopf off the balcony, too!

(b) Eating Healthily

Cooked in the Romertopf, pork is less fatty and therefore more digestible – and contains fewer calories – but it is nevertheless deliciously tender. Try some of our recipes and see for yourself!

A query – where does all this fat end up going, then? Soaking through the terra cotta?

(c) Dieting

This being the early 70s, there is a lot of information for “slimmers” in this book.
About 1/3 of the recipes are followed by the admonishment “NOT FOR SLIMMERS”!!! (Sometimes, qualified with “Unfortunately…” before it.) If you happen to be watching your weight, you should know that all the knuckle dishes (knuckle of beef, knuckle of pork, etc.) are good for you – unless, perhaps, you eat the knucklebones?

It is difficult, however, to see why some of the recipes are evil and others aren’t. For example, a French Liver Pie with streaky bacon, 1 c. cream, 1 c. sour cream, puff pastry and butter is apparently OK, while the Sweet and Sour Pork made with 1 T cornstarch, pineapple and chicken stock is verboten for dieters. I mean, they didn’t have this stuff around then, did they?

But then again, I’m forgetting that those were the days when carbohydrates of any kind were considered food sent by the devil to plague people – one slice of bread was good for at least 5 lbs on the hips or so the logic went. Thus, a recipe for Chinese Steamed Fish that says “Excellent for slimmers – WITHOUT RICE”. I guess that’s why all those Chinese people are such porkers, while the Germans are so svelte by comparison:

(d) Vegetarian Living

Speaking of pork (I know – odd segue, but bear with me) – this book even has a vegetarian section. How exciting – I have a lot of vegetarian friends and so am always looking for interesting dishes.

Here are some of the choices under the “Vegetarian” category:

– red cabbage with streaky bacon
– stuffed tomatoes with streaky bacon
– Portuguese beans with streaky bacon
– chicory rolled in ham
– mushrooms with bacon
– stuffed cabbage leaves with minced pork

I must say that I do learn something new every day. I hadn’t realised that up until 1972 or so, pigs were considered to be vegetables. I wonder if I can con my veggie friends into chowing down on some pork: “I know you think you can’t eat it, but the Romertopf cookbook says it’s vegetarian… see?!”

There’s even a recipe for moussaka – with meat!

And – finally, desserts – I guess this is why you would want to have more than one Romertopf hanging around the house – it wouldn’t do to cook your dessert in the same vessel you just used to cook your Knuckle of Veal with Sour Cream and Butter (NOT SUITABLE FOR SLIMMERS!).

In order to intensify the dietary message here, the “slimmer” messages start to vary:

– not suitable for anyone wishing to stay slim!
– not for anyone who wants to lose weight!
– not for weight-watchers!
– not suitable for anyone on a slimming diet!

DUH. And, I’m trying to figure out why one would go to all the trouble to soak this huge heavy dish for 15 minutes just to make flambeed bananas that you could do in a frying pan in about 10 minutes! Also, I’m not sure which dish you would use for “dessert” – the fish one or the meat one?

I’m so confused. I guess I’m just not cut out to become a Romertopf housewife. SIGH. Life is full of disappointments, isn’t it?

But then again, today marks the 44th anniversary of the debut of Doctor Who on television. So, with every cloud it’s possible to find a silver lining…

Happy Friday!

Hi all:

When last we met with our intrepid heroine (to wit, me) she was on her way to work and was just about to cross Spadina. But you must bear with me for a brief craftual pause.

She then mysteriously got transported to The 49th Dimension, where she was able to finish (finally!) this blanket:

Another stashbusting project – the Ugly Argyle Repurposed Sweater Blankie. It started life as an argyle sweater in progress. An argyle sweater, mind you, with entrelace seed stitch and stockingnette stitch panels. What the hell was I thinking! I hated this knit from minute one – to top it off for some reason it ended up looking like about five sizes too big… so I shoved it into a box where it stayed lo these many years (at least five or six).

I rediscovered it recently, and decided to start a log cabin border. This got tiresome very quickly so I decided to crochet the rest instead. Finished size approximately 36″x36}! I can’t remember what brand of yarn it was – probably Zellers Finest 100% acrylic. The crocheted part is formed of various worsted weight half-balls of wool, cotton, etc from the stash. I don’t remember who came up with the pattern.

But where was I? Oh yeah – at Spadina and King. So, I continued along my less than merry way to work – wearing my magic newsboy cap!Extra, extra – read all about it!!

Stop digressing, Kristina! SIGH. When crossing Spadina westward toward my office, this is the first thing I see:

Another ad for a proposed condo building. Quelle surprise. What a high falutin’ name for a condo complex, though….

But check out the young woman in the ad sipping her latte! She surely has no recollection of the days of austerity heralded by the “V sign” (neither do I, mind you, but I can read a history book…). Lady – are you looking for a condo here? If so, all those soldiers fighting all those wars have finally made it possible for you to enjoy the lifestyle you’d like to become accustomed to in a unit half the size of this guy’s suit closet:

You’ve come a long way, baby!!!

But hark – I see my office!!!

Oops, wrong office. That would be the “one Friday afternoon every month boardroom” where the tenant advocates meet and discuss highly pressing and sensitive legal issues…

The tenant advocates used to have a different boardroom on the odd Friday afternoon. It was a pub known as Toad in the Hole, and featured a pool table, dart boards, and a quiet, nicely shabby ambiance that spoke of many pleasures past. Now it looks like this:

A condo development in waiting, no doubt.

This stretch of King Street West is a part of our fair city in transition. Thus, you see neighbourhood one-of-a-kind businesses like this:

… within 1/2 block of high falutin’ chain shops like this:

If you’re looking for a leather jacket, you can probably save yourself $500 by picking one of them. Guess which one?

Having said that, Perfect Leather does not feature these photos of fabulous people with (presumably) very fancy lifestyles in its windows:

I imagine they’re all set to move into the Victory condos when they get built three years from now.

(And yes, this is the same place as the Hide House. It used to be called Acton Leather and the first shop was in Acton, Ontario, a sleepy little place northwest of Toronto. Someone must have clued them in along the way that in order to have credibility in Condoland one must rid oneself of any homey type names. But they forgot to remove the logos on the side of the store… which is next door to a Cooper Mini dealership, by the by.)

This “gentrification” (but I prefer the term “condofication” in this area of town, at least) has also affected the character of coffee joints in my work ‘hood. In this regard, I’m reminded of one of JJs favourite tunes, Loch Lomond (as performed by Runrig – and highly recommended they are by me as well!). To paraphrase:

Ye’ll take the high road…

… and ah’ll tek the low…

… and ah’ll be a’ the Smoke Shop afore ye!

(wi’ an extra loonie or so which will pay for mah mid mornin’ Diet Coke…)
Guess which coffee shop I frequent?

And, here is another (welcome, to me, anyway) sign that this neighbourhood still retains its less than salubrious characteristics:

A peeler bar!!!

(Ahem, excuse me, a very high end “gentlemen’s club”… just ask the Toronto police officer who had recently been alleged of assaulting a dancer there and threatening her with a gun. He had a good reason to be there, mind you. According to both him and his lawyer, they carry delicious chicken wings. I’ll never find out, given the $10 cover and $10.00 per bottle of beer… so who am I to judge? The judge and jury must enjoy wings – he was acquitted yesterday.)

Having said that, I see they have an apartment for rent above the club – maybe I should consider moving closer to work!

Then again, maybe not. I only hope that when I return to my Duty Counsel (aka Lawyer of Last Resort) gig at the Landlord and Tenant Board next year that I do not actually wind up seeing the tenant who actually takes this apartment there for an eviction hearing. Here is my speculation on how that conversation would go:

Kristina: So, the landlord says you owe $3,000 rent. Do you?

Tenant: Well, yes… but…

Evil Kristina: But me no buts!!!

Tenant: Eh?

Kristina: Oh, never mind. Why did you fall behind in the rent?

Tenant: Well, there’s way too much noise there. The music goes on until four in the morning. I can’t sleep. The landlord doesn’t care. So, in fact, I don’t owe anything at all. My only question is, do I have to pay the $150 filing fee for the landlord’s application?

Kristina: Well, it’s not as simple as that….(while Evil Kristina whispers, nay… shouts!… “You moved in above a strip club! What the #)($*@#)$(*@)#$(@#* do you expect?!?!?!?”…

And so forth for another 20 minutes or so.

Anyway, time to get to work. I think I’ve mentioned that, being a very important legal researcher at present controlling lots of highly confidential information, I work in a very high security environment. Even the kitchen is a locked fortress!!

I managed to remember the code to get in (no small feat as it is different from the code to the main entrance… how do you think I keep my girlish figure???) – only to find this on the whiteboard:

Not only had it not been erased since Hallowe’en when the original tribute to my Hallowe’en costume was posted, but there have been embellishments! As you can see, I was so touched that my hands were trembling when I took the above photo. I tried again and got this detail shot:

Hmm. Do you think that this is actually a tribute, or a passive aggressive comment by an anonymous co-worker on my lunacy?

Well, it was then time to stop the analysis and get to work. Off to the Inner Sanctum:

(This sign actually should read “ATTENTION!!!! DO NOT POUND ON THE DOOR MULTIPLE TIMES AS IT DISRUPTS AND FRIGHTENS THE SUPPORT STAFF. YOU WILL BE MADE TO SUFFER VERY DRASTIC AND UNSPEAKABLE TORTURES IF YOU DO NOT SIMPLY RING THIS BELL (ONCE ONLY, PLEASE) INSTEAD” for all the effect the current version of the sign has. Sometimes we Canajans are just way too polite).

By some miracle I remembered the code and got in. And, I can’t help but breach our high-level security protocols to give you a peek as to the sign you first see when coming into the office:

NB: for those people south of the 49th or across the Atlantic or Pacific, “L.L.B.O.” is Canajan for “Booze Sold Here”. I think it’s some weird holdback from the days of the British Empire…)

And now you know the real reason that I love coming to work every day!!!

In signing off, here is another picture of the Cabled Newsboy Cap I made a couple of years back (and as you will see, it’s not really sepia coloured, although sometimes I certainly look to be so!)I can’t remember what brand of wool it was – something soft and non-scratchy. Pattern found in one of the Debbie Stoller books. It was fun and quick to knit.

Oh – and happy birthday, Jamie Lee Curtis! Doesn’t she look fab! She doesn’t need a newsboy cap to cover her rat’s nest… er, hair.

For those of you who don’t know me, I live, work and craft in Toronto (not necessarily in that order). This makes me either a Torontonian or a Tranian. Of late, however, I’ve been wondering if this should be changed to “Condolander”.

Why? It takes about ten to fifteen minutes for me to walk from the St. Andrew (the Scots are everywhere!!!) subway station to my office along King Street West. I forgot both my iPod and my crochet when coming to work yesterday – so had to entertain myself in other ways (the fellow commuters did not seem to appreciate my dancing as much as they usually do. Maybe it was the singing…).

By the time I stopped trying to play “human iPod with surround sound speaker system” and started paying attention, this was the first thing I saw en route:

Ah. And just when I had managed to forget I was in Toronto….

But what is this next to it? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No – but it shares a name with a bird and rhymes with “crane”. I’ll spare you the guesswork as to my tortured mind. It is a crane (of the sort used for construction).

Don’t tell me they’re turning the CN Tower into condominiums!!!! Sigh. It was only a matter of time, I suppose. After all, this part of town is prime Condoland.

The Toronto area has 249 projects currently being marketed or in the construction stage, representing 58,000 units, making the city the largest condo site in North America, according to consulting research firm Urbanation.

– “Condo Sales Booming”, Toronto Star, 15 November 2007 (Tony Wong, reporter)

Moving right along: when I was a young wee impressionable lassie living in Kingston, Ontario (home of more penitentiaries than any other city in Canada, by the way! and before you ask, I am not an escapee!), I looked so forward to moving to Toronto as I had heard the streets there were paved with gold.

Imagine my surprise and consternation to learn that this was all a pack of lies. Instead, the streets in Toronto are paved with…

Granite.

And, on this topic, can anyone explain to me this “Hall of Fame” phenomenon that leads to enshrining your name and signature for all eternity… on the sidewalk? For my part, when I am rich and famous I assume they will be erecting a big shrine in my honour… not some tatty stone in the ground that looks like those tombstones people buy when they can’t afford to (or otherwise don’t want to) shell out tens of thousands for an upright monument.

I mean, when did these movie stars all get together and decide “I want my name immortalised on the sidewalk in front of some theatre in Toronto so that everyone can step all over it and throw their cigarette butts and garbage on top of my signature”? I don’t get it.

Having said that, I was glad to see one of my favourite comedy troupes commemorated.

SCTV – home of Bob and Doug McKenzie!!. I do hope I haven’t stepped on them before, eh? I’m such a hosehead that I’m sure I probably have…

Anyway, it’s about time to pull in for some fuel. Shall I go here?

… or here?

I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to see a hot dog/sausage stand that is open at 8:00 a.m. Toronto rawks!!

Here is the all-hallowed Metro Hall.

And, in classic Toronto heavy-handed symbolic style, the hot dog cart is located right in front of Metro Hall, where our municipal politicians work (sic?) so hard to keep Toronto the Good going.

Some of them work (sic?) there, anyway – others are banished to another building up on Queen Street West which, just to make things simple, is referred to as City Hall:

Ah, that 70s architecture. Bet you didn’t know that there were aliens in Toronto! I wonder if they only send the green politicians there… heh heh heh.

I should hope, however, that none of our City Fathers have been banished to Toronto’s Old City Hall.

But, from the look of things down at Metro Hall, perhaps they are intended victims of crime instead?

And – would that be so surprising, really?

Here is the view from the Metro Hall corner:

Another blasted condo development project. I get very depressed every time I see it. I often attend work trainings at Metro Hall (because they give free space and I work for Legal Aid) and have fond memories of staring out the window at the Duke of Argyle pub with the big Keith’s banner (“Reluctantly exported from Nova Scotia”) – a beacon of light and a place to drag the colleagues after the session for the true educational component – beer, deep fried pepperoni and gossip. Here is the pub sign, already partially hidden by the construction:

Sob.

Right in front of this condo development is this sign:

As usual, my photography skills are sorely lacking (I was balancing a cup of Tim’s Finest at the time. Skipped the street meat cart). The first word, you’ve likely gathered, is meant to be “Transforming”.

Well, some of the scenery along this particular stroll certainly transforms the way I see life in Toronto these days…

… and not for the better, I might add.

(And, another (possibly stupid) question of the sort that keeps me awake at night: is there any logic in renaming a street in a major Canadian street after a baseball team?

How ’bout them Leafs, eh??)

But I digress. Here are some more shots of the awe-inspiring transformation of my city:

(Who is moving into all of these places anyway? I keep seeing in the news that every time they open sales for a new condo complex, they have to limit it to three units or less for purchases. I am a lawyer and I live with a well-paid pensioner who also continues working, and we can’t afford one, let along four!!)

And an out-and-out eyesore:

A condo sales office! In case you’re wondering what “M5Vlife” might mean – join the club. “M5V”, however, is the postal code signifier for this area. A postal code life. My father, who spent his life going ballistic whenever anyone made the mistake of asking for his postal code (because he came from a place where you could just put the person’s name and town on an envelope and it would reach the intended recipient – after, of course, the rest of the villagers had passed it around…) would not be best pleased.

So, what are the hallmarks of a “postal code life”? Apparently, according to the colourful ads, the following:

(a) Iconoclasm

“They’re not really all 500 square foot cubes – some are 800 square feet! And – you can pick either beige or off-beige or white plaster on the drywall!!!”

(a) Green and Clean Living

On a blue background, no less. Are they worried about being dinged for false advertising? Judging from the depth of the hole in which the carpark will be located, they probably should be. Unless, of course, that hole is actually going to house the movie theatre and ballroom…

They have a blog!!! I’m not going to link it as I don’t want any competition… but this will give you some idea of the prices:

M10A – 1BD+Den (747sf)

M22A – 1BD+Den (696sf)

M22B – Studio (411sf)

Your opportunity to be the first to buy at King West’s Best Designed and Best Valued Condominium! Prices starting from the low $200’s [emphasis added]!

$205,000 (just to pick a number – what’s a few thou between friends?!) for 411 square feet? Why not just rent a storage locker – $100/month and you can rent another one next door to stash all your craft gear!!!

And here’s another one I passed just down the way:

The portion to the left resembles the last slum apartment building I was in to try to organize the tenants – except I think in that building the units were bigger.

People who pass by “glas” houses shouldn’t throw stones, I suppose. Or, is that “people who live in glass houses? At $200,000 for 400 sq ft. I won’t be living in one any time soon – so, I’m good.

And finally, I reach King and Spadina, which brings to an end the first leg of my work-bound tour.

The photo was taken looking south on Spadina from the southeast corner of King. More cranes and new buildings.

This photo will give you an idea of how this intersection looked a century ago (although it is taken at Queen Street, 1 block north, looking south onto Spadina):

And to think that only 30 years or so before that photo was taken (in 1877, to be exact), Thomas Edison announced his invention of the phonograph!!!

Ah, progress. Without it, you wouldn’t even be reading this rant (if you’re made it this far, that is). But it’s a double-edged sword.