To whom it may concern who is in charge of the weather:

I am a Canadian, living in Toronto, Ontario, and am increasingly disconcerted by the weather situation. As such, I am writing to you about my concerns.

First, I found it rather disconcerting that when travelling to London and Paris recently that I never once had to use an umbrella (despite the fact that upon advice, I had carried several and as such faced an overweight charge by Air Canada when leaving the country). Not that I am complaining… just that it apparently was very unusual weather, thus a bit strange.

(Stranger yet was the fact that there was almost snow in London while I was there and the people were very excited about that eventuality… to the extent that on the radio they were reporting snowfall by postal code district. It never reached our district. Thank goddess for that!).

I also found it extremely odd that we returned to Canada with a more balmy temperature than we had left in the UK. Especially since we had left during a blizzard, and I’m advised that in between times all the snow had melted, then a deep freeze and more snow had come again, and then melted.

Second, (since I’m back in Canada now and actually care about the weather in Toronto!) I would really appreciate it if you would talk to the people who are in charge of reporting the Toronto weather and clue them in to reality. On Monday and Tuesday it was unseasonably warm… between 12C (54F) and 14C (57F). People were sitting on patios, it was so warm. I nearly passed out coming home on Tuesday evening carrying groceries because I was overdressed. The weatherpeople were telling us we could expect this bounty all week!

In this regard, yesterday morning I prepared to go to work dressed like this:

I even checked the Weather Network before leaving… the prediction was 12C (54F) and sunny with cloudy periods.

However, luckily for me I decided to step out onto the balcony before leaving (even though I had become used to two days of smoke breaks without a jacket… in January!!!). It was a bit chilly. So I thought I’d better bring a scarf…

Good thing I did. By the time I got downtown to work, the wind was howling and I needed to put up my fabulous Moebius scarf like this:

Hail hail Cat Bordhi! I didn’t realise I could do this trick with the scarf!

Anyway, this kept me going. The actual temperature today turned out to be 3C (37F) with a windchill (don’t you love that!) of -5C (23F). And I’ll tell you – that was some wind. It nearly carried my cigarette out of my hand a couple of times… my coworkers were all looking to steal my scarf off me because they had seen the same weather forecast I had!

I really, really hesitate to complain about the recent warmer weather… but why are the weather people telling us it is carrying on when it is decidedly not? It seems to be that they just don’t know. And we Canadians in particular get very, very confused with temperate weather in January.

So, Weather Gods… I have four words for you:

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS.

Is it warm, or is it cold? Pick one and stick with it, please. When it is 14C outside please don’t forget that the Canadian office buildings are heated at 21 or more C and that we all start passing out halfway through the workday – especially when we can’t open any windows.

Tomorrow the Weather Gods are calling for the same weather as today… so I’m prepared:

It had best not turn into a 14C day… or I will be writing a far stronger letter indeed when I have passed out in the subway due to overheating!!!

Yours very truly,

Kristina B.

PS. And please, please don’t take that tactic of saying “Well, it’s all YOUR fault… global warming and all.” I’m very sick and tired of being blamed about that. And, by the way, that does not explain the weather trends from 1945-46 which CTV News feels free to display every night (perhaps you should tell them not to put up the highest ever and lowest ever temperatures for the day in question….???) It seems that 1945 was the coldest year ever and 1946 was the warmest year ever… until now. I don’t suspect that pollution was quite the problem back then that it is right now… !!

(a) I was walking to the gas station for smokes and other provisions yesterday when a car whizzing by at about 80 km in a 50 km zone splashed me from head to toe. As a result, I got whacked in my (bad already) knee with a chunk of ice, and my iPod no longer works (I think it’s shorted out. I tried again this morning, and no go). Couldn’t get the idiot’s licence number. Good thing I didn’t have one of these!

(b) this morning it is two million below zero, or three million with the windchill. I slipped on a patch of ice this morning and got coffee all over me.

(c) the bus I take to work was diverted today due to an accident on Bathurst Street. The detour itself didn’t bother me – but I despite the attitudes it brings out in other residents of my fair city, some of whom were literally yelling at the driver “I don’t care if there’s an accident – I NEED to get to Bathurst station”. His answer: “Walk, then.”

(What does this photo relate to? Nothing, really. It just cheers me up to look at it. I actually had this shot of Dr. House playing Prince George set as my wallpaper on my work computer screen for a while. I chuckle every time I see it. I love The Black Adder!)

(d) I have an all day meeting today – usually this particular meeting is good for a few laughs, but I suspect most of the participants (from other parts of the province) will not show due to the lousy weather. This might impact on my ability to knit during the meeting (that is, if I have to participate more… usually I just like to sit there and nod my head wisely).

WAH!!! I know, I know: “Oh, you can’t knit during your meeting? Poor little baby. Ranting on virtual paper sure puts stuff into perpective!

On the upside, I did make a lovely dinner last night: Roast Loin of Pork “Cinghiale” by my favourite sexy TV chef, Nigella Lawson….

… and when I start to get depressed by working on my feudalism art piece (theme: the Landlord as Pacman – which is too close to reality to be funny, I think sometimes), I can just think happy thoughts about this:

… which reminds me of this:
Dandelion Handmaiden!!

Oh – and on the topic of Handmaiden and yellow-greeny colours, remember this?

Handmaiden Italian Silk, Bile colour (at least, that’s how I’ve come to think of it – as fondly as one can think about bile, anyway). At any rate, I was at Knitomatic yesterday (consoling myself about the godawful weather by buying some summer yarn on sale – will have to take pics at some point) and Haley there told me that that colour had come when she had ordered moss green! Moss green!!! All I could think of (but luckily, didn’t say) was “Don’t eat yellow snow”.

(Or dandelion greens, for that matter. My great grandmother, who died at 90 plus when I was nine, used to eat boiled dandelion greens every day then drank the water they were boiled in. The colour of this water was a muddy version of the Bile Handmaiden, come to think of it!)

And on that happy note… well, I feel better now, anyway. And so, I’m sure, did James Cross 37 years ago when he was released by his FLQ kidnappers. Not being able to knit at work pales in comparison, really.