feudalism in action

Well, after the excitement of prancing around in my new straitjacket for the better part of yesterday evening, I finally got around to putting the elastic into my Flemish beret.

Well – it’s confirmed. I still look like the Village Idiot.

I can’t figure out what I did wrong, given that it looked so fab on the pattern designer, Jennifer.

Hell, it even looks better on my albino head model than me:Wench.

Note the fancy buttons I added, above and here:

Unfortunately, it didn’t make the hat look magically better on me (it looks great sitting on my living room table, though! Maybe it’s not meant for wearing by short squat Greeks like myself.

A pause for a brief digression: having said that, what if I wore it together with my Fit to Be Tied? Hmm.

Would this:

plus this:

equal this? I could live with that!

Alas, I’d probably just end up looking like a landlord. You know, from the days when they were still allowed to run around booting tenants up the arse and sacking their huts because the tenant didn’t tip his cap at the landlord the right way. Back in those days the law decisions are full of descriptions of “tenents marauding ryotously thru the fyields[sic]”. No wonder!!!

(This is an actual line from a case from the Star Chamber. I found it one day while articling because I was pissed off at one of my supervising lawyers for sending me to to the library to look for 1890s House of Lords decisions which he seemed to think related to an above-guideline rent increase application concerning lobby restoration. Huh??? How many lobby repairs jobs were Victorian landlords doing, anyway> All this to say, I brought the “marauding” case back with the rest of the stack and waited for him to find it and quote it in his submissions. I heard the laughter 20 minutes or so later and realised that my little ruse hadn’t worked. Oh well.)

These days, of course, we have residential tenancy statutes to protect tenants from such abuses (it only took until 1978 or so… but hey). Well, almost, anyway. As you can see, the law still enshrined some of the hallowed and time honoured concepts of the Feudal Doctrine of Serf and Turf.

I’d better get off this topic. I feel a good rant coming on…

So, I decided to dig out a hat from the collection that better suits greek types like me. How about a fez!!

Check out the flowers!

Hmm… maybe I should try to sell some to the Shriners.

And finally on the topic of hats, I was in a fabric/home decor shop the other day when I spotted a bunch of these:

There must have been a hundred of them there! I started to hyperventilate, as my tortured brain inevitably harked back to the good ol’ days:

No wonder I dislike Christmas!

On a happier note, today commemorates the 1934 debut of the musical Babes in Toyland, which featured two of my faves!

Stan and Ollie clearly loved hats as much as I do…

AUGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!! This must be some sort of sign – time to get to work!

Happy Monday…



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