Fit to Be Tied (a 21st century straitjacket)

Free promotion: If you like the main attraction, why not see the making of the straitjacket!!! How to Make Your Very Own 21st Century Straitjacket. Brought to you by Bespoke by Brouhaha, a craftdaft enterprise

When I returned from my “I’ll never go to Loblaws on a Sunday again” outing today (speaking of screaming!), I saw that Aphrodite had been sprung from her room on the locked ward (otherwise known as the stash room and (HAH!) office) and was wandering the grounds:

I’m glad she didn’t climb over the high fence so that I could show you these pics!

This is my newest creation: made with a shirt from Goodwill, eight neckties from Goodwill, beads from Earthfaire and Arton in Toronto, and vintage buttons rescued from my grandmother’s house.

Although I will be wearing it to work on Tuesday, of course (I just remembered that Monday is a stat holiday for some of my luckier colleagues and I want to have full show-off and prancing around potential when I model this), I suspect it’s better left as a work of art most days.

But aren’t the colours lovely?! Wasted on all those Bay Street types, I think.

(I must credit JJ with the idea to braid the back pieces. I guess some of the bug that’s bit me has infected him as well!)

I think I finally figured out what “bling” means…

Seriously, wouldn’t neckties make the world’s craziest quilt??

I’m particularly proud of this design feature (which term, for once, I am not using to mean “mistake”) – necktie cuffs with mock “cuff links”!

But if it’s “art”, then what does it all mean? you ask? Well – I’ll leave that up to you for the time being. I’ll give you some whispered hints, though:

The Corporation
The Landed Gentry (or, for my US friends, The Lawyer)

** on this topic, I’m very peeved that I cannot sign off as Kristina Brouhaha, Esq. “Kristina Brouhaha, B.A., LL.B” doesn’t quite cut it (although add just one little “a” and then check out the anagram!!! and if you’re as lame at anagrams as I am… just Email me). It took a fellow lawyer friend to clue me into this one, but as a barrister and solicitor called to the Bar of Ontario, I’m not supposed to bring my professional self into disrepute. Suffice it to say that I’m very happy that they don’t make me render the “barrister solicitor” bit into initials to follow my name.

The Government
The Zodiac
The Church

(I’m starting to wonder if this shouldn’t be called The Da Vinci Code Vest. At least then I may be able to sell some of them!).

If you put all of the above together with the “straitjacket” concept, you should get some inkling of how my tortured brain works (especially while watching the television news).

And, when I went to check the label to see who was indeed responsible for this fabulous creation?
Go figure.

Not bad for someone who can’t sew, eh? (and I don’t mean that in any self-deprecating sarcastic sense. I really, really, can’t sew. Hence, the beads – to cover up the booboos – sort of, anyway).

On that topic, I have so many photos of this piece in progress that I’ve decided to put up another blog post – a “tutorial” of sorts – more like a “what not to do” for anyone who wants to try this at home and has no clue about sewing. You’ll also have to check it out if you want to know the actual symbolism behind this piece. I know, I know… not fair.

Oh – and I’d better show a picture of myself in it:

Sorry – it’s blurry. I think JJ was holding back quite a bit of laughter (at my expense, no doubt) when he took this photo. I don’t know if you can see it, but I had given myself a moustache and goatee with mascara (it must be good for SOMETHING!) before prancing out to show it off, shouting “Avast, matey!!!” (we had watched Pirates of the Caribbean last evening). I then made the mistake of saying to him “Don’t I look like Johnny Depp?” just before he snapped the photo.

He didn’t answer, and only spoke again about five minutes later, when I came in wearing a beret (which will be one of the subjects of a future post):

“You’rrrre gettin’ worrrrrse”, was all he said.

On that happy note, here’s another pretty picture of the other necktie sleeve cuff!!


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