Wanted: rock stars, alive or dead.

Ever want to be a rock star??

Ever want to get out of a speeding ticket??

If so, the two are not as incompatible as you might think. Just ask this guy:

That would be the guy on the right, who managed to get out (temporarily, at least) of a speeding ticket in southwestern Ontario by telling the cop who pulled him over that he was actually the guy on the left – David Lee Roth of Van Halen!!

Don’t believe me? Well, I believe everything I read in the newspapers, myself.

Now, I don’t know if I’m missing something or not – but if I were to pretend to be a rock star, David Lee Roth would be about the last one on my personal list.  In fact, I had thought he disappeared sometime in the mid-80s.  Silly little me.

(Now, I know I have at least one or two male visitors to this site… feel free, boys, to leave a comment telling me if David Lee Roth is “the man” or not, eh?)

However, why not pretend to be an old has-been rock star, when dead rock stars get energy drinks named after them?!

I kid you not. I saw some at the Fresh & Wild(ly Expensive) shop – where else?!? – first thing this morning.

I mean, really. When did it become passe for living legends to advertise products? They have to hit up dead ones now?!? The man died in 1970, in part, as I understand it, influenced by his very own “liquid experience”. Now his ghost is hawking Red Bull clones!??!

They even have recipes for this stuff at the shop incorporating alcohol. Now, that’s just what I need, a drink that will make me hyper and depressed at the same time. (Not to mention that, at $3.50 per can I would have thought they’d already stuck some booze into it. But apparently not).

So, I’m giving up. Effective today, I, too, am going to pretend that I’m a rock star: I mean, why not?! No more speeding tickets, and immortalisation in the form of 21st century elixir.

Do I look convincing?