I have a new career plan!!

Now, I’d like to be creative enough to be a sensitive (and famous and best selling) poet so that I can earn lots of bucks and move across the ravine into one of these houses…

Well, let’s see – here’s a little something I drafted during the last work website reconfiguration meeting (a.k.a. Lawyers vs. IT Guys):

Clashing auras
a black cloud
pierced by mammoth
Computeregos
I am choking but
the funky purple light
glowing forth from
the projector of confusion
& doom
soothes me

Climbing within my
electric mauve cocoon
I retreat,
voices mumbling over me…

Hmm. Better not give up my day job.

… but at least I have a fancy door decoration, courtesy of JJ. With, of course, a scottish theme:

I wonder if Colin and Justin would approve? (They are two favourite TV designers of JJs. Check out the bottom half of the photo and ye’ll see why!)

They just did a TV show in the Toronto area…

Well, time to get back to the day job now, I guess. Happy Wednesday! (I LOVE four day weeks!)

That’s only because somehow I managed to finish off my Secret of the Stole II, Clue 5! And on Monday to boot!

She looks not half bad, eh?

I believe this is now knitted up to the midpoint. Approximate length = 32″.

And lest you think that I spent all my time on this accomplishment, please be advised that I also tidied up the house:
More specifically, I took out the recyling. Both mine:

..and JJs.

Oh, by the way, do you think it’s time to get a new bundle buggy?!

I truly amaze myself sometimes. I think nothing of going to the yarn store on a regular basis so that I can hoard massive amounts of Handmaiden:
(well, sometimes I do actually knit with the stuff) but I will not shell out $25.00 for a new bundle buggy and have had to tie the back to the side pieces with knitting yarn.

A matter of skewed priorities? I don’t think so when I look at this:

Another little lace scarf in progress. This one is adapted from a pattern distributed by Fleece Artist called “Storm Water Scarf”. A bit easier than the SOTSii!!!

Well, time to starting thinking about heading to work now. (yawn!) After all, I should make a trip to the hardware store first

I wonder if I’ll find any of these duct tape roses when I get there!

Man ailve. I think I’ve seen it all now. Red Green, pictured above, has nothing on me!

Yes, you heard me right: RAIN. And I thought I had it bad when it was snowing!!!

I had yesterday to step out to pick up some drastically needed essentials:

So I went out to the balcony to check whether the storm they have been threatening all week had hit yet:

Much to my surprise, it was pouring rain. Also, the rats with wings had made another visit during the night.

(No, this one wasn’t by me – it was by Julie Jackson. A needlepoint sampler for every occasion. Gotta love it!)

Now, I’m had it up to here with all the storm advisories: Winter Storm advisory (it’s winter, there’s going to be a storm: was it going to be a $#*&@($@#& SUMMER storm?!?), Wind advisory, Windchill advisory, Smog advisory, etc. etc. etc.

And with all of these they missed the most important car:

Getting Splashed by Wanker Motorists on Bathurst Street advisory!

I swear that some of these people deliberately accellerate and move as far right as possible in the lane so as to splash me when walking by… especially those ones with SUVs. (When you buy an SUV to drive around in Toronto, do they give you a crown and sceptre as well, by the way?).

Should you ever hear on the news about a woman who had a complete breakdown and started carrying a five gallon bucket of bright blue paint to work with her in the morning, flinging it at errant SUVs in rainy weather and screaming “How do YOU like being splashed? Huh?? Huh??…

…would you send me a postcard c/o the Don Jail?

Anyway, by the time I got to the smoke shop I was totally soaked. So, in addition to the essentials, I had to buy some comfort food:

…but even eating it all upn my return to the homestead didn’t make me feel any better.

Then JJ looked up from his programme on dinosaurs, and spake:

Good call.

So I started to become productive. Illigitimi non carborundum, and all that.

I finished 14 more rows on the SOTSii:

.

I then, for reasons unknown to me, decided to join Facebook – having said I wouldn’t. From the look of it, I was the last holdout in Toronto! What potential for colossal time wasting! I did upload a bunch of pics there, though… if you’re on it, come on by – I’m under Kristina Brouhaha.

I then finished off what was left of two pieces of my Bespoke!

The sleeve (to the left) was almost wholly knitted in public (except for the sleeve cap). And check out the fancy lapel:

I must confess I’m getting a tad bored with the pattern, although I do like the linen stitch:

So, today’s plans include a push on the SOTSii in the vain hopes of finishing Clue No. 5. Not to mention that the house needs tidied up. Sigh.

Happy Monday and happy holiday for those who actually have one today!

Well, colour me surprised! JJ took me to Birks yesterday…!

(Now, I was aware that there was a surprise gift in the works. However, given JJ’s usual predilections and obsessions when trying to help me organize my life, I was actually expecting a trip to Grand and Toy to acquire either a shredder or a computer printer – the latter which I keep avoiding as there’s nothing wrong with the one at work. JJ doesn’t get why I spend $$$ on yarn but refuse to buy a computer printer. To me the selection is entirely logical, obviously.)

(No, that’s not what he got me. I really should refrain from tacky “cheap Scots” jokes when the Scot in question has just taken me to Birks. Sigh.)

He had researched on the internet (I can’t tell you how shocked I was to hear this! JJ had never used a computer until two years ago when he started at his current job and he has led me to believe that his computer skills are limited to Spider Solitaire and finding everywhere he has ever lived on Google Earth!) and seen this ring which he thought to be right up my alley:

Well, he was right – and it is now in my possession!

The new acquisition inspired me to hunt through all my other forgotten valuables…

This is a “rose ring” that I got at Made You Look, a very cool artisan guild shop in Parkdale.

This one, I bought at the Art Gallery of Ontario many years ago… I still love it but it is a bit clunky for everyday wear:

Here are a couple of watch keychains my mother has picked me up over the years…

I carried this one on my clipboard back in my Eviction Factory days for those times that I forgot my watch. I’m surprised it still exists given that several landlord reps and a couple of mediators took a strong liking to it!

And this one?
It’s a bit creepy, isn’t it. I imagine that my mother picked it up because of the alternative significance in the Greek culture: extending your palm like this to a Greek is the rough equivalent of giving them the finger ten times or so. Don’t do it if you’re in Greece – ever.

Which reminds me of this for some reason:

A cigarette case a friend bought me, probably in a vain attemptto get me to limit my smoking (it only holds eight or so cigarettes – in other words, a two hour supply or so. Sigh.). When I have business cards, I use it as a business card holder.

Sorry – that was a gratuitous photo of my new gift!! I’m so excited! Don’t you love the sparkly topaz?

This is the only remaining part of the first gift JJ ever bought me:

It is a hammer for smashing toffee! (which was gone within about 15 minutes of him giving it to me, after I ran around the office terrorising my coworkers and a few tenants with the hammer…).

This is something I was given by my father, which was one of three similar pieces made from his father’s wedding ring which was melted down for the purpose after he died:

Imagine the size of the ring! I love this but don’t wear it because I’m not religious. It is meant to be Christ on the cross. Having said that, when I have worn it in past people seem to think that it is Medusa. Hmm. Maybe I should start wearing it again!

These are coins I have been saving… I intend to go to Made You Look and see how much it would cost to get them set into pendants.

I just acquired this one in the UK. It is a commemorative coin regarding the 350th anniversary of the publication of Samuel Johnson’s dictionary in 1755, and appeals to my nerdy word-monster sensibilities.

And this is an example of money which is now obsolete, having been taken over by the Euro:

The Greek drachma was the oldest currency in history until about five years ago when the Euro took over. I find this rather sad for some reason.

Now, I’m sure that the one I have is worth nowhere near as much as this one:
450 BC!!! But look who was still on the coin in 1926!

You might well ask “What is with the smug expression, anyway?”. But only if you don’t know any Greek men… Gotta love the goofy helmets though, eh?

And finally, one of my most treasured possessions:

This serves as a reminder today to seize opportunities when they come up. A free bag of Doritos, never to be enjoyed by me! Sigh.

Happy Sunday! Time to get back to some knitting… despite my excitement yesterday, I managed to finish 20 rows of the Secret of the Stole II and make some progress on the Bespoke.

(And, let me tell you it is very, very difficult to knit lace when jumping up and down with excitement!!!)

Well, yesterday being the Ides of February, a.k.a. PayDay, I hit the yarn shop. Quelle surprise!

This time I went to Lettuce Knit in the Kensington Market. I had nothing particular in mind – aside from looking for the new Interweave 49 Sensational Skirts book. I wasn’t intending to actually buy yarn, of course!

Then I saw this beauty hanging up in the shop:

This is the Serrano from one of the past Knitty online mags. Laura who works at Lettuce Knit designed it. She is my new hero. I had seen it back in the summertime and fully intended to knit it, but then somehow I got distracted.

And so forth… anyway, you get the point.

I then tripped across the following sock yarn, of all things:

Colinette Jitterbug! Look at the colour! I’ve never seen such an interesting red – and you all know how I love red!

Now, I didn’t even know what kind of yarn the pattern called for at the time. I just looked now and this should work… but I’m not sure that I have quite enough of it. I have about 870 m and the small size calls for just over 1000 m. So, it may well be an assymmetrically sleeved garment. Oh well.

Of course, I also had to pick up some Handmaiden Sea Silk.

So, the yarn jones satisfied, I trotted off to the Landlord and Tenant Board to observe a hearing on a file I’ve been working on. It ended up settling. And I’d even brought popcorn!

Then I headed on over to Greektown to meet JJ and some friends. We went to a fantastic Greek restaurant called Astoria and pigged out. One downside: no beer on tap! But I did manage to find the first Greek beer I’ve ever liked…

We then headed off to a small neighbourhood pub further east of Greektown. They had my favourite on tap…

I think I must have overindulged as I ended up singing karaoke by myself. A first! No one threw anything at me so I guess I must have done OK.

And at least no articles of clothing got removed…

This is my all-time favourite comic strip, Life In Hell. That particular comic has hung on my fridge for three years. JJ thinks it’s weird… but when he starts cooking he can decide what goes on the fridge, I figure.

Speaking of JJ, I’d better sign off now and go get him up. He’s been telling me all week that he’s going to take me shopping for a “big surprise” today for Valentine’s Day. I wonder what it is? He won’t give me any hints. The last big Valentine’s surprise, if I remember correctly, was a vacuum cleaner. (He was shocked that I didn’t have one when we moved in together. This was only because every time I had to vacuum, I simply moved instead. But JJ has a bit less of the gypsy impulse than I…).

Anyway, to any Ontarians reading this, happy Family (Values) long weekend!

(They said on the news the other day that our Premier, the Honourable Mr. McGuinty, comes from a family of 14. No wonder he named this new holiday “Family Day”. He’d probably piss off half the province if he didn’t!)

And everyone else enjoy their long weekend too, whatever you might call it…

The above represents how I feel after finishing Hint 4 of the SOTSii…

I even managed to put beads into the project… which funnily enough seem to have helped me with the counting effort:

If you haven’t gathered as much already, I must say I’m quite impressed with my effort on this. I even managed not to pitch it off the balcony when having to frog a couple of times…

And in other news, I found some rather odd items when trolling the laundry room for new acquisitions yesterday evening:

Why “odd”? Because the item on the left is a holy water vessel used by Orthodox Christians (the tradition I was raised in, although the writing on the vessel is Russian not Greek). The other is a Madonna and child.

I hasten to say that I’m not religious in the least. However, I like religious art and religious kitsch and these items seem to be a good example of both! And – I live in a primarily Jewish building! So hopefully these items are a good omen for Clue No. 5!

Because I’ve come too far to give up now…

However, if worse comes to worst, I can always take comfort in the fact that in my work life I am a very important and indispensable person…

…although my colleagues may well beg to differ.

And, last evening, I created a new SNOW MADNESS cocktail/slush puppie:

Creme de menthe smuggled in from France… and snow from a ravine in Toronto (this drink was inspired, by the way, by my colleague C. C. said earlier this evening that C. enjoys eating snow (this after my friend Jennifer outed C. in this regard, but anyway!) I laughed, and laughed and laughed, and then I came home and ate and drank some snow. And… it is guid! (this according to JJ). So, thanks, C.!

On that note, I will sign off, wishing you a very happy Friday and a great weekend (here in Ontario, we have a long weekend which has been newly created – Monday is “Family Day”. I will spend Monday by myself knitting my @$$ off as my primary Toronto family member JJ will be at work earning double time and a half dollars and eating free food. Not a bad compromise in my view!

Sincerely yours,

Really! It has! And just in time for Valentine’s Day! Yippee!!!

Although a peek out the window belies this statement…

it is a fact.

(Unaccountably right now I’m reminded of a little ditty my friend Bronwen came up with when we were in high school:

Spring has sprung
Here come the turds
Where the hell
are the goddamn birds?

Man, the brain does work in mysterious ways…)

Anyway, here is my evidence that spring is here:

!!!! And not before time.

I picked this up at Romni Wools yesterday.

But it’s not even PayDay yet, you say? What was I doing at Romni? Weeeeeell…

I had been doing some work at home in the early morning and was leaving late for the office. Late enough, in fact, to catch the 10 a.m. opening time at Romni on the way in. Where I had to go, by the way, because I needed some fine-gauge crochet hooks with which to string beads.

Good Kristina then made an (increasingly rare) appearance and reminded me that Amy had proffered a very good suggestion involving fishing line as a solution to this issue earlier this week.

Hardware store… yarn shop? Hardware store… yarn shop? What a choice!

But Romni is right near my streetcar stop closest to work (if by “closest” one means “5 blocks further west than the stop which is really closest, but a more scenic route by far”), so the choice became clear. Only for crochet hooks, of course.

You might well ask. It’s that time honoured game in which my pocketbook (and any hope of ever buying property in this town) are always the losers.

As soon as I stepped into the shop, this leapt into my hot little (well, cold by that point – it was well below zero yesterday and I had been knitting in the street) hands:

Handmaiden Mini Maiden! Look at the pretty colours! The colourway is called “Blackberry” (I assume after the real thing, not after the obnoxious electronic rudeness-sanctioning device). How could I resist?!

Besides, it will be perfect for the Swallowtail shawl that I plan to start tomorrow at the weekend one of these days.

(Good Kristina: But I thought you already had this stuff for the Swallowtail?!?

Evil Kristina: Ah, shuddup.

I am always astounded by the efficacy of rudeness, even against myself. Maybe those Blackberry-wielding urban warriors have a point?! Hmm. Not one I wish ever to understand, mind you.)

I also scored the perfect buttons for my Bespoke:

…and some other very flashy vintage buttons besides.
I then left the shop, glowing with the satisfaction of shiny new purchases. A block and a half later, I realised that I had forgotten to look for these!

SIGH. I found 1.0 mm and .75 mm hooks (and whoever actually crochets with these and reads this blog, please contact me and I will send you a medal. Really. 3.00mm stretches the limits of my patience, which is admittedly not a hard thing to do).

All in all it was a productive day. I accomplished all this in my commute to and from the office:

Sleeve No. 1 of my Bespoke. (Did I mention before that I have found the cure for the dreaded SSS?! Take your sleeves with you wherever you have to wait in line/sit on a train, bus or streetcar, etc.)

I also reviewed some pressing legal research materials:

…and did a little light reading over the lunch hour:

(Dang. Did I mix up those photos again?! Bad habit).

Now it’s off to work – but spring has sprung!! Does this mean all the snow has melted, d’ya think?

Er…nope.

Oh well.

To whom it may concern:

I’d really like to know when you are going to stop broadcasting fearmongering, propaganda and other useless information on your newshour and when you are actually going to start telling us what is really going on out there.

I guess I was paying too much attention to the 11 o’clock news last night because I had wisely put away my SOTIii by that point, having had to frog the last row I was working on twice. Well, let me tell you, your news programme is excrutiating to watch when sober and not otherwise occupied.

(And now for a break from my sponsor, John Fluevog!!!)

First off, we get treated to yet another segment on “The Winter Olympics is coming to Vancouver only two years from now!” Your “countdown” included:

(a) a bunch of useless blather about how great it is that Canada has yet again gotten the Olympics;

(b) some propaganda to sign up for the “volunteer draft” (draft! Don’t we hear enough about the military now that we’re at war?) so that we can go to Vancouver at our own expense and work 13 10-hour shifts in a month, for free;

(c) the fact that the mayor of Vancouver is in a wheelchair;

(d) construction of the athlete’s village and how it is going to create all sorts of wonderful affordable housing that will last for 50 years (just like in Athens a few years back I guess… and those huts started to fall apart less than a year after moving the people in; and

(e) oh, and did we mention that the Mayor of Vancouver is in a wheelchair?

Twelve minutes of Olympics right at the outset of the news – WITHOUT ANY ADVERTISEMENTS. This must be the first time in 10 years that CTV went for more than 4 minutes without a “break”. Usually it doesn’t seem to matter: election, war, insurrection, terrorism… by 11:04 we’re treated to ads exhorting us to lose weight, get credit cards, buy insurance for our funerals, mortgage our houses we’ve spent the last 40 years paying for, etc. etc.

(and on that topic, why don’t you ever run ads with useful information?

I mean, if we’re all going to sign up for those pre-paid credit card swipe things, we might as well spend the money on something useful – that doesn’t require weight loss, by the way.)

Anyway, finally at 11:15 what I consider to be the “news” started.

This is when my diet coke can nearly got hurled at the screen. You told us this:

The Conservative government and opposition Liberals appear to be on their way to reaching a deal on the Afghan mission. Prime Minister Stephen Harper says he is open to introducing a new motion on the mission that would include concerns laid out by Liberal Leader Stephane Dion.

No big surprise that the Liberals are caving out of their “let’s pull out soon” stance. My huge beef is that the reporter characterised Mr. Dion as a “statesman” for this move. News to me that it is “statesmanlike” to pander to the other side!!!!! Where would we all be at if people like this guy:

had done the same thing? Shame on you, Stephane! Is it just that your party told you they’re not ready for a non-confidence motion and an election in the next three months?!?!

This item, by the way, lasted 90 minutes. If allocation of time is an indication of importance of the story, our ongoing presence in Afghanistan (despite growing public unease with it) is eight times less important than the fact that we are hosting the winter Olympics in two years.

Of course, there was a heavy dose of corporate news as well:

– GM is losing money (aka “possibly 75,000 less jobs in the next while”)
– Bell Canada has breached the security of over 3 million people by “losing” customer information (aka “your money might be stolen out of your bank account”).

I was almost relieved to see the next round of ads.

Surely you were actually going to tell us some useful and important news in the local segment?

Well, this is what you told us:

(a) it’s snowing.

(b) did we mention that it is snowing?

(really?!?!?

Oh! It had been snowing! I hadn’t realise that when I trudged climbed over big snowbanks went to and came home from work yesterday, so thanks for that!

(c) be careful when you’re driving because it’s snowing.

(d) there’s been a lot of snow in Toronto.

(e) Toronto is running out of money to clean all the snow (really?! I hadn’t noticed they’d actually been cleaning it, actually).

(f) however, consider yourselves lucky because in Kawartha Lakes the municipal snow removers are on strike and the stubborn mayor doesn’t care because someone is keeping his parking space cleared.

(g) the airport is in a mess because it’s snowing, but they’re working hard to shovel all the snow.

This was the first fifteen minutes of the newscast. You devoted six of your reporters’ time to standing outside all day and talking about the weather!!! Do we really need to hear 15 minutes about how bad the weather is when we are all already suffering from snow madness?!?

And then… you put on Dave Deval with the weather.

Now, I like Dave OK – but why not give him the night off when all the other reporters are covering the weather anyway?! Sheesh!

Then for the requisite “be afraid…be very very afraid!” component:

(a) big child porn bust. But there are another 4,000 child pornmongers out there in Toronto who tell their children “I love you” on the internet and win them over.

(b) violent fugitive on the loose in Hamilton

(c) woman dies in apartment fire

And then a plug for the new credit card swipe thing. On the news, mind you – not in an advertisement!

This is when I finally turned off the programme, realising that I was going to get no useful information and that ten minutes of hockey news was to follow.

So, this is why I will no longer be watching your newscast. Please advise me if and when you decide to actually start showing news again. Until then, I’ll be tuning into this station:

Yours very truly,

Kristina Brouhaha

Well, I was walking to the subway along Queen Street and while passing Pages, my favourite downtown bookshop, just had to get in out of the subzero temperatures for a minute… that’s my excuse anyway!

Look what I bought!

This seems to be a compilation of very innovative patterns/art knits from a mag I’d never heard of called KnitKnit. (Well, that’s just great… another yet prospective ongoing expenditure!)

In addition to patterns the book has long articles about the contributors, which look interesting and inspiring…

Not to mention pattern for such things as knitted baby boxing gloves, knitted boots and other very cool stuff. And, on the back cover, a giant knitted tree!!! Right up my alley, eh? Except now I feel so boring!

For example, issue 7 has an article on “Subversive Lace” by Danica Maier. Dying to see that one! When I googled “Subversive Lace” this is one of the first sites that came up. Cool, eh?

I had already spent some cash at the newsagent on this mag:

Great – just what I need. Another craft. Sigh. But the patterns look so funky!

(At Pages, I also picked up a book of diaries of Tony Benn:

He is one of my favourite politicians – he was an MP with the UK Labour party for many, many years. Anyone who gave up the title of “Sir” willingly because it was incompatible with being a champion for the commoners is a good guy in my books.

Most recently, he was interviewed by Michael Moore in the movie “Sicko” – if you have the DVD or rent it, think about checking out the extended interview with him under the Features part. Whatever your politics, it will be thought-provoking, I think.

And… he’s a smoker!

Obviously a good bloke, eh?)

Anyway, enough blather. Off to listen to some New Wave music, read my New Wave book, and scheme and plot about knitting. Please wish me luck… I want to be subversive too!

Just when I thought I had all the knitting books I needed and more…

This is a new one by Interweave Knits and is right up my alley. I keep being reminded that it is a very, very good thing that I don’t have a credit card, else I’d have bought this one right away.

(I have a strange sort of mental disorder which equivalates “credit card” with “free money”. (I gather I’m not alone in this, but it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with, really). I only learned about this issue when Citibank kindly sent me a pre-approved credit card many years back when I had first moved to Toronto, gone to journalism school and developed a king-sized beer habit.

A few months later, I hit bottom when I attended at the video store to rent a $4 video using the plastic and it was refused. Now, I have had many, many humiliating life experiences relating to my own stupidity… but having your card seized and cut up in front of a line of about 20 people over a four dollar purchase comes fairly near the top of that list.

I gather since then that the practice of sending out pre-approved credit cards has become illegal in Canada. This is a good thing, I think.)

Anyway, I really, really don’t need a book on skirts, given that I am still hoarding the yarn to knit this skirt, which I had initially decided I must knit last summer!

And there’s another dress design in the works (or at least, in the murky depths of my brain). Think “leftover Curlilocks”:

(Not in this colourway, alas. I’ll have to content myself with fuschia, eggplant and plum, this being a stashbuster and all…)

…and “short wedding gown”…(and no, I am not getting married. Ever. You can quote me on that. Although it would be a good excuse to register at the yarn store…hmm.)

Actually, if I were ever to tie the knot with official sanction, I’d probably wear this dress:

Or I guess I could knit another one with all that Handmaiden stash:

Having said all that, I really should be concentrating on the SOTSii:

…and not to mention the Bespoke Jacket:

Here’s my progress on that so far (the right front)…

I won’t be wearing it for a while, though, what with the “minus 15 feels like minus 30” weather these days. So no big rush, eh?

A very happy Monday to you all…