Once upon a time there was a Princess called Aphrodite. She had the fairest figure in all the land of Trana:
For this reason, Aphrodite’s evil stepmother, the Handmaiden, was jealous. She kept Aphrodite locked up in this tower:
with only a shawl called Icarus for company.
Icarus was actually far better company for Aphrodite than one might think. He had been made of the finest Lace Silk which the Handmaiden had lovingly spun. Also, a wonderful designer called Miriam Felton dictated what form Icarus would take.
Now, Icarus had some very difficult moments growing up. He was constantly picked on by the full grown lace shawls in the tower. They even threw him outside a couple of times.
Even worse, he was attacked by the dreaded Frogman three times!
This left Icarus a little bruised and battered.
Perhaps it is for this reason that Icarus never reached his full weight. He was meant to become at least 150 grams with 1,000 metres of yarn, like all the other Icari. However, the Handmaiden used only a 3mm needle to make him – so he weighed only 90 grams!
However, his actual size was 66″ wide by 44″ deep – quite impressive for a scrawny underweight.
He initially got caught in the leaves protecting the tower, as you can see. However, he managed to disentangle himself and go exploring the grounds around the castle.
…but then got bored with this and went to find a more comfortable bed:
He then headed over to Millionaires Row – Aphrodite had told him never, ever to go there because the people who lived there were Evil and Corrupt Capitalists. However, Icarus didn’t initially see any evil people, only beautiful trees:
As well, people called Icarus had had a history of melting in the sun, and Aphrodite, being the superstitious Greek Princess that she was, was scared for her little shawl.
(The Weatherman had said that it would not be sunny for several days. However, everyone knew that the Weatherman was always wrong – especially in April).
Icarus, however, wasn’t missing home a bit. He hung around in front of Spadina House for a while:
then found some pine cones to play with.
“Hey! Those pine cones are my property!”, bellowed The Capitalist. He then threatened to call the police, who would come and unravel Icarus so that Icarus could never trespass again.
He also realised, seeing all the fabulous yarns, that he missed his lace brothers and sisters in the tower.
So, Icarus returned home to Aphrodite, who was thrilled.
And so they all lived happily ever after…
(Happily, that is, until Aphrodite got seduced by a Prince called Misti d’Alpaca who promised her all sorts of gold baubles:
…but then ran off, leaving her in a forest called Sherwood to fend for herself.
Stay tuned for the next fairy tale!!)