I did say that I wouldn’t post in progress pics… but Evil and Shameless Self Promoting Kristina has intervened.

Front

Back


Whole

But even the Gods have had to face hubris at some point or another! The yarns (SWTC Bamboo and Oasis, Handmaiden Sea Silk and Ella Rae Silkience) have all worked very well together.

What has not worked so well, perhaps, is Your Ever So Humble knitter trying out 4.5mm needles and 4.00mm needles, deciding on the 4.5mm and then putting those away by mistake and using the 4.0mm instead!

Oops.

Having said that, a rather long bout of blocking this morning has yielded the correct length (more or…er, well, less!) and 1 inch off the body width only. So hopefully the end effect of my wearing it will not wind up somewhat less than Intoxicating due to the overt display of my…ahem… worldly goods! Or maybe I can just crank Aphrodite down a notch and schlep her wearing it around with me instead (I have seen stranger things in the public transit system of Toronto, and I doubt that the co-workers would be shocked at this point).

(I’m also not certain about the “stripe” effect in the maze pattern. However, it was the necessary result of attempting to ensure enough of all colours for the pattern, so I’ll try not to bang my head against the wall too much).

Or, maybe this is just the fates intervening and whispering – nay, shouting – to me “It’s time to make something for someone else for a change, you shameless hussy.”

So – off I trot to the LYS over the next couple of days to pick up some felting yarn for a pair of slippers for Mr. Door Decoration Designer 2007 (and 2006, and 2005!), JJ. Expected cost: $20 or so. Anticipated Time in Progress: 6 hours plus several trips to the laundry room, effing and blinding as usual when in the laundry room. Potential for slapping oneself on the back and feeling virtuous and selfless, and corresponding justification for the next two years for only thinking of myself while knitting: priceless.

Let’s not mention that if I were planning a trot over to the LYS for yarn intended for a project for Her Royal Majesty Kristina of Valleyview, the trot would most certainly not be scheduled “over the next couple of days”. Instead, HRM K would be scheming how to leave late for work today to hit the LYS when it opens and still leaving by 5.

Let’s also not mention that HRM Kristina was royally peeved last night when learning that the fuzzy yarn she had scored at the yarn swap for this purpose was actually 60% mohair and 40% acrylic. Have you ever tried to felt a mohair/acrylic blend? No? Don’t bother, unless you’re planning to dress up as an ultra-camp knight for Hallowe’en. The end result, for me, resembled electric blue chainmail. Where was I when they were designing costumers for Blackadder first series?!? Yet another missed opportunity… but I digress (quelle surprise!). Unfortunately I don’t have a photo for you as the offending swatch was tossed over the balcony into the ravine last night, where some raccoon may well choke on it, causing more bad yarn-related karma).

Oh well. Rome wasn’t built in a day, they say.

If you’re from the U.S. or even Canada, you most likely have heard the U.S postal slogan about prompt delivery of mail in about a million TV ads:

“Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

I had occasion to look this up in the aftermath of a yarn swap which went awry recently – the recipient (in the US) ended up with less than 20% of the package I had sent, without any sign that the package had been through customs. The thief apparently knew their yarn, as most of what went missing was prime Fleece Artist Kid Aran. But I digress. I was very surprised to learn who originally authored the above phrase:

Herodotus, Inscription, New York City Post Office, adapted from Herodotus
Greek historian & traveler (484 BC – 430 BC)

See more information and the ancient greek original of the phrase here.

Those ancient Greeks controlled everything, didn’t they?

I’d better stop now. I’m starting to sound like the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which is actually quite frightening!

Just the kind of on-line quiz I like. Only five questions and no typing required! Courtesy of Wannietta’s blog.

No big surprise to learn that I am…

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you’re apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you’re a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence – you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn’t mean you’re a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Well, have a look at these vintage beauties (circa 1955) and decide for yourself!

PLEASE NOTE: with my sadly lacking photographic skills, I could not hope to reproduce the true splendour of the colour of the sky in Greece as depicted on these plates. Picture what you see here and ramp it up in the turquoise direction another … oh, well, the ensuing colour would be the love child of blue and green salt water taffy!

(I imagine the more appropriate sky colour for today’s Athens is grey-brown, but that’s another story for another day. And, that serves to make these plates very rare and valuable artifacts, akin to the Elgin Marbles, IMHO. But I, as usual, digress…)

1. The Parthenon

Did you know that the ancient Greeks built a large structure 2,000 plus years ago called the Parthenon? No? If not, here’s what it looks like:

2. The Parthenon and Other Structures

…and just in case you don’t know what the Parthenon looks like, here’s another depiction of it, because after all it was a very important accomplishment of the ancient Greeks, just in case you didn’t know that:

But… the creator of this plate obviously wanted to stress the multitalented nature of my forefathers (I only say “forefathers” because I doubt that the foremothers were allowed out of the house at the time, let alone off building future heritage properties) – it is a little known secret that the Ancient Greeks also built other buildings. So, here’s one:

…and another…

…and yet another…
Oops! is that the Parthenon again? Must have needed another version in the border just in case the one in the middle wasn’t gaudy… er, noticeable enough. And it IS a very important building…

3. A Rare Sight in Greek Modern Art

A whole plate devoted to a building which is not the Parthenon… !

4. Evzonas (Soldier) at the Acropolis
a.k.a. The Favourite Pastime of the Greek Male – Blowing His Own Horn!

Glad to see the creator of the plate didn’t forget about the Parthenon. And – check out the detail photo:

Do you notice something unusual? I reckon that this guy must be the tallest Greek in history. Or at least the one with the longest legs – he appears to be about 7 feet tall with legs measuring 6 feet (from the waist – hard to guess the inseam measurement what with the cute little pleated skirt).

And on the topic of cute little skirts, a cross-cultural aside so that DH doesn’t feel left out. Note the similarities in stance and activity engaged in:

However, the comparison of the two brings out (to me, anyway) why the Greeks are and always will be superior to the Scots:

(a) the Scot doesn’t get to wear pompoms on HIS shoes; and
(b) what else is missing from the Scottish version… three guesses and the first two don’t count… tick tock tick tock. Bzzz. Ah, yes… the Parthenon! In fact, no big ass buildings at all, really. I guess the workers were too busy running and hiding from the 50,123rd squeaky squally version of “Scots Wha Hae” or “Amazing Grace” to build all those columns. Hmm.

(No rude comments along the lines of “Ah, but wha’ is under the Greek’s skirt, hen?”, please!!)

5. A Woman’s Work is Never Done

And while Nick is up at the Parthenon carrying on YET AGAIN, here’s what his wife and daughter are doing:

Note the monochromatic and dull colour scheme in contrast with the bright peacock colours of Takis the Evzonas (or was that Takis the Mangas… or Takis the Malakas? Hmm). Fitting, somehow.

But check out the detail:

What is it exactly she is collecting? The last time I saw something like this was on the school trip to Sharbot Lake and the maple bush, but as far as I know they don’t have maple trees in Greece. Hmm. Perhaps it’s what she needs to drink in order to stay shacked with Nick? Or…

(Nick rolls in at about midnight, three sheets to the wind yet again)

SPIROULA: Your dinner that I spent two days killing, plucking and cooking over the wood fire is COLD!!!! Were you out at that Parthenon again? You promised you would stop going there so much.

NICK: (staggering to the nearest chair and sitting down) Skase (shut up), woman. I’m tired. Why don’t you use the microwave that Yorgo got me off the back of the truck, anyway??? Get me some ouzo/raki (depending on the part of Greece). AMESOS! (right away). It’s not easy standing at the Parthenon and having your photo taken by all those tourists, you know.

SPIROULA: Your boss came and smashed the microwave because he was so upset that you hadn’t shown up to work for the 3rd week in a row…or was it because you beat his brother-in-law at poker?! And I’m sick and tired of you…

NICK: I said, SKASMOS!! (shut the beep up). Enough! (muttering)… Women talk too much. “They told the old woman to take a dump and she went and s**t out her bowels”. [NOTE: this is a perhaps not so ancient greek cliche standing for the that time honoured proposition “Women talk too much”. In the Greek “ipane stin gria na hesei ke piye ke exakoliastike”).

SPIROULA: You’re right, hryso mou (my golden one), you’re right. I’ll get your drink right away (chuckling to herself as she goes to the urn containing the sap from the poison tree so painstakingly collected earlier that day for just such a moment…)

6. The Happy Couple

And, just in case you didn’t think that Greek men and women ever did anything together…

I should note that this plate, unlike all the others, is only about 3 inches in diameter and is meant to go underneath a demitasse cup. They probably only put this image of the happy couple in full Greek Village drag because there was no room for the Parthenon on the saucer…

7. Greek Canadian Schlock

And finally (phew!) my attempt to live up to the proud artistic heritage of those whose works are so lovingly displayed above:

This is my attempt at an evil eye (“mati”) plate which is meant to ward off the evil eye. It was originally gifted to a recipient who shall remain nameless, but who had apparently decided that this work of art was meant to collect cigarette lighters, matches and old unopened phone bills on the kitchen table (despite the plate stand that was gifted with it, which I had thought made the purpose obvious). So, this offended artist took back the gift. It now occupies a place of honour underneath my computer desk as it is so heavy that I am frightened to hang it. Materials: heavy plate from the dollar store, stained glass and tile grout.

I’m not so much worried that it would break as that it would inevitably fall down on my head as I was passing and cause permanent brain damage (having said, if you’ve made it all the way through this long ramble, you may well be thinking “Too late for that!”)

I hate to say it, but it is now officially autumn in the J-B household (I would say the B-J household but that has another connotation entirely!).

Why? Because the seasonal door decoration has just been changed (after a trip to Michaels this afternoon). JJ, my DH, is in charge of this and has been feeling left out on my blog adventures, so here’s a tribute to him.

Before: Summer 2007

After: Autumm 2007

… and check out the cute little scarecrow!

I should note that we are the only people in the entire building with a door decoration. Sad, isn’t it? In fact, we get odd looks from time to time from some of the neighbours… perhaps JJ should be marketing his services on his days off from work! Hmm…

…or, How a Shameless Silk-Coveting Hussy Succumbed Yet Again.

Yesterday was Payday, the Kristinaland statutory holiday dedicated to new yarn acquisitions. So, off I skipped to the LYS at (well, before) the lunch hour… with my usual steel-like focus and dedication. The quest: Sea Silk, or nothing. (my attempt to self-regulate my silk habit as they hadn’t any Sea Silk in stock on previous ventures and told me it would be quite some time).

So, I got there, only to find no Sea Silk. My pocketbook and I almost made it out intact until, at the last minute, I with my little eye spotted…something that is Silken:

(well, to be honest, I didn’t actually “spot” them. Unless one can count rooting through all the Handmaiden bins in sheer desperation and retrieving these “spotting”, that is).

What followed was about 30 seconds of the usual internal debate:

GOOD SELF: You don’t need that… you have two more at home and all sorts of other stuff besides.

EVIL SELF: Yes, of course I don’t NEED them… but look at that pretty blue! And I had that same multicoloured one before and it knitted up so lovely, like a rainbow next to my skin.

GOOD SELF: But what are you going to make with it? You just bought all this other sea silk to make lace!

EVIL SELF: You’re right, you’re right…(longish pause)… well, these might be nice for that Tuscany Shawl.

GOOD SELF: (exasperated) YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO MAKE THE TUSCANY SHAWL YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER MAKE IT AND BESIDES THAT CALLS FOR THREE SKEINS AND THERE ARE ONLY TWO SKEINS HERE. Just walk away…

EVIL SELF: Hmm… good points… (pause) but didn’t someone say that they only needed the two for their Tuscany?

So – evil triumphs over good… yet again. SIGH.

Your faithful servant,

Kristina

PS. on that note, who out there has made the Tuscany with Silken, and how many skeins did you use? 😉

and it’s time to start making a decision – do I include my old aborted (20×20) log cabin or not?

I have another 6 or so “base” swatch squares to finish before I’ve got to decide how approximately the blankie will be put together so that I can jig with the widths/lengths of the other squares before knitting.

One idea: chop up the big log cabin into smaller pieces. But I don’t know if that would look strange or not.

Thoughts?

… or, How to Rescue A Long-Abandoned UFO From Hell (be warned in advance… a rather lengthy tale!)

Yesterday, while sourcing stash materials for my Swatch Log Cabin, I came across this long-neglected not-quite-FO crumpled in the back of my closet:

The photo does not quite do justice to the tremendous hatred and angst I had over this sweater (my attempt at the Unisex Desconstructed Sweater by Leigh Radford in Alterknits):

(I am reminded in writing this of the Glamour mag Dos and Dont’s page at the back of the mag… remember that? The last time I saw a copy was probably 20 years ago. Do they still do that? But I digress… anyway, perhaps the appropriate picture of me in that light to highlight the DON’T side of this tale is:

I had fallen in love with the pattern the first time I saw it (perhaps in part because the guy’s hair looks like mine would if I had the patience to grow it out for another 2 years…!). I also liked the fact that the seaming called for (a reverse bulky seam) would actually look as though I meant to do it like that rather than yet another Kristina seaming hackjob. However, in my early and misguided experimentation days, and because I hate the way chunky knits look on me, I decided it would be a fabulous idea to substitute some Cotton Fleece (worsted) for the chunky yarn called for.

I started the planning for this sweater on my birthday in August of 2006. Merrily I traipsed to the LYS, found colours, etc. And then I sat down with pencil, measuring tape and another sweater of mine in the correct size, smiling as I calculated the stitch and row ratios, etc. I felt like SUCH a genius…

Except I forgot to mention – I suck at math.

And, even worse – I thought I was above doing a swatch because I had worked with Cotton Fleece before and knew all about it. Right?

WRONG.

The sweater turned out about two sizes too small. I also managed to knit the yoke that fits into the next and middle backwards, and screw it up some other way as well. When I stitched in the yoke there were big huge gaps even before I tried the sweater on. It looked absolutely horrendous.

I lack the words to describe just how much I detested this sweater. Suffice it to say that I nearly took the scissors to it there and then (after cursing and throwing things around the apartment for half an hour). Instead, I flung it in disgust into the closet.

I took it out again maybe six months ago to see whether I could gift it to a friend more petite than I. Again, disgust, horror – it nearly got pitched into the ravine at that time, but DH said “just put it back in the closet”, so I did.

So, when I came across it yesterday, I expected to be infuriated. Yet, I wasn’t. I don’t know what has changed. Perhaps it was my having frozen half to death in the office earlier that day (air conditioning full blast, outside temperature 15 degrees and me in a cute little summer dress and no cardigan at work for cover) and thinking “hey, maybe I could turn this into a cardigan to leave at the office”.

At any rate, I was willing to play with it a bit last night. I took out the yoke and knitted on a garter stitch mitred border in its place (thanks to Barbary Gregory and her fantastic Bacardi pattern in No Sheep For You). There was a knitted in hem in this pattern and I was a bit concerned about that but just decided to hang it all and forge on ahead. I did not put in buttonholes as a buttoned version would be too tight fitting:

So, this is the end result – the Deconstructed Cardi:

and the back – note the stockinette and reverse stockinette panels:

It fits about the same as me as on Aphrodite… that is, it is meant to be worn somewhat open.

And the requisite DO shot:

Just to keep up my cynical sourpuss image, I’m still not 100% thrilled with the piece. The sleeves are still too short (although now for some reason this has mutated into a cutesy little “pushed up sleeve” look in my mind). However, the colours are cute, most of the knitting in the piece was just fine, and the offending yoke and seaming hatchet job is (mostly) gone. So, all in all, a serviceable little cardi to leave in the office – and in fact I think I just might wear it to work today!

PS – I did wear it to work today:

And now for the moral(s) of the tale:

(a) ALWAYS DO A SWATCH (sorry for yelling, but this experience was my ultimate lesson in that wise though. Er, well… maybe my penultimate lesson, come to think of it)

(b) put aside those dreaded U/FOs for a while… maybe a year, and see what you think then.

…aka the TTC Log Cabin Update! (which may become the TTC Winter Coat update given that they are raising the Metropass charge by $9.25 and I may well have to sell my winter coat to afford going to work! grr)

Most recent future additions and square in progress respecting the future swatch-centred log cabin style blankie:

This is my favourite swatch (which I made before starting my Rainbow Dress – a panoply of Fleece Artist, Handmaiden and other silks):

… and this is probably misnamed as a swatch… but when stashhunting for the blanket this morning I came across this long-abandoned log cabin (great colours, but terrible-to-work-with vintage acrylic yarn that kept breaking). I’m going to find a way to incorporate it, maybe chopping it into pieces.

Stay tuned… this may well be the mother of all log cabins at the rate it’s going!

…not on my end, but on the recipient’s. She got approximately 20% of the stuff I sent to her in the US. If I write about it again I will probably break the keyboard I am so furious… (breathe!). But if you want to share my pain, please see my query on the Knittyboard.