I know it’s difficult to believe, but from time to time I am prone to feeling rather stupid. Until, that is, I read something like this news story – and realise that stupidity is really all quite relative.
What am I going on about? Well, the other day three guys
broke into allegedly broke into a house in Markham, a bedroom community just north of Toronto. They drove their Hummer up to the house and went right in during broad daylight. This is the street where the alleged burglary took place:
In other words, the Hummer looked way out of place in the street. Not exactly the most inconspicuous getaway vehicle in the world. I mean, why not just put up a neon sign as well while you’re at it?
Anyway, some nosy neighbour apparently called the cops – who arrived at the scene just in time to see the three accused walk out of the house, stolen property allegedly in hand. They got out of their unmarked police cruiser and told the guys to halt.
So, what did these rocket scientists do?
Run out to the Hummer, jump into it and try to drive over the cop car, that’s what. And they managed to drive partway up the windshield before reversing into another cop car that had just arrived.
So now, instead of just being charged with “theft under whatever”, they’ve now been charged with “mischief endangering life”, “fleeing the scene of a crime”, and (my personal favourite) “dangerous operation of a motor vehicle”. And I’m sure the Crown will come up with some more of the hundreds of criminal charges which fall under the loose category of “disobeying the cops”.
Not to mention, no doubt, being read the Riot Act. And yes, the Riot Act is alive and well up here in Canada:
In Canada, the Riot Act has been incorporated in a modified form into ss. 32-33 and 64-69 of the Criminal Code of Canada. The proclamation is worded as follows:
Her Majesty the Queen charges and commands all persons being assembled immediately to disperse and peaceably to depart to their habitations or their lawful business, on pain of being guilty of an offence for which, on conviction, they may be sentenced to an imprisonment for life. God Save the Queen!
Unlike the original Riot Act, the Criminal Code requires the assembled people to disperse within half-an-hour, and substitutes punishment by death with life imprisonment.
Hmm. Well, it could have been worse for them then, I guess.
But these guys certainly weren’t the brightest bulbs in the pack, now, were they?
Unlike this one:
Isn’t that cool? It’s in the Royal Scottish Museum in Scotland. I guess JJ is right when he keeps telling me the Scottish should be known for more than haggis and fried Mars Bars!
Well, back to the mysterious Project Blue which is shaping up quite nicely, thank you.
6 thoughts on “idiot of the week award”
How old were these Einsteins? If they were kids, I understand it. They always think they can just run and get away with whatever.
Probably sitting around doing “funny stuff” and one of them said, “hey, I know where we can score some f’n sh*t to sell and get us some money for some more of this.” And off they went in somebody’s dad’s Hummer.
There used to be a segment of some cop show that featured “America’s Dumbest Criminals” — my sister would call me when it was on and I’d watch and laugh. This is where being a public defender gets really hard. When people are that dumb, you can’t really do much for them, and not literally trying to knock sense into one’s clients becomes a real test of self-control.
By the way, I’m headed to the home of the Fleece Artist tomorrow! Now that you mentioned that Fleece Artist stuff is technically local… heck, it counts as souvenir yarn.
Well, they obviously weren’t all that smart or they wouldn’t have been allegedly stealing in the first place.
I guess dumb shits live everywhere! LOL
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
God, this is a great one. I love Dumb Criminal stories.
The neon sign visual was a nice touch. 🙂